Okay, a few months ago, my husband and I were getting divorced. I mean paperwork completed, husband sleeping at his sister's house, etc. It was over. I contacted a dear friend of mine (who happened to also be my boss from a year or so ago) and told him. Him and I flirted heavily at work, but since we are both married nothing ever became of it. We started regularly speaking by phone or email. He was always very receptive and supportive of me. Then after Christmas, my husband and I reconciled. I told him one day during a phone conversation. He went on to tell me several reasons people stay in marriages they aren't happy in. He didn't sound very happy about the news either. Now, I have emailed him since then to tell him I am moving away (I really just want to say a simple good-bye -and he's a job reference so this is a touchy subject) but he hasn't responded. My fear is that I hurt him. Guys, what should I do? My gut says let it be? What would you do?
2007-03-21 12:19:45 · 13 answers · asked by StormyC 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would probably let it be. You didn't do anything to intentionally offend or hurt him, so he can't hold it against you. Plus if you tried to contact him again to make sure he's not upset, it would probably just further complicate things. So just let it be, everything will turn out ok.
2007-03-21 12:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by blondie22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you need to leave it along that way if he is hurt which may not be the case, it could be just his male pride. This should have never happened since he was a former boss and nothing good can come off getting involved with bosses whether ex or not. Now, if he is a decent man this will not stop him from giving you a good reference, plus most states have it where you can't give a bad one, now they can refuse to answer the questions which would imply that you weren't a good worker. I certainly wouldn't give it anymore thought.
2007-03-21 13:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very simple. He's MARRIED. You are MARRIED. His feelings don't matter. Your spouse's feelings do! Don't send letters or call this man or chase him around trying to make yourself feeling better. Leave it alone! Concentrate on your marriage. If you would put half the energy into your marriage that you've put into this little friendship, you'd have a fabulous marriage again!
2007-03-21 12:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it be. He was falling in love with you. That is not your fault, but he is very hurt now. Just let it go. I am happy you and you husband are trying again. You must really love each other.
2007-03-21 12:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You have husband but crush on guy. Guy likes you.
2) You divorce husband, guy is happy.
3) You get back together with husband
4) You tell guy you are back together with your husband
5) You are confused as to why guy is unhappy about this.
ARE YOU KIDDING? If not, please read the sequence of events again and try to figure out why this guy may be dissapointed and not want to talk with you.
2007-03-21 12:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were messing around via email and phone with a married man, and then asked for a reference? Um.... let it go. Stop playing around with the man.
If you still have questions, as your husband what he thinks you should do.
2007-03-21 12:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like man on the make, perhaps making plans....leave him alone....hurting his feelings is far better than having the guilt of carrying on with him and hurting his marriage.
2007-03-21 12:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
become a Hare Krishna and stop your bad Karma
2007-03-21 12:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Humble Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut. Just let it be!
2007-03-21 12:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by Tom B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it be,,,otherwise it could lead to trouble
2007-03-21 12:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by igottadrive2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋