Is this a Good Rap By Me? New Verse.?

Question

Tell me if you think this is good. Im hispanic had a rough and hectic childhood and live in Nashville,TN
email me at [e-mail] This is freestyle and it is all true. Some is just fantasy.

Song:
I did school in the closet of a doctors office. I'd been kicked out of everywhere else for bein obnoxious. even though it was a hard situation i strived and got As dedication to education. Because here oppurtunities are few and far between life is hard and mean I played my cards like a rhyme scheme.
Sometimes id get mad and slit my wrists in the bathtub they'd calm me down with a backrub and i'd look at life and crack up.
I dont wanna be a school shooter doin a blast boom the teacher gets mad I blow her *** all over the classroom.
Remember when the vice pres shot his lawer maybe the layer killed his father and Cheneys diego montoya. Well thats all id like a standing ovation or maybe an invitation to party or a nice vacation. Peace God.

I wrote in 2 minutes at most.

Its all true.

Answer 1

yo u still young go hang wit ur friends at the mall. no beef but u cant rap, go pick up a basketball.

6 bars, 12 lines, thats how you do the rhymes. jus do wat u do just dont get outta line.

yo u in 8th grade take advantage of that, no drinking, no weed, u gotta stay away from that

i look back at all the things i done seen in the hood
from dead bodys crackhouse, chicken heads, and prostitutes

i made a mistake at 10 thought i was cool, decided to smoke wood. when my mamma found my S hit she spanked me in my glutes

its kinda hard when ****** is throwin beef at chu.
i remember livin 5 days only spendin a dollar

but we have to live this life where we forced to die for our colors.


i kinda didnt follow the 6 bars 12 lines, but thats wat i got for u B. jus do wat u do. i would recomend u stay to ur studies instead of messin with this rap game. stay in school, make rap a hobby, DO NOT try to make this into a carear. trust me i lived in los angeles. it dosnt just work like u think

u grew up in nashville. no offence but wat are u gonna rap about?????? are u just gonna rap about ur parants????
thats why there are only rappers from the hood. come on man lets face it, ur no eminem. so i would advise staying in school and getting a good job.

dont let me stop u if tahts ur dream but, thats just my advise

Answer 2

i like Eminem's verse from "Patiently waiting" (even although I hate 50 Cent and something of the song isn't very reliable, i think of this is the ideal rap I even have heard from Eminem or absolutely everyone else) you have been patiently waiting To make it by using all the dislike And debatin besides the fact that if or not you additionally can climate the typhoon while she lay on the table They working to maintain you this is like an angel got here to you sent from the heavens above they think of they loopy yet they ain't loopy we could face it Sh** in certainty they merely playin ill They ain't sh** they ain't sayin sh** Spray umh 50 (gun pictures) A to ok get interior the way I deliver Dre and them wit me and turn right this moment into f***in mayhem You stayin wit me do not permit me lose you i'm not tryin to confuse you as quickly as I permit lose wit this oozee And merely shoot by using you Izuzu You get the message Am I gettin by using to you you recognize this is comin You motherf***ers dont even kno do you're taking some huge and a few percentand additionally you combine them up in a pot Sprinkle slightly Yellow real What the f*** do you obtain? you obtain the realest and illest killers Tied up in a knot The Jebanauds of this rap sh** like it or not this is like a combat to the real to be sure who die for the spot you placed your existence in this Nothin like survivng a shot Y'all understand what time that's quickly as 50 signs and symptoms in this dot Sh** what you recognize approximately dying threats reason i'm getting alot Shady records became 80 seconds removed from the towers Them cowards f***ed with the incorrect development They meant to hit ours extra useful evacuate all babies Their Nuclear showers theres nothin spookier Your now approximately to witness the potential (i think of a few of those lyrics are incorrect, yet besides the fact that, i'm unlikely to objective and determine it out.. I merely decrease and pasted it) **lol this is a reliable one too contrast112! i think of my dad's long previous craaaaazy!

Answer 3

It is good but I would work on the flow a little bit

good luck