I've been married for almost 3 years. For 2 yrs I have avoid sex for as long as I can. It really hurts his feelings. I love him and I enjoy everything else. I just don't want sex. Why?
2007-03-21 11:50:14 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you know the answer to that. If you can't figure it out, go to counselling. Sex is an important part of your relationship and you are hurting his feelings.
2007-03-21 11:57:21 · answer #1 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Same situation here. Married for almost 3 years, but I have not been "avoiding" sex. I just don't think about it and he usually has to initiate it. I am attracted to him and I love him. He is not bad in bed at all. We do have some marital problems but nothing that can't be worked out. But for some odd reason everything else BUT sex is always on my mind. I have been like that for quite some time, even before marrying my husband. When I was single I would go probably 2 to 3 months, or sometimes longer, and it wouldn't bother me. Every now and then it would, but not often. But I can tell you this, you, me, and all the other women who are in this situation better do something because how long do you expect your husband to wait? He has needs too and they need to be met.
2007-03-21 12:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, there are a couple things - How old are you? Women in their 20s (married or in serious relationships) generally do not think very often about sex, and therefore, do not want to have it. (ask any young married man how often he is "getting some" and he can tell you) Sometimes it is hormoanal -
Are you taking anything for Birth Control? Sometimes that can really mess with you too. I know it did with me.
What about recently having a child? That can REALLY put you off track -
Try a few things... Black Cohosh, for example - Try setting up a time - A date night, if you will - (if you have kids get a sitter) leave the house, eat a lite dinner at a nice place, come home and give each other a massage. It works wonders. Setting up a date night will give you a change to anticipate the intercourse... Maybe thinking about it long enough will do the trick. Hope I helped!
2007-03-21 12:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by abayifo 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Once *again* - more proof that many women mis-represent their true sex drives from the men they intend to marry - then once the wedding is over the real sex drive rears its head.
I think your condition is quite common. And it frustrates the living hell out of the men who have to deal with it, since talking, not talking, begging, not begging, romance, no romance, nothing a man does or does not do can help. Ask a physician and a psychiatrist what the hangup is. Man I pity the guys who have this going on in their lives. It's a constant source of rejection and frustration and conflict and dissatisfaction.
2007-03-21 12:43:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would guess if it was something about him or your relationship, you'd have a clue.
The fact that you have no clue makes me suspicious it could be hormonal.
Your husband has had a rough two years, but he's lucky. WHy? Because unlike many men in his position, his wife seems to actually realize that there is a problem and its not with him.
If _you_ feel there's an issue, I'm sure with medical/therapist help, you can at least reach some compromise with him. Make it happen!
2007-03-21 16:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like someone else said, it could be something medical, like your "openings" aren't big enough. But if you try to make it work he will see how much you love him. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about what you don't like and what you do. Be open and talk even while making love. Trust me, it helps when he knows you like something, it will make him feel good knowing he is doing something right. As a married couple it is important to have that intimate bond. But he is going to start feeling the effects of the lack of sex. You might not like it, but do it anyways. Just to show him that you love him still.
2007-03-21 12:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by Gwen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have some hormone problems one of which is very low. So see a doctor and have a couple of tests done to get that corrected then you'll want to have sex with your hubby.
Have two female friends that had this problem they went and had their check ups and was prescribed a testosterone pill which they were low on, and now they are back in tip top shape sexually speaking.
2007-03-21 12:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You tell us.
Does he smell bad? Does it hurt to have sex with him? Is he abusive but you love him anyway? Is there one thing about him physically that you can't stand to see naked?
I've heard of women who avoid sex with their husbands because they're addicted to their toys. I hope that isn't the case.
Seek counseling. Talk it out, and work it through.
2007-03-21 11:54:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Could have hormonal troubles. Time for an appointment to the gynecologist and some testing. Good luck.
2007-03-21 13:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why, but if you don't address it, you're marriage is toast. It might be several years, but it will get worse and worse.
You not wanting to have sex with him hurts his feelings so badly, I promise you. You can only hurt the man you love for so many years before he gives up on you.
Go to a therapist if you have to. In the meantime, have it anyways - whether you feel like it or not.
2007-03-21 11:54:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋