my husband and i have been married for 6 months, at first sex was great! but all of a sudden it has taken a sharp decline. He can only last about 2 minutes, i am always initiating sex. and he doesn't try to reciprocate. he just pleases himseld and falls a sleep. i have tryied to talk to him about this, it has been 2 months now, and all he can say is that he is stressed out. i am feel aweful because everytime i try to initiate anything he either laughs or takes care of himself. i threatened to get a boyfriend and he doesn't want that but he won't talk to me to evne try, what si the deal??
2007-03-21 09:52:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
6 months and he dont want to have sex with you, you marry the wrong guy, dump him or you will have a unhappy life. i wonder why did he married you?
2007-03-21 10:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's immature and obviously is having some kind of performance anxiety and doesn't know how to deal with it like an adult. You shouldn't EVER have threatened to get a boyfriend that will only make the sitauation worse. You need to build him up by saying you want him...shower him with compliments and tell him how much you need him and only him. I would drop the subject for a few weeks and just give the whole sex issue a rest. Then after things have settled down a bit and he doesn't think you're gonna freak out on him, have an honest heart to heart about it. DON'T try to talk after you attempt to have sex with him. Go have a picnic at the park or after a nice outing together and then bring it up when you're not feeling desperate or angry. Maybe he'll open up when he's not feeling pressured.
If you can't work on it alone - maybe you guys need some marriage counseling. But start with some good ol fashioned non-threatening communication. You love each other - don't become enemies.
2007-03-21 17:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's bored. And you must be too, if you are thinking of getting a boyfriend.
You need to go to counselling. NOW! while you still care. If he won't go, go alone.
Marriage is about compromise, friendship, giving, support, comfort, mutual interests, shared memories, and lively sex.
If you are friends, you wouldn't be thinking about destroying your relationship, just for sex with someone else. You would insist that your husband go with you for help.
If You both were giving supportive, compromising, and comforting, he could turn to you, and YOU to him for your needs. No boyfriend needed here.
If you have mutual interests you could help him DO something to de-stress. He could learn to do something new.
NOT sex, golf or cooking, or snow-boarding- anything you can do together.
You can make shared memories, by ging to a bed-and breakfast for a weekend or horse-back-riding.
Chances are, he is depressed, and needs meds or therapy or both. He does not need a cheating spouse, every time you hit a bump!
What will you do when he has a heart-attack/gall-bladder surgery/ cancer and is bed-ridden for months. Line up the men?
Maybe he figures all you want is sex, and he is bored senseless. Maybe he is giving at the office?
I feel sorry for both of you.
2007-03-21 17:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could be really too stressful. But for couple married for only 6 months and can't compromise on sex is quit rare. Most men enjoy sex, and alot of men only last 2 minutes. But it's the attitude and behaviour towards sex that court. I don't think get a boyfriend is rational enough, unless you want a failure marriage. But if he still won't change his attitude against you, you should really consider left him.
2007-03-21 22:12:41 · answer #4 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can guess both of your sex life is great before marriage I think... its a very common issue now esp in Singapore for young couples. Hubby tends to have lesser sex than before. Don't feel sad over it. Try find a chance and talk to him on it. Or think of other kinky ways to let him find its interesting... eg using a sex toy or change new position or etc...
2007-03-21 23:57:20 · answer #5 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a touchy subject for a man but girl you have to switch it around and get yours weather it be on top or however and i had to do it to so i start with holding sex from him like the nights he really want it i turn over and go to sleep and it goes on for a few days and when he finally got it he trie to blow my back out so try that a few times and no matter how horny you get dont ask him for none and act normal and that will blow his mind then he will get back to the way it use to be
2007-03-21 17:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be shy. I know I was at first. then I had a very frank discussion with my partner. I was suprised to find out that the things I really wanted to do to satisfy her ,were the very things she wanted. I wont go into graphic detail, but as a woman you know what you want. i found that my partner needed kissing petting whispers in her ear telling her how pretty and sexy she is. Then she became aroused , and i let her guide me to what she wanted. Somestimes guys are just too shy to explore there partner. Talk with him and tell him in detail what you want. If he loves you and is concerned with your pleasure, he will respond to you needs.
2007-03-21 17:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by zanzabarr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad your husband can't SEE he is ruining your sex life and pushing you away.
Maybe he is stressed. Most stressed men can't get it up though.
I'd try one more time talking to him and let him know it will be the last talk, then................go get you a boyfriend.
2007-03-21 16:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This does not sound good or normal.
You have to remember...guys like to feel like Men....so who is he feeling like a man with?
2007-03-21 16:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF U R IN CHENNAI JUS TRY ME >>>>> THAT WILL BE GREAT..... peter_sen@rediffmail.com
2007-03-21 16:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Peter S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋