My mother wants me to get an abortion, although it is not really up to her. What shall I do?

Question

I told my mother I was planning to get married sooner than expected b/c I did not want a child out of wedlock. My father does not know that I even had sex before, further more find out that I am pregnant under his roof still. Guess what? He is a minister. If I have the child and still live here, he would not be able to be a minister, but would have to step down b/c of me. Any man that cant take care of his household is not suitable to take care of the church. But, I will be moving out, therefore I will be out of the house when baby is born. My mother really does not want me to marry the guy though b/c he does not come to worship only once and he is stubborn in his ways. Neither does she want me to have the baby, b/c my father after all believes I never had sex, further more be pregnant. I really want to have the baby and dont want an abortion. But I dont want to disappoint my father. My mother is already disappointed and father does not know. Please help..What should I do?

Answer 1

Well look at it this way; how old are you? Have you finished school, have you gone to college? Can you afford to take care of this child, does your soon-to-be husband have a good job, do you and your fiance have a descent place to live and the most important question; do you see yourself being married to this guy for at least the next 18 years?

Sounds like you've already had problems with him and you can't expect him to change, most likely he won't. You have to look out for the best interest of your child; can you afford to give him/her a descent chance at life with both parents being in the picture?

I can't tell you which way to go but keep these points in mind.

Chuck
http:/www.ebusinesswiz.com

Answer 2

Tell your mother this: An abortion is KILLING her grandchild and how can she, the wife of a minister, honestly suggest that you KILL the precious life God has entrusted to you. Shame on her! You're father won't have to step down...lots of preachers daughters have babies out of wedlock. It's not right, but it happens. The congregation will gossip awhile and then find something new to be appauled over. Keep your baby and IF you want to get married because you love the father do it. If you don't then don't do it until you do.

Answer 3

My first question is how old are you? I am a mom, a christian and an RN who works on maternity. Your father, if he is a true man of God, will forgive and still love his daughter and unborn grandchild. God gave us the ability to make choices and sometimes we make the wrong ones. If you are young (under 21) I would highly recommend that you have the baby but give it up for adoption. There are so many, many couples who cannot have babies that desperately want to have a family and you could make that dream come true. You cannot live in a bubble. Things get found out eventually. Mistakes get made and people get hurt but that little baby is depending on you whether you keep the babe or you bless a couple with a baby....it's wee little life is depending on you. I am sure your mom and dad wouldn't want you to have an abortion......abort their grandchild!!! Love and forgiveness go hand in hand. You need to apologize to your family for disappointing them but explain that God wouldn't ask you to abort His creation so you can't do that either. Raising a baby is a lifelong commitment and you need a tremendous amount of support....like family, that's why I asked you how old you were and suggested adoption also. A single mom is not an easy road.Find someone you can talk to for help, either from your church or another church/comm. center. Counselors can give you guidance and privacy. Please get under the supervision of a doctor for your care too. Your partner, the dad of the baby, needs to be in on all of this too as he also has rights and will be legally accountable if you decide to keep the baby. There is a lot to think about and pray about. Don't be alone, go and talk to someone you trust who can help you. Take care and I will pray for you.

Answer 4

First of all I know 2 daughters of ministers that have gotten pregnant and the ministers did not have to step down- because the churches had mercy- the girls and their bf's got up in front of the church and shared and we accepted them. You know something- I am a Christian- and of course you know that sex before marriage is wrong in God's eyes- but also remember that Christ died for the sins of the world. An abortion is another sin that you would heap on the first one- I know you know that already. Your mother should know that to be true. How does God feel about that child that you are carrying? Precious in His sight!!! Taking the life of your child to hide having sex from your dad, is what people would call the easy way out- but honey, it isnt. You will never forget taking the life of your child. Plus , does your mom know that there are many risks to you physically, emotionally and spiritually? I do not think your mom would like to see you bleed excessively, have infections that do not heal , pain that will not stop and a torn uterus- these are just a few- emotional risks I am sure you can imagine- grief, shame, anniversary remembrances etc. And being a Christian you can also imagine the spiritual risks- you and your boyfriend put yourself into a position to get pregnant but God is the creator. I totally understand that you do not want to disappoint your father- you love him. That is understandable, but think about that baby you are carrying- you had sex, now you need to be responsible and give life to your child- I hope that I did not offend you. I am a sister in Christ, who counsels girls in crisis pregnancies- if you want to email me , please do- if you want your mom to email that would be great too- God bless you!

Answer 5

Have you read up on the procedures they use to do abortions? That would be the best place to start know your facts before you decide anything. Be sure a discuss it with your partner also. Here is a site i went to when i first found out i was pregnant:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/pregnancy/pregnant-now-what.htm
It gives you all the options and pros and cons also has a test and can do too see if that choice is something you really want to do. The people at planned parenthood are very understanding and can help you a lot. hope this is help full.

Answer 6

It's YOUR decision. I dont think that because he doesnt go to worship makes him any less of a person or a father. My parents and my husbands parents are VERY religious and I freaked out when I found out I was pregnant because we werent married. But we have also been together for 8 years. So 3 months after we found out about the baby we had a nice wedding so that the parents were happy. But it boils down to you. Its your decision not anyone elses. If your parents love you they will still be there no matter what!

Answer 7

Keep your baby and where in the world are you that they won't let you Dad minister because of your being with child?Thats just nuts.What goes on in your home with your family has nothing to do with church.And noone has the right to ask your Dad to step down just because you are having a baby.It happends to lots of people.Are you still a teen in school?That might be why you say what you say.If you are an adult who is about to get married its your buisness about your baby and when it was cancieved not the churches.I just think its wrong for a congreation to judge when its God who will Judge all us when the time comes so they shouldn't make your Dad step down.God helped plant that life growing in you.Don't forget that.

Answer 8

You have to look at this situation 20 years from now, and you are going to have to live with this regret of giving up YOUR child if you were to have an abortion. Children happen for a reason. This is your life, you made an adult decision to have sex, knowing pregnancy could be a consequence. It's not up to your parents. And as a man of God, I would hope your father would understand that. Disapointment from your parents is temporary, however, once that baby is gone, it's gone forever. You have to live with that, not them. Your baby happened for a reason, regardless of how good of a person the guy is you are with, whether your father is a minister or not, and whether you were ready or not. Please be smart and think long and hard before you make any decisions. Good luck.

Answer 9

It is your decision, plain and simple. If you are planning on moving out anyway, your fathers career won't be affected. If your father is a minister, how could he possibly not understand your desire to keep your baby?

The child will grow to be accepted and loved. Your Dad will get over it. Remember, the baby doesn't have a choice in this matter. Keep your baby alive.

Answer 10

I'm so proud of you for wanting to keep the baby! I am rather shocked that your parents would want you to have the abortion with your father being a minister. After all, the baby is God's wonderful creation. Apparently you are old enough to make that decision. Don't do it!! It is something you would probably regret!