My fiancee (boyfriend) has been going on about us getting married at the end of this year which i am happy with but theres one problem he doesn't seem interested in looking at prices or even giving me an idea of what sorta thing he wants, I feel like i am the only one interested. So last night i told him how i felt and he said he will in his own time but he has a habit of of leving everything to the last minute and i end up arrangeing it or buying prsents cards etc. If he really wants us wed by the end of this year why is he not willing to help as i will be the bride i want it to be the happiest day i have ever had and something we can do together for once. I know the brides parents are supposed to help but my parents wont as my mum died my dad abandoned me and my brother and sister dont even like us being engaged. When i say it wont happen this year if he dont help he just said i shattered his hope? I dont understand this as i think like i am gonna be left to arrange it.
2007-03-21 10:27:12 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why is he being like this?
2007-03-21 10:27:34 · update #1
We have both been looking at a really cheap wedding then save up for a nice week away or something. But i dont have the time he has between 2-4 days off a week and i only have 1 day off a week and that is Sundays so not much is open. I'm not pushing but i dont feel like i will enjoy it if i am the only one who makes the decisions he hasn't even looked at rings. I have started getting prices as i work for our local council so i find it easier to contact the registrars as they are on our email system.
2007-03-21 10:47:20 · update #2
men just don't get as excited as women do over these things. i have been married 2 times and though i loved both the women i was and am married to i really didn't get that excited over any of it. hell i have three kids and really didn't get excited of them either. and they r the loves of my life. so it's just a man thing. and the guys that do get all emotional over these things is prolly gay.
2007-03-21 10:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to say what he's feeling right now. Cold feet perhaps? It also depends on many things too. Some people are just not planners, but still want to get married. I got married with just a justice of the peace and saved all our money for spending on our honeymoon vacation instead! It was a fantastic vacation too. Perhaps he's not as interested in the wedding day as you are, and if you maybe wanted to work out the "size" of the wedding with him as well as your honeymoon plans, then the mood may change?
If you assume your going to arrange the whole wedding you may want to get a clear "yes" or "no" answer to if he agrees on that approach first. I'm a very black and white person, and don't like surprises myself so just get a feel for what kind of person he is on this.
Congratulations, and I hope this all works out for you!
2007-03-21 17:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by bigchargersfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should take the bull by the horns, book up the Registry Office, book yourself some holiday, get your partner to book some time off by telling him you've arranged a surprise break for you both, if you've got a couple of best friends who will be discreet, let them know what you're doing and ask them to be witnesses. You'll be the best judge as to when to tell your man what you've done, but getting married is about the 2 of you, wanting to be together cos you love each other. Don't let it get out of hand for the sake of others, keep it simple and relatively inexpensive. It's not about how much money you can or should spend, it's about love and commitment for a lifetime.
2007-03-22 02:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Squarepants 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being this way because he is a guy, that you don't understand that and want more is your problem not his.
He doesn't want to help with the detail for two reasons:
1) he doesn't really care which is to be expected
2) he knows that you only think you want the help, you will not really consider anything he wants or change it anyway so why waste the time.
You are being unrealistic in expecting him to help, and foolish to push him on the matter. All you are doing is setting yourself up for him to realize who and what you really are and not want to get married.
2007-03-21 17:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to organise all my wedding myself, if I had left it to my husband we would not be married now. Don't worry to much but make sure you have everything you want for your big day. Tell him that if he doesn't get his butt into gear you ensure that everything on the day is what you like and you will invite all your friends but not his as that is his job. Men I'm afraid some just like to sit back while you do all the work.
2007-03-21 17:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean but also have in mind that men don't care as much as we do about details. Besides, a man following a big commitment like that give him a break, to be a man and getting married talk about a challenge.
2007-03-21 17:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember when I got married. everyone seemed to be fussing round getting ulcers over things like tablecloth colours, seating plans, flowers, whether to have the church bells ring etc etc etc.
It didn't seem important to me because I would have been perfectly happy without all the frills.
Ask him what kind of a wedding he wants - maybe he just wants a really simple one.
2007-03-21 17:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by Higlet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he isn't helping you right now doesn't mean that he is not interested or that he is confused. Maybe he just wants you to do everything, so that it comes out the way you would like it to. Men and women have different tastes.
I'm sorry that your family won't help you. Maybe you should ask his side of the family for advice and help...
2007-03-21 17:34:04 · answer #8 · answered by Jainis H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid that it's a man thing. My husband is exactly the same. Won't get involved with Christmas shopping because it's "too early" and then a week before goes into a panic because it "crept up on him".
I just don't think they like organising things like this - their sense of time is different from ours.
2007-03-21 17:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Rachael H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋