How could I tell my friends I am gay?

Question

I’m 17 and I’m gay. I’m starting to plan how I’m going to come out to my friends, and I don’t know how they will feel about it, so I was wondering how I could slowing break it to them. Considering I’m only a junior, I don’t want to freak them out or anything, especially since I slept with one of them (really just slept, nothing sexual). It could be an awkward senior year if this goes wrong. But no matter what happens, I still want this to get out into the open.

Answer 1

If you are just dealling with it yourself it probably isn't the best time.

Do you really need to tell them, given the age it isn't always so well excepted, and it has nothing to do with how good they are as friends.

What changes if you tell them your gay?

Act like yourself, be who you are. Maybe you should talk to a really close friend first, or find another gay person who can support and mentor you.

I had a two friends who never said anything, later we found out they were dating each other. It was fine, we went through the hard years together and really knew each other, but it took until there early 20's to be safe with it.

We needed the time to grow up too.

Answer 2

Wow...I never came out until I was done with high school. I didn't really care what people thought of me anyways, because I was hot on my teachers. But in any sence, I did have a gay friend who came out, he had a guy come up to him who chastized him and critisized him for being gay, in high school, come up to him after they had graduated and say, I am sorry for treating you so bad. Its because I was gay too and didn't want anyone to know. But when you came out I felt better about myself and I am out now.
It takes a boy to sit there and do nothing about it. It takes a man to take the accusations and critisizing, and to find out his best friend is gay too.
You never know. Only you know how to do this. It may be scary and your out, but life is worth enjoying, it will feel good to be in your own skin rather than hiding from it.

Answer 3

I think you should just tell them. My friend Jake came out to me and was worried about how i was going to react. To be honest there was some signs here and there and so i was not real shocked. He is my friend, gay or not, and i am sure that your friends will be ok. If they make mean comments or avoid you, than maybe they are not real good friends to start with. Be proud of you are.

Answer 4

funny thing is if you just allow yourself to be the real you, a lot of those close to you will easily figure out you prefer male companionship to female. Only if you spend a lot of time and effort tryign to hide yourself will they not.

bottom line is, if you are the real you around the friends who matter, they may already know and not need to be told.

Answer 5

You should just tell them. No games. I had a really good friend and I always new she was a lesbian but she wouldn't come out. She stopped hanging out with our group of friends and a few years later we found out she came out. I would have been totally fine with it and it hurt me she never told me. If they are your true friends they will support you and if not you don't need them.

Answer 6

well, outta 100% of da ppl i kno, i told maybe 50% or less, n only a lil less than 25% accepted it. if they ur friends, they SHOULD understand, but most likely prolly wont, dependin on the openness of yo friends. if they pretty acceptin of differences, and the friends group is a mix of diff types of ppl it should be ok...but if they dnt seem open, if the culture of ur friends aint ok w it, or if u feel uncomfortable tellin em, i wouldnt. i had a lot of permanent life damage by comin out, and i came to learn 1 thing...yes, i am gay, its the truth of who i am, but does the truth need to be told? im not sayin to lie to em, but do u NEED to tell yo friends? is it a life requirement? da guy u slept w, how do u think he gonna react? he must be a good friend, but how good? do u suspect he gay...do u have feelins for him? well, personally, if anyone kno u r gay...ask them, get advice from some1 u can fully trust! btw, i was at my 1 friends place. he aint gay, and he dnt understand it. it was really late at night, n he gotta apartment near da top floor of a 25 story buildin in downtown cleveland. well, he n i had a talk outside on his balcony, (really kinda nice, like a movie!)...n i didnt wanna come out to him, but i did....even tho he aint gay, and he dont understand it...we slept on da same bed(considerin there was no otha place for me to sleep) nothin happened...we woke up, i went home. n we still friends today! it depends on the "right time" i guess. maybe...if u gotta friend, a closer one from da group, some1 u kno u can trust da most...when u ready, tell dat person (usually gay males find it easier to come-out to females) but not in every situation. i hope this helps! take care, and best of luck!

Answer 7

Sounds like you are ready to fly out of the closet. Just tell them before they find out from someone else. That would really hurt them. Believe me, I know!

Answer 8

well what u should do is one saturday do alot of things and then tell but if they dont treat u right they are not your friends you can find some men @ gay bars that will accept you

Answer 9

just tell them like 'i have a secret, dont tell anyone else' or something. my friend told us he was gay because some of my friends go to the library after school w/ him. he told them and they told me and i didnt believe it until i asked him. or if you have any other friends that know you are gay then ask them. even your parents. if your parents dont know then i advise that you tell them.

Answer 10

I think u should say it casually and dont make a big deal out of it. you should first see how they react when they talk to someone who is gay or talk about someone who is gay.