i been married 4 10yrs have 2 girls we starting having problems; he wanted sometime off, eventually found out he was cheating it really hurted me. i love him so much that i still let him use me, why? how can i move on, how can i stop the urge of needing 2 talk 2 him, all he does is treat me bad & call me names & im still there whenever he says jump. I dont know how 2 say no 2 him, i love him but i cant take this anymore yet i practically begg him 2 want 2 work things out, i met a couple of male guys, i tried making friends but the interests wasnt there in both ways. I just want people 2 talk 2, i am not looking for someone else just meet new people. I have also made new girls friends, but he saw my cell phone bill & now blames me for having somethingto do with these 2 guys who i dont even talk 2 no more n didnt even have interested in them 2 begin with, is it wrong to meet new people, is he right? how do i just let this go, how can i convience myself ideserve better
2007-03-21 12:21:34 · 15 answers · asked by HelpmeFast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a divorce, Good Lord, are you brain dead? I did not even read your whole rant.
2007-03-21 12:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey move on don't put yourself down your showing him you can't do better. Your daughter's need a stable father figure in their life's and trust me there are men out there who would love to father your children and love you and respect you you just don't want to. For some reason you like this challenge and your going after it just stop stop stop and don't be- little yourself anymore. Think think think do you want your girls to follow you? then do the right thing.You try many times to work this out you put your part and effort into the right thing but to him the right thing wasn't good enough. A real man would do anything to save his family and he is not showing enough effor
he wants freedom and be with other women and live it up. You are to mature for this kid get yourself a man look good dress good love yourself and treat yourself to the best.There are men who are dying to meet a girl who are going to treat them right just like the way you want to get treated. And about your numbers that been discovered give me a break this guy will try to find any excuse to do what ever he wants to do and blame you for it. Come on if he really loves you he would believe and not hold it against you. Way deep inside he knows you didn't cheat and he damn knows your to scared to even try it. next time I really hope he finds you with a real hot guy playing daddy with your kids so he can crap on himself then he'll be drooling back for you then you'll look at a sorry looking puppy trying to lick up back what he once had then it'll be to late because some one else will be in his spot treating you like a princess.
I wish you the best.
2007-03-21 19:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by amores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that the issue here is one of selfishness on his part and one of low self-esteem on yours. I suggest that you talk things out with your mother and some girlfriends. If he becomes upset at this, then abuse is just around the corner and it is time for you to leave. Marriage is about the relationship of the couple and not the children. If your relationship is not healthy, the children are toast.
Loving him is not wrong, but it seems that he loves himself more than he loves you. You two have grown apart and trouble has already found you. One of the main reasons people marry is companionship and that seems to be absent from your relationship. He gets his fix and you get lonely.
Honey, I believe that it is time to go. Talk to your mother, talk to some girlfriends, and get going.
It is better to be alone than with bad company. Besides, you can always meet another guy and start anew.
Mr. M on "cheated."
2007-03-21 19:34:59 · answer #3 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't read all this either, hon. You need some counseling to figure out why you like to be a door mat. You're just the jerk in reserveto him, the booty call, a warm hole when he can't find anyone else, or the person with whom he is involved is otherwise busy, or giving him a bad time........ sorry for you hon. Get some help, and get your self-esteem back. If you are a nice lady, you deserve better. He ain't comin' back, so flush that idea... it ain't gonna happen....
2007-03-21 19:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Operative word, married; no, you have no business bringing new people in your life, you are married! And your poor babies, they are watching how they are expected to be treated when they grow up by what you accept in your life.
You have to be out of your mind if you keep "loving him" when he is out there and can bring who knows what back home to you.
Love him enough to pack it up and move on; love yourself enough to say enough. God didn't put you in this world to be used and mistreated like this, for goodness sake woman, get a backbone. Are you staying out of habit and because its a lot of work to start over? If so, believe me, when you see the other side of the stream you will be so glad you jumped!
Please, stop the madness and do what is right if not for you, for your children.
2007-03-21 19:29:39 · answer #5 · answered by OPTIMIST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a two way street. When he leaves again, change the locks on your doors. He is abusing you - something you can live without. You can't say no because you are scared of him! He's bad news. You just got to get rid of him and get on with your life. I know just what you are going through because I've been there. The hurt is only temporary if you change the locks and get rid of him, but if you don't you will hurt for the rest of your life.
2007-03-21 19:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are this man's equal....How dare he question you about who you speak to....he can come to any conclusion he likes and you have every right to speak with whomever you wish because he has virtually set you free....you are a single woman and have all the rights of a single woman. You may be married, but it is in name only because there is certainly no commitment on your husbands part....so you are free to do what you want to do. He does what he wants to do, so why should he have any say in what you do?
I reckon you need to read a lot of questions on here about women talking about how to come to terms with their cheating husband. You read so many of them and it becomes a little pathetic after a while. I am very sympathetic to their grief because ive been there myself, but why on earth are women so complient to being treated like pieces of shite? It totally baffles me. I was hurt terribly in my marriage, but I had enough pride and self-worth to walk away. I had enough pride in myself to pick myself up, brush myself off and make a positive choice in my life.....FOR ME AND MY KIDS. What are you teaching your children? You are showing them, that women are no more than a man's toy. You are teaching them to bow down to any kind of behaviour, no matter how degrading it is to them.
Hey, if you need someone to talk to, talk to me, I can give you some really positive tools to take back your control....I can give you some really positive steps to take to find your pride again. Dont do this to yourself anymore....you are not a piece of shite to be manipulated....you are a human being first. A person will only treat someone a particular way if they are allowed to. You are giving your husband permission to treat you anyway he wants to......that is disgraceful and he should be ashamed of himself.. Find your pride, and find it quickly because it will only be time before he destroys you.
2007-03-21 19:36:34 · answer #7 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for goodness sake
wake up to yourself woman
you have 2 daughters who need you
stop worrying about your needs
stop letting him intimidate and manipulate you
you are not a animal to be treated that way
get a restraining order - to keep him away
and get over it - he is a cheat
and move on - go out more meet more people whether they are female or male
and finally stand up for yourself - if you dont do it now you never will
2007-03-21 19:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by boonoora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling yet? It might be good just to talk to someone. Get a lawyer. Let your husband know that you will only be talking to him through your lawyer. If he calls, only let your daughter's answer the phone.
If he wants to talk to you, tell him you only will if he agrees to go to couples therapy.
To meet new people, try www.meetup.com
2007-03-21 19:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by Krystina M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your husband have serious issues! If he is cheating on and off it's time to move on. Do it for yourself and your girls.
2007-03-21 19:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋