pregnant with no support from the father. all i get is anger and aggression. how can i get through to him?

Question

i am 8wks pregnant. i was with the father for just under a yr. we broke up & now i found out im pregnant. right from the start he was hostile, angry n completely impossible to approach with any option other than i termination. i am not supportive of a termination, but he sees no other option than this, refuses to communicate in any other manner than anger.
i would really appreciate some help from women that have been in a similar situation or that just may have advice on what way i should approach this to create a more possitive circumstances with our situation. thanks

Answer 1

Back away from him, you do not need the aggravation right now.

Be silent, and carry on with your pregnancy. In the last trimester, get together with the D.A.'s Child Support department to set up child support.
Let him fight the courts to say he is not the child. If DNA is ordered and it is proven the child is his...he will owe you.

I raised my first son from pregnancy to birth by myself. I walked away from him, and now he wishes he hadn't been a jerk to me.
You can do it too. Make him have the regrets,not you.
Good luck Hon.

Answer 2

I was in this situation almost exactly. My son's father lives four states away, though. I pushed and pushed to make him want to be a part of his life, and after a year, he decided he wanted a DNA test and now I get child support, but I have to send my son four states away for a week out of every three months, and we have to share the travel and travel expenses. It was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I don't want his money or his time, I just want my son back. I am now married to my best friend from high school, and we are expecting our second baby, and I am so scared that my 2 1/2 year old will feel different from her because he has to go visit his "biological" father every three months.
My advice is, if you can, leave him alone, and make him forget about all this. He sounds very immature and not ready to be a father. I know you are emotional and think that your baby will need his father, but chances are, you will do just fine, probably better without him. If I had it to do all over again , I would have told me ex that I had an abortion, and raised my son on my own. Hope that helps, and good luck- I know how hard it is. Lean on family and friends, that is what they are there for.

Answer 3

I'm not taking up for him, but he's probably scared. Men have a tendancy to react with anger when they don't know how to handle a situation. Give him a little time and hopefully he'll come around. If not, turn to your family or friends for support. If he refuses to accept the situation, then move on and start a new life with your precious baby. Maybe if he's acting this way now, you'll be better off in the long run without him in your life. I hope everything works out well for you! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Sorry sweetie that you have been treated that way, being pregnant is scary enough. If he doesn't want to be part of this miracle then you CAN do it alone. There are many resources available and I am sure that here are many people who love you and this baby. You just need to do what is good for you and this baby right now. There is always a chance he might change his mind. I applaud you for keeping it, good choice. you have been given a gift that a lot of women don't get. God will honor you for keeping it. Good luck and God bless you sweetie.



I agree with Mommy, chose the happy route.

Answer 5

Well as a divorced parent of two with an angered ex,here is some solid advice.
Stay away from him...he has done his "damage" to your self esteem and so on...and he has gotten you pregnant, ttc or not, and he is angry about having to face the music.
So wait until the baby is born then take him to court and get visitation and support set up. Then you do not have to deal with him at all.
If he is angry then they will give him supervised visits and you meet in a special place, like mcdonalds. If he is angry then you don't need this. you are raising a little bean in there and you need to be healthy for yourself!

Court will take care of it for you without you having to do anything with your ex.

Answer 6

Honestly if all he can do is be angry u dont need him nor the baby.Its not healthy for u or the baby. It is hard being a single mom but there are places to get help if you need it also. Yes he should be a man but not everyone is in the situation. Good luck

Answer 7

Hi,
In my opinion i would not terminate the baby unless that is what you really want to do. Just because he is angry etc, you can still be a kloving mother and bring up your beautiful child by yourself. At least you had the decency of telling him you are pregnant with his child.

In future he may come around, who knows.

You have to relax and try not to worry. You and your baby come first now.

Good luck

Carla

Answer 8

I was in a similar situation. I choose the happy route. Let him keep his negative energy and me a beautiful baby. I raise 2 kids with no child support. We are very happy.. and no crazy ex's around

Answer 9

It takes two to make a baby, the courts will hold him responsible for child support. You'll probably have to get a court ordered DNA test, but when you become further along contact a lawyer about how to best make sure your child gets everything her sperm donor owes her.

Answer 10

hi-I was in this same situation.
and even still when baby came along.
you just need to let him work things out in his head for himself.
I tried everything I could think of..nothing worked. & I was miserable all through my pregnancy. it was supposed to be a happy time--and man, it just stunk.

my baby is 8 weeks now and I think he has finally started coming around.
I just want to say--if he continues like this-get out and away from him for a while- it wont get any better until he can come to terms with it.--and he needs to do that on his own, in his own way.--
you dont need to go through this now--especially this early. it isnt healthy for you or that baby.