2007-03-21 10:26:49 · 9 answers · asked by Just A Newbie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, i have..........we were seperated but still married. And it was both. The seperation alone came as a real surprize to both of us but it happened. It taught us both lessons and made us realize how much we really do love one another but to be honest, it almost killed me when i found out. A real eye opener. Forgiving is not an easy thing to do but you should be set on it before making the move with your loved one or its not going to work. Bringing up the past at every turn or reliving it over and over will only cause more problems in your relationship. Throwing it in one's face only causes resentment, even if they were wrong. If you are both sure you love one another, then it will be worth the trouble and the pain it cost. If you are married, you must remember marriage is a lot of work, its what you get through that makes a strong marriage, not what you've been through. There are many reasons why people cheat but i have found out most people regret it. I needed some answers but didnt push. I forgave first, moved back home and took it one day at a time. It was very uncomfortable, there was a lot of wondering and the trust issue was none, so it made it very difficult for me. There is a time and place for everything and taking things slowly can be a plus. Now sometimes we can have small chats about what happened and sometimes we can chuckle about the mistakes that were made but its a very sensitive subject and of course an unpleasent one. When i tread, i tread small and slow, not wanting to cause any arguements, thats very important to me, after all it is done and over with and there is nothing we can do to change what has already happen.......Its leaving my system slowly and thing are getting easier for me, took a good six months before i was totally comfortable again, but its a one time deal, i wont go through it again, i will hold my head high and walk on. I have prayed and still do pray a lot to focus only on the good things i have back in my life, i always remember things happen for a reason even if it does'nt make sense......Good Luck
2007-03-21 11:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet J 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely. My wife had an affair a couple years back that lasted 8 months. It was the hardest thing for me to live with. But I listened to her and we decided to work it out. Our relationship is better now than it has been in a long time. It took much counselling, crying, yelling, and a lot of work. There is help out there if you need it. I found a great book called, "His needs, her needs" by William Harley. He wrote a follow up dealing with the after affects af on affair. I think it was called, "What to do after an affair"... something like that. There is also a good website at www.marriagebuilders.com Any marriage is worth saving and if both partners are willing, it should be given a chance.
2007-03-21 10:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes,
Lets be adults. Think about what you are saying if you cannot forgive. Think about what it says about you. Then think about how many times you may be forced to make that same decision if you decide that you must break or split from everyone who "cheats" on you. Maybe, you should ask, why would they cheat on you.
Also, there is great power in forgiveness... just think of all the "get out of jail free" cards you get when you do. You no longer have to be "Perfect"! Let your hair down and have fun. Maybe the person will suddenly have no reason to cheat any more.
Yes, men in general keep looking, but it's only when something changes that they act on that instinct. No guy cheats on a new girl-friend or wife. Why is that?
2007-03-21 10:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by Melvin 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, if the person is truly remorseful for their actions and/or they made a one-time mistake. Even if the person had an affair because of problems in their relationship, if the person is willing to make the relationship work and rebuild the trust they have broken, it can be worthwhile to take them back. Unfortunately this is all too often not the case.
2007-03-21 10:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES!!!!
My ex of 18 years ago and I reunited 2 years ago. We split up because BOTH of us had problems with fidelity, and we were just both to immature to make things work. We used to fight and argue constantly and do all we could to hurt the other.
Going on 3 years after we are back together and we are completely devoted to each other. We haven't even had a serious argument. I'm happier than I ever have been in my life!
2007-03-21 10:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by TJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i forgave in the past, and they kept cheating on me anyway no matter what. personally once they cheat and lie, whats left in the relationship, because without trust u have no relationship. why set yourself up for more heartache from this person. if they loved u they never would have cheated in the first place.
2007-03-21 10:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nevr, never, never...once they cheat on you...they have already lost the respect needed for you to be in a healthy relationship. They were able to justify doing it the first time and they will do it again. Your relationship needs to be OVER!
2007-03-21 11:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they show regrets and repentance--over a long time too.
2007-03-21 10:30:05 · answer #8 · answered by Elder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We've never had to face this issue. Thank God.
2007-03-21 10:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋