I need some advice ...?

Question

I am very deeply in love with my (soon to be) ex husband. The problem with this is a little over 2 months ago (Jan 20), he hit me worse than he had ever before. He threw me on the ground and starting throwing punches, and when I screamed for help, he tried to strangle me. He had been hitting me for a year. Whenever I pissed him off, he would hit things or me, yell at me, degrade me in every way possible. On my birthday, he punched me in the stomach and spit on my face, calling me a worthless whore. But, despite all this, I loved him. That night (Jan 20) I called the cops, and he was arrested and taken to jail. I thought it would be the end of it, but I was wrong. After a while, we started talking again and I realized that he had changed. He had turned into something better than I ever thought he could be, and my love for him grew deeper. Over the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about getting back together, but I always seemed to back out at the last minute ...

I was scared history would repeat itself. Then I realized that he was no longer the angry man I had always known. He was loving, caring, and very sincere. He would spend the night and just hold me (and take care of our daughter so I could sleep) But, right after I said yes this time, vowing to help him change and to change myself (I have depression and I think I’m also bi-polar), he says he has to think about some things. The next day he tells me that he doesn’t want to live in fear of snapping one day and hurting me again. Fear of going back to jail; fear of snapping and hurting our daughter (though I doubt he is capable of it) This all happened after I talked him into going on a date with a friend of his who is very interested in him. Now he tells me she’s a lesbian and a good friend, nothing more. I don’t know what to believe. I poured my heart out to him today, telling him that I love him and that I want to try again.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to help him change. I want nothing more than to be with him again and to feel loved by him. We ended up getting into a fight over it, and now we are back to not talking again. It kills me not to talk to him. To keep myself from calling him, I have to take his number out of my phone. I love him, but it seems like he doesn’t care anymore. He makes up excuses of reasons not to be with me, tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore. But when I ask him if he really means it (because I know it will help me get over him if it’s true) he says no, that he does love me.

So, my question is, what should I do? Move on with my life and try to find someone else, or try to make him understand what I’m trying to say?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry honey. He has a lot of work to do. Don't push him into a dangerous place. (in your home). If nothing else for your daughters sake keep him at a distance.

The man carries a lot of hate/hurt and it is sad but realize that it takes a lot of personal work to overcome that and he is on the right track to do his personal work. O X O X

Answer 2

he is bad news you need some one better a abusive person gets worse