my mom and step dad are splitting up, and in a way its a good thing because i dont like him, its not good because im getting put in the middle of it. Ands money is gonna be really really tight, that im gonna have to take on a job like babysitting (im 13) can someone give me some advice on how to deal with this?
2007-03-21 12:00:45 · 11 answers · asked by Rhiannon. Stay[[+]] 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my mom also has a job, iwould do it to help out
2007-03-21 12:06:34 · update #1
I know that it is probably a tough time, not only for your mom, but for you as well. Since you are not fond of your step father, and he somewhat happy he is leaving, you will, and I know that you are only 13, have to be somewhat strong for your mom (and other siblings if you have them).
I am speaking from experience, and I was around the same age as you were. Money was very tight, and I had a younger sister and brother that I was left to tend to ( I was 12--my sis was 2 and my bro was 1). My mom didn't work, I was in high school, and I had a lot of responsibility. I looked after my siblings after school, cooked,cleaned whatever had to be done. My mom went out and took on a couple of jobs, bartending and working at a golf course. I helped out with any extra babysitting I could do, and in the summer time I worked in the fields (corn detassling, picking tomatoes and cucumbers---not glamourous jobs but we needed money).
As I was getting older, I learned to save money where I can. Coupons, anything that I could do to save a dollar, I would cut out of the paper, magazine, whatever. It was hard because I was in my teen years where everyone was judged on what one person had. I never had anything super nice as a kid, but as I grew up, and started earning money for myself, I splurged. I had many many shopping trips that were well deserved.
I know that you may not like what you are looking forward to in the coming months, but believe me, things will get better. There will be no more no-name mac and cheese, you will be able to get the Kraft mac-n'-cheese. As for getting put in the middle of this, you need to speak up, now. Don't let them drag you into this anymore than what you are. You just have to tell them, that you understand (you think) about their decision to separate, and you are just the child. You are your mothers child, not your step-dad, unless he has adopted you. But there is no middle for you to be put in the middle of, and that they have to set an example for you and learn to get along if they have to be in the same room even though they are not together. They need to be the adults and if they want to fight like children, it should be done behind closed doors, where you will not witness any of it.
If you can do this, and get through it with your mom, you will be stronger than what you think when you are older.
Keep smiling and trust me when I say, it will get better.
2007-03-21 12:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by jesterthemutt2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can earn some money over the summer helping neighbors and/or relatives with chores and babysitting. Then you could use the money to put toward your clothes and school supplies for next year, that would be a big help for mom. I don't know why you are in the middle of it, but it should be just between the two of them. Hopefully, when he is gone, things will quiet down for you and mom and you can both find hapiness. :)
2007-03-21 12:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is the reality of the situation. I don't see what the big deal is here. People in other parts of the world have it really bad and you are living like a queen in comparison to them. Your working to help the home's finances is not wrong, so do it well and earn what is needed. Besides, it's not like you are getting enough homework to keep you busy, anyway.
Things may seem a bit tight at the moment, but it is better this way since the bad boyfriend will be out of the picture.
Cheers,
Mr. M on "help me."
2007-03-21 12:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting work babysitting is a great idea :)! You already have the right attitude. Also, remember not to make your mom feel bad for once loving a jerk.
2007-03-21 12:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think reading these answer here can really help you. I would go to your school and talk to someone. Working is good, but dont let your grades slip and dont work too much. GO get yourself some help.
2007-03-21 12:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not your job to bring in money. Your mother needs to work out how to support the family. You're a kid, worry about kid things
2007-03-21 12:04:41 · answer #6 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it, it's between them not you. Babysitting would be nice to help out but stay out of the break up.
2007-03-21 12:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have to deal with money issues. your 13. what happens between your mom and step dad, is between them.
2007-03-21 12:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
things will smooth out over time. just be there for your mom and she will be there for you.
2007-03-21 12:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by mary m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a job.. and help your mom as much as possible....
2007-03-21 12:04:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋