what do you do when your in a relationship but you are still in love with your x?

Question

i care 4 my boyfriend and all. he is really sweet but a part of me still miss my ex. like i still have feelings for him but we have not talked in almost 5 months.

Answer 1

I am dealing with this myself.
First, I think you need to evaluate whether or not you and your ex are really truly, and forever over. If you still see yourself with your ex in the distant future, it is unfair to continue a relationship with anyone else until you don't see him in your future.
Part of you will probably always love the ex. But if you are always thinking about him and comparing your new boyfriend to him, then it's probably a good idea to be alone for a while and see how it feels to just be with you.
After a tough break up, it's essential to your healing to spend time reflecting and recovering before you can truly give yourself to someone new.

Answer 2

I had the same problem. Fortunately for me, I stumbled upon a 'Dear Abby' letter asking the same thing. Abby replied with what should be obvious to us but we can't see it when our emotions get in the way. Your ex is your ex for a reason. While you may be fantasizing about all the good times you had and all the good qualities about him- there was a REASON you are no longer dating. Remind yourself of those reason- and remember that even if you had stayed together- things may have not always been lovey dovey- even you and your ex would eventually do the dinner TV's and sweatpants to bed routine, and go through money problems and balding at some point. It's more of what we can't have that really gets to us in the end- so we need to focus on what we DO have! Like my mom always said, don't give someone the time of day that wouldn't do it for you. Move on- and enjoy life!! :)

Answer 3

I am in the same rut. Except, my ex is my ex-fiance. I wrote down the reason why I'm not with him anymore and everytime I feel like going back - I re-read MY OWN reasons why that relationship doesn't fly anymore.

I had my faults and he had his. But it didn't work at the time. The reasons and subsequent "damages" to the relationship were enough for me to walk away.

I don't know if you can relate to that ...but it helped me.

As for your current boyfriend, why are you with him? And are those reasons sensible and ultimately good for you? Sometimes I don't even know the answers to those questions myself but it sure helps keeps me grounded and in a healthier relationship than what I had with my ex.

Your current boyfriend may not be the "One" but he's probably better than the "last". Good luck.

Answer 4

I think you owe it to your current boyfriend to just let the time pass and get over your ex. It's possible you got together with him too soon. People in exclusive relationships owe each other fidelity that is both physical and emotional.

If you can't get over your ex, then don't be with the current guy either. Nothing hurts like finding out you were a therapy or rebound relationship.

Answer 5

Therapy

Answer 6

well, part of breaking up is also moving on. you need to be totally straight foward with the guy that you are dating now.....but if you really like your x maybe you should tell him how you feel. thats one way to go with it, but another good one is just to move. if you see him myabe here and there say hi, but try to concentrate on your future and not your past. just follow your heart and just remember that God is with you and not to worry.

- B>B*

Answer 7

first you have to remember why the person is your ex, what made you all break up.
secondly you need to see if their feelings are mutual.
third you need to tell your current boyfriend so he's not left in the dark looking stupid.

Answer 8

I know its hard but you have to try to get over and move on, unless you know you can get back with your ex

Answer 9

ask yo boyfriend if its ok If u go and talk to you ex and then talk to him about how u dont like em no more!

Answer 10

Remember why your Ex is your Ex.