Would you hit a girl if ! READ?

Question

Well i found out about year ago that my ex was sleeping with another man behind my back ,
Well Turns out after we get DNA Test done that the baby is not mine ,
I the issue i have with this is ,
I was at the Birth , She told me the baby was Def mine and that she wouldnt want to bring a baby in to this world with any other man but me , She said i would be the best dad in whole world !,
Anyway we split about 3 months after she had the baby and i know from then something wasnt right ,
So when i found out the DNA Test i totaly lost it and i know it was wrong but i was so upset about what she had did to me , as being a dad felt great ! but to hav to tell your Family and friends your not a dad is one of the hardest things i have ever done ,
But one night i was out in town and i went back to my ex partner's house and gave her slap for what she did ,
Anyway i ended up in court and got 200 hours Community Service for it since it was my first ever Crime , Im not bad person ,Just Upset

I know it was wrong for slapping her but she just found it all funny and would laugh in my face like it didnt matter , I loved this girl and are little boy and she basicly kicked me out and ran of with another man with loads of money , but to find out baby is not yours after you have got him so many things and to lose contact was very hard to deal with ,

I was wrong for hitting her but i dont regret it as she should have never done what she did and lie,

All us men want is the truth , If she told me the truth i could have then said to her ok , thanks for telling me , that doent matter as ill still be his dad ect .

I know alot girls hate guys that have hit girls but im not hiding from it , Im just saying that sometimes a woman and go over the edge and totaly mess a guys head up like my ex did me, Feel free to post a commant ,

Dont need to tell me i was wrong i know , But it made me feel hell lot better , I hated her laughting in my FACE.

Answer 1

What she did was totally out of order, she took advantage of the fact that you loved her and would do anything for her. As for the hit, you slapped her, you could have dont more damage with a punch, but keep your head down, do your community service and get her out of your life, never talk to her again.

Answer 2

Not a great situation for anyone to be in and whilst I wouldn't advocate hitting a woman, What's done is done and you can't go back and change it.
I can understand your anger, if what you say is true then that's one mean b*tch. but as my mum always used to say, you can't build happiness on someone else's sorrow.
She won't have the best of lives if she goes around treating people like that.
It's the child I feel sorry for. what a start in life!

Honey, as much as you seem to be asking for conformation that you were right to hit her, reading between the lines, your hurting. You were a daddy and now you're not.
I'm a mother and my children are my world so I think I understand what having that taken away from you must feel like.

Do your community service. Atone for making a bad judgement call at the time and learn from it's lesson.
Anyone can be a father, it takes a special kind of man to be a daddy, and the fact that you said being one was great, tells me that you'll make a good daddy when it happens for you.

Move on, and don't let the experience cloud your judgement again. Your wife is out there somewhere, your kids are waiting to come to you. Don't risk losing what you could have by treating every woman you meet like the last one.
We're not all the same.
Be well sweetie.

Answer 3

Ah you poor darling! My heart goes out to you! It must have been absolutely devastating and heartbreaking for you to find out the child you loved was not yours. While voilence is never a good think and hitting a woman is not a great thing to do, I think anyone with an ounce of compassion would understand why you did what you did. You are not a bad person & dont give yourself a hard time over this, it was a one off under extreme circumstances. I hope someone wonderful comes into your life and that you dont think all women are as cruel as your ex, she is in the minority. Good luck darling, big hugs xx

P.S. just read RAINBOWS comment - you heartless *****, how the hell would you feel if you had a baby and the father took your child away from you!! Can you imagine how frustrated and powerless this poor guy must have felt! I bet you have lashed out at some point in your life. I think you should get some counselling to try and learn a bit of compassion and understanding!

Answer 4

Oh god you poor, poor man I so feel for you, what she did to you was beyond disgraceful, but hitting her wasn't the answer as much as you were hurting and still are by the sound of it which is totally understandable, she sounds just like the sort of person who wanted you to hit her just so you could suffer even more, she is reflecting all the blame back to you and foolishly you are rising to her, do yourself a favour and stay away from her, do your community service, save some money and get the hell away from things for a few weeks to get your head straight again and one day when you have done I really hope you meet such a lovely woman who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve, good luck.

Answer 5

No man should have to go through want you went through, being lied too, laughed at in your face, you don't deserve that no man does.

Understand why you lost it, most men would. I as a female would like to say, I don't like men hitting women, but you were put through a mini hell, maybe you shouldn't have hit her, but who are we to judge.

I will tell you that I am a good person, but once, many moons ago, I slapped a bloke across the face, I didn't know the chap, but just had an argument with my brother, and when this chap knocked on the door and asked for my brother, I just slapped him across the face, in my defence, I was at the end of my tether.

Unlike you, I slapped an innocent person , your ex was very evil in her actions, she betrayed you, she lied to you and she mocked you. Who in they right mind wouldn't hit out, unfortunately it was her face and she took you to court.

Answer 6

I know that you were hurt but you can't put your hands on people (man or woman). If she was laughing at you then that's a sign that you shouldn't want to be with her or have anything to do with her. What she thought shouldn't matter and if you are constantly going around her and giving her the opportunitiy to laugh at you then that's your fault. NO you shouldn't have hit her. Aside from being wrong for physically attacking someone, now you police record for attacking people. It's not worth it. Just get away from people when they do things like that to you instead of losing control like that. It never ends well.

Answer 7

It sounds as though she has given away her character by the laughing episode - and from your story appears very disingenuous. As you say an extreemly tough emotional episode to go through - people have done much worse in your situation and it does not sound like you've chopped anyone's legs off - or put horse heads into peoples beds - so good on yer - lying stinking ***** by the sound of it. As the three time divorcee friend of mine says (although you say you are not a woman hater) " snakes with t*ts" - but he is screwed up- so sink a few sherberts - tell the lads till their bored of hearing it - cut the notch on your belt and move forward - as yoda would say "choose wisely " next time....

good luck

Dave

Answer 8

If you believe that what you did, even though it was wrong, was justified under the circumstances then you are saying it is sometimes 0K to do the wrong thing.
Why was it not then OK for her to have done the wrong thing?
0r or things wrong only when someone else does them?

Hope you benefit from those 200 hours.

PS If you let other peole's actions determine your reactions you are not a man, you are a puppet

Answer 9

Under the circumstances it would be easy to get angry with that woman. A slap, is not correct, but many men would have done a lot worse. So she got off lightly after what she did to you. Now move on and make a freash start for yourself.

Answer 10

I don't really think you or her made a good decision. She flat up PLAYED you and lied to you about something as big as a baby but you hit her... the right move would have been to dump her, leave her in the dust, kick her to the curb, whatever you want to call it but you HIT her! You don't really need to ask this question because the lesson is in itself. LOOK WHERE IT LANDED YOU! I know you and like, everyone else has said it but words are more powerful than revenge.

Ps: Sorry about everything that has heppend to you...some times life stinks!!!