I am happily married but just saw the "one who got away" and the feelings come back so deep. I would like to be friends with this other person but I feel really bad for my spouse. I have so many unanswered questions, we really should have never broke up. We were kind of forced away. Well I am close with his mom and see her alot, but should I avoid him and her and just try to forget all about him. I am not a bad person and I love my hubby and would NEVER want to hurt him. Please any advice?
2007-03-21 13:28:07 · 22 answers · asked by honey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u don't want to hurt your spouse, u need to distance yourself from the other guy and his mom. once u cross that line, even if your spouse doesn't know, u will know, and the guilt will destroy u emotionally. every day there are temptations in our life, and we have to walk away from them and do what is right, no matter what we are feeling for someone else. what u do to your hubby will come back to u by karma. u made a commitment to your husband, not this other man. u separated for a reason that u may not be able to see. u got to just trust u are with the right man now.
2007-03-22 00:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this advice might be a little painful to do but... You have to stop meeting this person. It's a common excuse to say that " you just want to be friends" with this person but more often than not, the friendship develops back to the love you once had especially in your case because the feeling's still there. About the forgetting though, here's what I have to say: The more you try to forget, the more that you remember. But, considering those conflicting feelings you have, I'm asking you now: who do you love more? Your husband or the other one? If you really love your husband now, then do what I just said. But if you still love the other one more, you have to be honest with your feelings or you might regret it for the rest of your life. If you love the other one more, talk to your husband about it as well as the other person if he still has the same feelings for you. If your husband really loves you, he'll understand. Give it careful thought though because there are risks involved in the decision you'll be making.
2007-03-21 13:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ichigo14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love you hubby, than I would, since you say you still have feeling for the other person, stay away. If you think you could just be friends, than that's great, but how would you feel if it was you husband and he ran into a old love.
The way I see it, is ya'll broke up for a reason, whatever it may have been, there was a reason for it, you were not meant to be.
2007-03-21 13:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by blebert2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I can relate to ur situation i myself are married and seen the first person i fell in love with and yes i felt something and met them,i didnt have contact with any member of his family just with him,i seen him a few times on my own and we kissed and yes the butterflies came aswell as the excitment when he texted me my heart skipped a beat and i grinned when i seen it was from him.I stepped back from the situation before it went too far as how would i feel it it was my husband who did it to me?I told my ex contact had to stop for the time being as i was carrying too many feelings for him.After much persuing by him i stood my ground and ignored his calls and his texts and letters.I chose to do this as was my Husband i chose to marry not my ex if my ex loved me as much then it would be him i was married too.He let me go and i have now realised that,its only been since november 2006 since contact stopped.Its not just my feelings that mattered my husband has them also and no partner deserves to be cheated on,u wouldnt like it if his ex contacted him and said oh maybe we shouldnt have broke up.Things happen for a reason,why u ask?i dont know why if ur ex had the same feelings im guessing u have he had time to get the church and stop the wedding if u were still in contact with his mam she would of told him when and where.You married you husband for a reason concentrate on finding that reason before u try the greener grass or ur whole world u have built up with ur hubby comes crashing down around u and u end up with nothing
2007-03-21 14:06:43 · answer #4 · answered by missunderztood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but you say you're happily married - if you were happily married then noone else would compare to your hubby, what's in the past is in the past and the past is no place to live, if you never want to hurt your hubby then just forget about "the one" - if he really wanted to get back with you let him get in contact with you, I don't know of many people who can be friends with their ex!! You also have to think if your hubby was in your position you wouldn't want him hurting you now would you??
2007-03-21 13:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Emma B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he "got away" for a reason. You are meant to be married to your husband or you wouldn't be. Please do yourself and your husband a favor and stay away from that man! From the way you are talking about him it doesn't sound like you could be just friends with him since you say you should have never broken up. You would be taking a huge risk. Please don't put your husband(and yourself) thru that....or if you really want to be with this other man then let your husband go first and don't cheat on him. I feel bad for him, too with the way you are talking about another man.
2007-03-21 14:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by love my life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want to do what is right, the first thing you need to do is be open with your husband about it and make it obvious that you want to forget this guy and be faithful to your husband. Do not be friends or anything with this guy and try to limit your friendship with his mom as much as possible. If you see them, of course, be courteous and mannerly, but your husband is your priority. Don't forget that you made some very sacred vows the day you got married.
2007-03-21 13:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings for "the one who got away" can actually hurt your relationship with your husband. I can understand you wanting to close chapters in your book per say, but if you have feelings for this old fling, then stay away from the situation until you can resolve your feelings. If you just can't shake him, then with a close and true friend meet him. Close that chapter in your book. If you still can't shake him, then you got decisions to make and they are not going to be easy.
2007-03-21 13:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by Maxi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your feeling now is called LUST! Forget about the past, focus on your future. What about your husband? After all you married him. Hanging around the ex and his mother is just gonna mess up your marriage.
Reverse this situation your husbands hanging out with his ex and her family. Sounds great doesn't it Bet you have nothing to worry about!Cause their just real good friends Right!!!!
2007-03-21 13:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by babygirl l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok my answer is simple. become friends with your "ex". your hubby shouldnt have a problem with it. i am pretty sure your husband has friends that are girls also. therefore, you should be allowed friends that are guys. Now, i am not married, or seeing anyone currently, but i do hang out with my ex boyfriends and sometimes i do feel like kissing one of them once in a while, but since hes not my boyfriend, or in your case your husband, i dont kiss him. see what im saying?
2007-03-21 13:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by taylor hudgens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋