A "middle school "girl" problem"?

Question

I know this isn't reall the type of thing to ask on the internet, but I'm just looking for some advice. Ok, so I have this friend, Lacey, and she is really making me dread going to school. She is SUPER SMART. She always is telling people how she got the highest grade in algebra, but when she tells one of my other friends when I'm around, I feel like she is putting me down as well, because I'm not what you would call "smart". She got a new dog, and a blue iPod nano and rubbed it in my face. I mean, she is supposed to be my best friend!!! Is that how BFF's treat each other? She thinks me and everything I like is gay because I have a different clothe's style. I shop at Hollister and prep stores. I don't know where she shops at, but my cousins think its a Hollister wanna be shop. But anyway, she flirts with people who like me, and guys who are like my best friend, or at least thats how it looks. I don't know why she is treating me like this, I'm not ugly. What do you think I should do?????

Answer 1

She's not your friend. Dump her & find other friends who respect you.

Answer 2

You need to get a new friend. Lacey sounds like the competitive type, who is only happy when she is on top, and if necessary she's cut you down so she can stay that way. This isn't a real or healthy friendship.
She probably does it because she's really insecure, or unhappy at home, and this is the only way she knows to make herself feel worthwhile. Be happy you're not this messed up, and don't need to hurt other people to feel better. Leave her to herself, and go find better friends that will support you and like you as is.

Answer 3

u need to suck it up and face her you have to to tell her at some point u cant just live your life dreading skuel i love hollistore its so cool. you seem really cool who cares if she is smart that is kinda geekie in a way she should not be ur friend if she rubs it in your face next time just say ya know what im really getting sick of you bragging its a blue ipod everyone has it and who cares if i have a different style that is just who i am so stop making fun of it cause i think i rock and and no that isnt how bffs treat eachother she is treating you like this because she wants to get ya jelous and i think it is working so just ignore it okay thanks
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Answer 4

Well it certainly sounds ungracious of her to behave this way, but the chances are that she is really insecure. And I would bet, jealous of some of your good qualities. I know that you are not dumb, you expressed your problem very well, and some of the posts I see by teenagers any more are just atrocious in the spelling and grammer and such, but you put your thoughts together very well, so I know you're not nearly as dumb as you think you are. Don't let her try to make you insecure. Be who you are. No, that is not a way for BFF's to be to each other, not at all. I'm not saying that you shouldn't hang out with her, but it might do you good to get to know other kids at school, broaden your horizens. I can tell that you are a good kid, and only need to be yourself. Don't let her infect you with her insecurities. Do things that you do well more often so as to boost your self esteem. As for the things you don't do as well, study harder, do it a little better each time, and that will give you a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Find new things to explore, and new hobbies to develop your skills. Above all, know who you are, and be happy and confident in who that is. Best weapon of all for dealing with people like that. She is trying to bolster her self esteem at your expense. I'm going to give you a big word for it now. It is called Co-dependence. It doesn't make her a bad person, but it does make her kind of needy. I'll tell you a secret. I was one of the geeky girls in the corner in school. Mousy, quiet, put upon by kids who seemed to have it all, money, looks, clothes etc. I developed a personality first, because I didn't have the looks, and my parents couldn't afford nice clothes and stereos and stuff for me. When I got older, I developed my looks too. And got a job, and then I was able to get better clothes, and a car, and all this other stuff my family couldn't afford when I was in school. I explored, and read, and learned, and grew, and broadened my horizons, and got more confident, more sure of who I was, and happy about it. Then I went to the high school reunion 20 years later.
Guess what happened to some of the girls who seemed to have it all? Nothing. They didn't grow at all. They were still all about thier looks and stuck on other people's looks, and don't know how to look any deeper than that. As for careers, or accomplishments or whatever, well, some of them married well, and didn't have to work or whatever, but also didn't accomplish any thing, the didn't have to, and had no reason to develop themselves. Sad really, to see a 37 year old woman who has hardly grown since she was 17. I was sitting at the same table with one of these girls, listening to her talking about how pretty much all she does is work out and try to keep her self looking good, and I thought to my self, "Oh my God. This is one of the most boring people I have ever known in my life. I can't believe I ever looked up to her, or envied her, or anything like that" True story. 20 years gives alot of perspective on things, if you spend it on growing in the lovely and smart woman you will become. Don't spend your time worrying about it, and don't try to throw back at her what she is throwing at you, that's no good. Just be an example for her to follow, of an intelligent, mature, confident, gracious young woman. That is an example of what is called "Grace under fire".

Answer 5

just say "cool" to everything she rubs in. just be like indifferent. if you can show to her that nothing she says upsets you or makes you jealous, she will stop. i shop at hollister too and i see nothing wrong with it. i mean, the clothes are cute and affordable so why not? of course you're not ugly, there is no reason for you to think that. i think you should start hanging out with new people. get other friends besides her.

Answer 6

Lacey is in need of someone to kick, and your it; she does not know what friendship is and prooves it too you all day long, and you sit there and take it, like a true friend.

Lacey appears to have the need to put you down to prop herself up; it's a way to make her feel better as she feels bad about herself; does this sound possible to you?

Grown-ups can be just like this too so learn to avoid them when you get older.

Find another best friend as Lacey ain;t it buddy. Find someone to hang out with who is nice, cool, likes stuff you like and likes to talk about stuff you like....:)

Simply start hanging around someone who makes you feel good too.

Bye

Answer 7

i dont think that you should hang out with her anymore. That is not how friends treat eachother. It could be that she is jealous of you so she goes out and buys stuff and shows off in front of you. Do you get more attention then she does at school? If so that could be a reason why she is doing what she is doing and why she is jealous of you. If she throws things in your face like the iPod just tell her oh thats nice and move on. dont go crazy and say OH MY GOSH how cool.

Answer 8

My friend does the same thing. (im a freshmen in highschool) Not that extreme though.

It's because she's jealous of what you have or something. Thats what my mom says.

Have you tried talking to her about it? I would at least try and sort things out. NOT over the internet but in person. Just be like 'hey. i need to talk to you. i value our friendship and if you do to you'll hear me out'

Hope this helps!
Need someone to talk to? email me. =]

-Kaylee

Answer 9

I think you should stop talking to her and find some knew friends. She is not a good friend if she is treating you like that. Find some knew friends that would apprieate you better. If you don't want to do that you can always wait till you to are alone and tell her how you feel. But if it were me I would dump her.

Answer 10

She is soooo not a true friend. I used to have a friend like that. She was so fake, and she was always trying to make herself look better than me. She hated it when something good happened to me. Now, we don't even talk to each other. Anyways, if don't truly like her, hang out with your other friends, or make new friends.

Answer 11

Your friend sounds like she is insecure, and wants to "best" you in everything. If you want to still be in a friendship with her, say nothing and be patient. Once she sees she isn't getting a jealous reaction, she should change.