I just lost my baby through miscarrige....?

Question

I lost my baby 2 days ago. It's the worst thing in the world....

I dont know how to "cope" with the reality that my baby is gone...

I was picking names, i had furniture, i was already in love with the life growing inside of me...

Every night, I cant help but cry. It just comes over me and I cant control it...

How can i "move on" (*I know I'll never completly forget*)
I just need something to help me "live" again...

I lost my baby 2 days ago. It's the worst thing in the world....

I dont know how to "cope" with the reality that my baby is gone...

I was picking names, i had furniture, i was already in love with the life growing inside of me...

Every night, I cant help but cry. It just comes over me and I cant control it...

People say "you'll move on, things happen for a reason"

But you really dont know the pain until it happens to you....

How can i "move on" (*I know I'll never completly forget*)
I just need something to help me "live" again...

Answer 1

90% of miscarriages are due to a birth defect. It's God's little way of saying that your baby doesn't deserve to suffer and go through life with a handicap. I've gone through 5 miscarriages and I know it's hard, but life does go on.

Answer 2

having been through it myself, let me assure you that while you will come to terms with what has happened, you will never forget the baby that you lost.

give yourself time to grieve! It has only been a couple of days and it is all too fresh in your mind!

Of course you are sad and crying! Not only has a dream of some new little person come to an end, your body is still trying to figure out what has happened. You are hormonally in flux and your emotions are all part and parcel to what you have experienced.

Go ahead and cry! Talk about your loss and your feelings with understanding friends and try not to leave out Dad. Sometimes people forget that they are sad and grieving, too.

Remember that although sometimes, we don't always know why things happen, we can be assured that God can comfort us through our trials. He did not put this on you, nor did he "take" your child. Mortal circumstances are just hard sometimes.

When I lost my baby, I was 5 1/2 months along. The nurse at the hospital told me something that I think about every fall when it gets to be around the time that my miscarriage occured: "We don't always get to pick the way the journey goes or the stops along the way, but we always get to decide how we will handle it as it comes along."

Be sad. Cry. Don't give up on your dream of someday having a child. But don't rush into another pregnancy until you get checked out and make sure that you are physically and emotionally ready to handle another pregnancy.

See if your doctor can recommend a group who can share your experience and your grief. Chances are, there is someone close to you who has experienced the same sort of sorrow.

God Bless!

Answer 3

I've had three miscarriages so I know how you feel. It's only been 2 days, give yourself some time to grief for the baby you've lost. I know those around you tend to move on very quickly and they don't support you as much as they would someone who lost a 'grown' child, but talking about it does help. In time, the wounds will heal, there will always be a scar, but it won't hurt as much. You just need to give yourself some time.

I wouldn't suggest getting pregnant right away though. Again, you need some time. A new baby won't replace the one you've lost or make you feel any better. Talking from experience it may even make you feel worse. Wait at least three months or start trying again once you feel ready.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

I am so sorry you lost your baby..How far was you??I feel the pain with you as i have lost 2 myself and the last 1 was last year the pain does get easier at the moment your hormones will be all over the place i use to think that this only happens to other people.Its natures way of not letting a baby suffer if there is something wrong with her.You can go to your gp and ask for counseling and tell them how your feeling.Take care you will be fine but you don't forget it just gets easier.

Answer 5

How far along were you? I was 7 weeks, 1 day when I lost my little one. It's been about a year and a half ago and I still haven't gotten over it. Find a good support network definitely - I didn't have one when I lost my baby. It seemed like everyone around me just expected me to get over it and move on. Not that I don't have a fabulous family or friends, I just don't think they knew themselves how to react to it. I did eventually download a book off the internet called "Surviving Miscarriage"...it seemed to be really helpful and then I just sort of gave up on reading it. I think if you read it, it will be beneficial though.

Your little one will always be in your thoughts and no one will ever replace him/her. Avoid people that tell you to just get over it. That just makes the pain even worse. I hope you get through it better than I did and I wish that no one would ever have to go through an ordeal like that. There are so many people in this world having children that don't want them and then loving women like us lose our children. It isn't fair but there is a reason for it and I hope one day you find the reason why you lost your little one. Today I see my baby as my angel who led me to my soul mate.

Take care...

Answer 6

im so sorry for your loss. I know exsactually how you feel my partner and i lost a baby 2 years ago and we have had a baby boy since then and im 6 weeks pregnant now i often wonder how things may have turned out if my baby had survived. You will get your baby one day and the hurt and anger your feeling now wont be as bad (i promise) you will find it hard to be happy for anyone who is pregnant around you for a while but it will get easy im not going to tell you that you will get over it because i didnt and its been 2 years but you will fell so blessed and loved when it does happen that all the pain will fade

i think you may need to talk it through with your partner because he proberly feels as bad as you and if you love each other you will get each other through it if you feel you cant talk to him go to your GP and he/she will give you a phone number to speak to someone that wont judge you or make you feel bad about yourself.

remember theres nothing you could have done to stop it from happening im afraid it is just one of those things.

if you still want to try for another baby wait three months start taking folic and eat healthy.

and greive as long as you want dont let anyone tell you different

i wish you all the best in the future

Answer 7

I know a lot of your pain. I just lost my baby Friday morning 3-16-07. I had a name picked out for her and everything. My little angel was born at 22 weeks. The first thing I did when I came home from the hospital was pack up ever thing baby. I needed to clear my environment of all the reminders of my baby. I cried a lot the first few days, but I had to keep reminding myself that my baby wasn't hurting and that no matter how much I wanted her here with me, she was happy and safe where is was. It helped me a lot to talk and spend time with my husband as much as possible. Try to get out and doing things that were part of your normal routine before everything happened. I know it sounds hard, but your baby wouldn't want to stop living. It took my 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with her and now she's gone. We made a memory box for her and I think it helps. If you want to talk you can contact me through my profile. Hang in there and the crying is good for you. It gets out the pain and helps you heal.

Answer 8

There is no easy solution. You experienced a loss, and it is going to hurt for awhile. My suggestion to you is to talk to someone about how you are feeling...a counselor, friend, family member, support group, etc... It will also help to talk to someone who has experienced a this before. Another thing you can do is write down your feelings if you aren't ready to talk yet. You could also try volunteering somewhere that will help kids. I know it might be difficult for awhile, but you will feel better helping other people and making a difference in their lives. You will never forget what happened to you, and it will take some time to move on. One thing that you could do as a rememberence is to plant a tree for the baby you lost. My prayers are with you.

Answer 9

i went through the same thing about 4 weeks ago. it is absolutely the hardest thing i ever had to go through. but i was told, and i believe it, that a miscarriage is God's way of ending an abnormal pregnancy. something was wrong with the baby and even though it hurts right now, the pain will never go away, but it will get better. trust me. you will never forget the child you lost, but remember, you can always try again. i am so sorry for your loss and i wish you well in the future.

Answer 10

(((HUGS))) There is no easy way to get over it. I lost my baby 13 years ago. I was 20 weeks pregnant but the baby had only developed to 16 weeks. I was devastated. I had names picked out, clothing bought, furniture as well. All I can say is take it one day at a time. You will never forget but it does get better. It is natural to grieve your loss. Try to find a shoulder to lean on and a friend to talk to. I wish you the best.

Answer 11

I had a miscarriage before and i was devastated...that baby was a part of you and yes it is easy for people to say move on things happen for a reason and they are right to a point. but unless one has experienced it they shouldnt say that. I would suggest u talk to you someone about this such as a grief conseller. But it is true that everything does happen for a reason...maybe the baby you were carrying was going to have a lot of problems and this was natures way of preventing suffering for the child. If u want to talk some more feel free to email me. Its tough and i know what u are going through. renee_837 at hotmail dot com