Okay I've been dating off and on with this guy for the past two year. The sex is great but we never get along outside the sex most of the time. He was sent to jail for a one year sentence before he went in we wasn't on good terms but ever since he been in there, he's a total sweetheart. He told me he loved many timesm when he was out, before he was sentenced but when I hear him say it now I keep thinking its just jail house love. How would I be able to find out if he really does love me or not? Please help me i'm so lost. P.S I really do love this guy alot I just need to know is it the same way with him or is it the jail house talking.
2007-03-21 10:42:23 · 3 answers · asked by Baby C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well i think that you can do better for yourself for a start, what do you want to be involved for in the 1st place....he's locked up!!!! What are you getting from it???
You say that it has been on/off for a couple of years, why no commitment??, is that his desicion or yours...be honest.
Also, are you WAITING for him, yknow not dating or seeing anyone else while he is in prison.
This guy seems to know that you are wrapped in him, on his little finger, there's no chase for him, just clicking of fingers.
Of course if he is inside then he doesnt like the thought of you out there, free to date and whatever else, so he wants to keep you hanging, i would seriously have the conversation with him about dating and not waiting. It may seem romantic to wait, but for what, he gets out, it doesnt work out and you'll feel crap again.
Get your own life sorted, go have fun, meet people and then when he's out, pick up again where you left off, but don't be at his beck and call !!!!!
As far as love goes, this guy needs to sort his life out too, what can he offer you, he has no respect for himself if he ends up in prison, or others, love is more than words, he needs to prove his love with actions, and thats not gonna happen while he is in prison....go have a life and see what you are missing, when he is out, you will have experienced more and then you can see what he has to offer.
Good luck.
2007-03-21 11:05:16 · answer #1 · answered by natc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you said in your question...""The sex is great but we never get along outside the sex most of the time. "" is a complete red flag to me.
When a relationship is based on sex only, it is not a solid foundation on which to build upon.
I imagine (coming from a guys point of view) he is probably feeling a few things at the moment...
1. Sorry for what he did to land him in jail
2. Sorry he no longer can do whatever he wants
3. Probably some loneliness (no friends or g/f)
Here is one way you can test him to find out if he really loves you, or just loves what you give him (sex). Sit down with him (probably after he gets out) and tell him you want to deepen the relationship and want to hold off on any sexual activity for the next, say, 30 days or 60 days or whatever you think is best. For 2 reasons.
1. This will allow the 2 of you to focus on each other and not each others bodies.
2. If he really DOES love you, this will not be that big a deal to him.
Good luck!
2007-03-21 11:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's jail, baby. If your relationship was so great- if he was so in love with you, why have you been on again off again? Love is how you treat someone, not how you feel. How does he treat you? Is he "lovin" anyone else?
2007-03-21 11:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by l e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋