I got a 91 on my midterm and my dad sais I'm slacking. I don't study 24/7, but I do try hard. Who's right?

Question

My dad pushes my a lot in school, and I get straight A's. I have since 4th grade. I believe that this expectation is unreasonable. I try my hardest in school every day, but I also try to have fun while I'm there and have a life. I don't study as much as I could, but I grasp the material in school and get A's on most of the assignments. My dad sais that I am unmotivated since I don't study a lot and people from other places in the world are going to laugh at me and take my jobs. He has also called me retarted or stupid from time to time since i seem to argue with him about the pressure he puts on me. I got a 91 on my English midterm and he sais I'm "Slacking." I am two years ahead in math and a year ahead in science, being in 10th grade and taking Chemistry and Pre-Calculus. I am in the top five of my grade, and I take all honors classes available. Who do you think is right? Is my dad putting more pressure on my than he should for a 15 year old or should I study harder?

Answer 1

91 is an A right? Most of the schools I went to used the ten point system, so I think it is. Next time tell him you got an A. Hopefully that will keep him happy. Well, if he doesn't ask questions like what the percent was.
If you're getting straight A's, understand the material, and take honors classes, what you're doing works for you.
My mom used to do something similar to me. She says that she was trying to motivate me or some crap. To me, it just felt like nothing I did was good enough. Your dad may have different motives or issues of his own. I don't know him, obviously, but calling one's child stupid isn't motivation. The name calling is the thing that really worries me. But apparently some people think otherwise. I had a question in a class once and a teacher actually said it was a stupid question in front of everyone. People. Geez. (I made a question about it, so it's in my profile/questions if you want to be flabbergasted just a bit more today.)
Good luck and keep up the good work!!!

Answer 2

Let me put it like this:

A kid who's failing, with mostly F's and one D his parents will only see it realistic to push him to at least a C- or maybe a D+ (unless they are really that radical) because they KNOW what he may be capable of unless he proves otherwise.

YOU:

You claim to be a straight A student and take honor classes whenever avalaible. Yet your father thinks a 91% is 'slacking' (which English is highly rated 'hate subject' as you may know) Your father is probably that way because he KNOWS you are capable of achieveing the highest of anyone in your grade or the school. He believes that you are purposely not trying hard enough to reach that achievement.

This does not justify his actions but if you look at it from his point of view you'll see then why he tells you those things. Pressure of course is a major factor for succeeding or failing. like the old saying 'I do good under pressure' or vise versa. He might also think that if he pressures you more he'll get you to work your way up to a 4.0 (which I don't doubt you already have)

I think that you might one time sit down with your dad and tell him how these things are bothering you and that if he doesn't stop you might just one day 'snap' and literally have all the concentration/ motivation drained from you. I know how silly that sounds but sometimes strong emphasis on the words will benefit one to 'hear you' when they are being stubborn. Trust me i've seen people like your dad.

Tell him that he is negatively 'targeting' that motivation by calling you names and putting you down when you've already achieved so much. Some times it just takes a good reminder TO PARENTS that you must be grateful for having so much in your child already and not to spoil it by 'wanting more'.

Answer 3

Just remember your dad is pushing you because he loves you. Could you have done better than the 91 in English? Your dad probley has some reservations about what he did as a teenager and "if" he had just put in more effort he could have done better. Sadley most of us parents assume our children are going to make the same mistakes that we did. The hounding comes from that fear. We just want better for you guys. Keep trying as your doing, you sound like you are doing well. Let your dads words roll off your back like water because you know inside if you are doing the best that you can. Sounds like you have 2 years left in school, then you can move out go to college, start working what ever you want to do with your life. Remember as long as your dad is footing the bill (living under his house, letting him pay for your college or helping you with ren at your own place) he has the right to voice his opinion.

Answer 4

Im in 10th grade too. My sister didnt make one B her whole high school career so my mom expects me to do the same. Ive already gotten 3 B's and my mom gives me the same speech your dad gives you. Ive talked to my mom the same way youve talked to your dad, but the truth is they'll never really understand.

I am not a bookworm like my sister, and I dont want to be. Like you, I want to have fun in highschool and I am doing what I want. I honestly dont care what my mom says anymore- its making you stronger that your dad is putting so much pressure on you and you shouldnt take what he has to say literaly anymore. I am taking the classes you are taking now, next year when I am a Junior- you are making straight A's and in the top 5th of your class- you are going to get into any college you want and you are have a social life- the best of both worlds. So when you do get into Harvard you can shove it into your Dad's face :)

I'm guessing that you had a high enough grade in English to still get an A even though you got a very high A on your exam. Dont let your Dad phase you- you are doing great- straight A's is really impresive.

Answer 5

In my opinion, both you and your dad are right. See, you are doing incredible for a 10th grader in school. Your dad is just trying to make sure you get far in the world. So I recommend that you calmly talk to your dad about the pressure he puts on you and talk to him about how well you really are doing. Maybe even go so far as to get some recommendations or notes from teachers saying how well you are doing. Prove to him in a mature way that you are doing well. He will respect this more than if you scream,"You're putting too much pressure on me!" So, when he starts to tell you that you are slacking or unmotivated, show him how mature you are by not arguing and calmly talking to him about how he's hurting your feelings and how he's putting too much pressure on you. And make sure(if you want to, that is) that you have a couple notes from teachers saying you're doing well. And don't flash them in his face and say,"Haha! I've got proof!" Be mature. I had this problem, and I talked to my parents and they stopped pressuring me and they let me have a life. So, take my advice. Talk to your dad. But the most important thing is be mature and calm, and don't argue or scream.

Answer 6

I think that your dad is pretty dumb to not congratulate you on your accomplishments and to say "well done". You seem like a pretty good kid, and the fact that he is harping on what you lack instead of what you have attained is tragic.

Make the grades for yourself and at the end of the day if you feel good about your work, then take pride in that. One day, you will stand on your own two feet, get your diploma, and walk into the world knowing that you are an adult now and can hang up on your father.

Until then, you need to respect him as your parent, but you should also still continue to stand your ground. At your age, I had to have imaginary head phones to tune out the comments my parents made. Just don't give up or push yourself too hard to where you burn out. He'll one day say he's proud of you, but until then, know that you should be proud of yourself.

Answer 7

You are working quite hard, your dad would be correct if you were failing, or even getting 70's but if you are in the top 5 ranks, you are doing very well. Unless your plan is to eventualy be a nuclear physicist or something amazing like that you are better than fine, you are way ahead of most people. You should confront your dad about this and if he doesnt listen, listen to yourself and push yourself as far as you want to go. Control your own life, dont let your dad do it.

Answer 8

Well sometimes parents want so much for our children to be very prepared for the world and the best way is education, but i think parents can push a bit hard , if you think there is too much pressure on you and that its just to much you have to speak to him honestly. I mean there has got to be a balance between study and play if you know what I mean.
good luch and by all means keep up the GREAT work.

Answer 9

The way what i have read your question your father sounds a bit abusive.

But he could be thinking of your future interests but is taking it to the next level. Is your mum around? if so have a chat to her about or a close relative/friend that can talk to your dad because this will eventually distance you from your father.

Get them to explain that you are doing good and that it will get you into the collage you want to get into. And when you get into collage you will knukle down to be the best or what ever - (because at collage - he wont see how much you study if you move away).

Answer 10

For every hour you study give youself a reward (: or pretend that if you don't do well on the test your boyfriend/bestfriend will never talk to you again . GET OFF OF YAHOO ;D good luck with your test !