My Dad just had a heart attack and a quadruple by-pass surgery a week ago. He's been discharged from the Hosp. and is now at his home which was in the process of being remodeled, so is in no shape for a man recovering from open heart surgery. He refuses to go to my sister's to let her help him out and he's refusing to stay with my Grandmother as well. He's also trying to sneak his way out of going to his follow-up Doctor visits and just overall being stubborn and foolish about his health. Is there any legal way I can take control of this to make him take care of himself?
2007-03-21 13:31:15 · 8 answers · asked by momo2bys 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Your Dad has a right to live how ever he wants to and the best thing you can do is support his decisions, even if you don't agree with them. The last thing he is going to need is for someone else to try to take control in his life when he is likely struggling to keep it after he has taken care of everything and everybody all his life...his condition and limitations due to physical problems has already caused a huge blow to his self-esteem.
Unless he signed a waiver for you to be privy to his medical information, you cannot find out anything from his physician under HIPPA laws and they cannot even acknowledge they are treating him, let alone discuss his condition with you.
As long as he is of sound mind, there is nothing you can do, and sound mind by legal terms gives them a wide latitude.
I ran into this same situation with my mother towards the end of her battle with liver cancer and she refused to go into a hospital or hospice, refused to allow a visiting nurse come into her home, or anyone other than her best friend to check on her.
I contacted Adult Protective Services and was advised as long as she is of her right mind, she has a right to choose how she lives or dies; if she "messes" herself, as long as she makes an attempt to clean it up, she is considered of her right mind. It she just keeps junk food near her and doesn't want anyone to bring her anything to eat, she is trying to feed herself, so she is of her right mind.
As I went against my mother's wishes by trying to get her the help that I thought she needed and it caused a huge rift between use and she ended up dying alone in the night and was not found until the next day when her best friend went to visit her.
2007-03-21 15:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should respect his wishes - he is your father. You know this isn't the best thing for him medically, but really it isn't your business. Just be there for him if he ends up sick again.
You could only do anything about it if you could get him declared incompetent. Being stubborn, refusing advice, and even making yourself ill is not considered a sign of incompetence.
2007-03-21 21:16:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We often have trouble when we try to force our help on people who dont want or need it. Maybe you cant help him. If this is bothering you so much theres a world full of people who could use the help of you and your sister that I have a feeling that you've probably decided youd rather not help.
2007-03-21 20:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really, unless you can get him certified into an institution, which probably isn't a great idea.
Just talk to him. Try telling him he DOESN'T have a choice because you love him to much.
I'll tell you, us men can be so stubborn sometimes!
2007-03-21 20:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by powhound 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk with his doctors, and see what they can do. They may be able to talk to him, or put you in touch with the right people.
Good Luck
2007-03-21 20:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by rapger54 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is no way to stop dads. your best bet is to try and make everything he tries to do as easy as possb. thats all i can advise.
2007-03-21 20:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by Rodric N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His pride is on the line, in his own mind. You might suggest to him that if he doesn't cooperate in his recovery, you'll be forced to talk to his physician.
2007-03-21 20:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SEE IF YOU CAN SPEAK TO HIS DOCTOR.
MANY MEN SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AND DENIAL AFTER HEART SURGERY.
LET HIS DOCTOR KNOW IT IS URGENT. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO HAVE SOMEONE DECLARED INCOMPETENT. IT IS A LONG DRAWN-OUT PROCESS.
START WITH THE DOCTOR.
HE IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!!!
2007-03-21 20:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by charlotte q 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋