Nobody loves me
Nobody cares
Nobody picks me peaches and pears
Nobody listens and laughs at my jokes
Nobody offers me candy or cokes
Nobody helps me when I'm in a fight
Nobody does my homework at night
So if you ask me who my best friend is
In a with I'll stand up and say nobody is
But one night I got a quit scare
I woke up and nobody was their
I reached and called out in the dark
Where nobody usually stands
I poked through the house
Looking in each crenny and nook
And found somebody every where I looked
With a swan nobody was gone.
2007-03-21 10:09:09 · 26 answers · asked by +peace*grenade+® 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
yes. i am still in middle school.
2007-03-21 10:19:07 · update #1
REVISED VERSION. I THINK THIS ONE IS BETTER> WHAT DO U THINK?
Nobody loves me,
Nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at me jokes.
Nobody helps when I get in a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy.
So if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz,
I'll stand up and tell you that Nobody is.
But yesterday night I got quite a scare,
I woke up and Nobody just wasn't there.
I called out and reached out for Nobody's hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands.
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found somebody each place that I looked.
I searched till I'm tired, and now with the dawn,
There's no doubt about it-
Nobody's gone!
2007-03-21 10:35:59 · update #2
Pretty good!
2007-03-21 10:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...thats really good! You should enter a contest or something...you might win some $$$! The revised edition is MUCH better, you spaced it out, and fixed some mistakes like "crenny" and "their". Oh, and it's good that you took out the swan part. Personally, I like it. It's catchy.
⤠Cali Girl
2007-03-28 17:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by je suis mode 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem of sort. Good idea. Nobody is gone when somebody is there. Time keeper clock in love with Mr. Nobody.
2007-03-29 17:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by sensekonomikx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I preferre the second version but, yeah it is very good!
I like that you spelled there-their. Nice touch. I don't know if this was an error...but, I would leave it. It gives it an ironic quirk. Keep writing and please post again! I really enjoyed this poem alot!
2007-03-29 09:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by sistermarybella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The revised version is much much better. Nice play on words.
2007-03-29 14:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lady M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked the revised version--pretty clever
2007-03-29 16:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wonerful. Writing is a great expression. If you don't keep a journal you might give it a try. Just write what you think or feel.
2007-03-29 10:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by alikilee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was extremely good. It is better than most of the poeams I graded during my student teacher class I had. The bad thing is they were seniors.
2007-03-28 18:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by rexawilt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like it, it is very interesting how you used the word nobody like that. I really like this type of poetry!! Good job!
2007-03-29 00:18:31 · answer #9 · answered by ~Lucky~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! u write that?? its really good!! i dont quite get the last line, with a swan nobody was gone, but ur really good!!
2007-03-29 11:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The revision...very good!
I'll give you a star for that.
2007-03-29 02:31:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋