would anyone end a marriage becasue of this?

Question

Would anyone end a marriage becasue when you demand a person gives up smoking they say no?

Ok let me add to this. The same demand was made before being married that they wouldn't be with me unless i did, so I said yes, becasue i didn't want to lose them. But have since starting to have HUGE fights smoked. BUT, so does he, but apparently its ok bec he never vowed, and in actual fact its apparently my fault he does and that I dont care about him and am killing him bec I never made him stop

Answer 1

I wouldn't demand a person to do anything
and i'd expect the same in return
if they're gonna smoke i'd tell them to go
in another room or outside.

Answer 2

This has to be one of the most aothetic questions I have read
this person smokes so what it is there life if they smoke outside and are not bloe\wing into your face then what is your problem. Maybe if you stop harassing them they will stop.
Haven't you ever continued to do something just because someone tells you not to. This is a habit and is known buy most to be harder to quit then heroine or cocaine so maybe give him an ultimatum tell him that the smoking really worries
you because you want to spend a long life with him, and if they stop smoking you will give the more time in the sac as a reward? Just a thought sometimes people continue doing something because they lack the desire to quit because maybe it helps them with something else they may be lacking in the relationship?
Reasons for divorce are as follows:
Adultery#1
Abuse verbal/physical#2
irreconcilable differences
Disrespect for ones feelings
Treating like a slave#3
Falling out of Love#4
Unhappiness#5
Fighting all the time!
Stops caring
Over bearing and controlling behavior
Jealousy to an extreme
Can't TRUST THEM
Dishonesty
Becomes addicted to Porn
Goes out with old buddies and doesn't invite you possibly gaucking at other women or going to strip clubs.

Answer 3

Well, not necessarily. I guess it depends on whether or not the person started smoking after the marriage, and whether or not the person who hates the smoking made it clear how much they hated it beforehand.

If you married someone who smoked already, hoping they'd quit afterwards, that was a bad choice.

Maybe you can compromise. Make it so they can only smoke outside. No kisses with cigarette breath, et cetera.

If it's really upsetting to you, you might seek counseling.

Answer 4

This is a lot like buying a used car with no tires and then insisting that they put new ones on 6 months after you've purchased it!! If you knew he smoked when you married, and still married him... it's kind of hard to divorce him for the behavior you saw as acceptable enough to be with him. Can't have it both ways!

For me, smoking is a deal-breaker and I would not marry someone on a suicide installment plan-- slow, slow self killing.

Answer 5

Perhaps if you made a request rather than a demand, you may be more successful. However, if this was a habit before marriage, then it will continue. One can only do something they CHOOSE to do, not because they MUST, or because another wants them to.
Wow another reason to the already insurmountable reasons stacked up in favor of divorce. Please dont marry. Marriage comes with many strings.....likes, dislikes, issues, agreements, disagreements, habits, addictions, all sorts of problems that MUST be worked thru, if one EVER intends to remain married.

Answer 6

My husband told me before we got married that he didnt want a smoker wife. I said okay I will quit. I found it really hard to quit, and would smoke behind his back. He would travel for work, so I would smoke while he was out of town. Last year in April he found out I was smoking - again....and was very upset. We were not getting along, and then I had an emergency happen where I had to have surgery(not smoking related), and that brought us close again. So I said I will not smoke, and havent since. The person "demanding" you to quit smoking is not trying to control you, they want you to live a long and healthy life because they love you.

Answer 7

First of all, you cannot "demand" another person to do anything. They are not your child. My question is this...did the person smoke when you married or was this a habit that was picked up after the "I do"? If it was know that they smoke before you married, then you cannot expect to change them just because you want to. And, you'll never get anything making a demand.

Answer 8

if they want to end a marriage because you are concerned about them dropping dead from lung cancer... the marriage is doomed anyway.
before you get divorced, hid your assets and money... wait a couple of years and then file... then they get half of dick

Answer 9

I feel that way about drinking too much so maybe it's the same deal different habit.

Answer 10

no that is not a good reason for divorce. You could stop kissing them, sleep in a different room. but not divorce. they need support in quitting not rejection.