19 and pregnant... scared!?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for five years, and we are engaged now. I am a 19 year old college student, and he's a 20 year old college student getting ready to go to a police academy. I have endometriosis, and I have had unprotected sex for our entire relationship, and I have never been pregnant before. I have an appointment for an abortion next week. I'm so scared, and I haven't even told my mom and my fiance isn't ready for a baby,and neither am I. But he wants me to have an abortion. What should I do?

Answer 1

your old enough to care for a baby why do you want an abortion, its your baby too
dont you think your mum has to right to know shes could be a grandma?
maybe she could help with the baby while you 2 finish collage
abortion isn't the only option to take,adoption too

a baby is a blessing not something you can just get rid of

Answer 2

This is a decision that you need to take everyone else out of the equation for. You need to think about this for yourself and for no one else. You said you have endometriosis, I'm not very familure with it, but what comes to mind, does it make it hard to concieve, and is there a chance that you couldn't have another child.
You may not feel ready, neither may your fiance, but the harsh reality is this could have been prevented. You cound have chosen to protect agains pregnecy and you didn't. An abortion shouldn't be a form of birth control. I'm not against a right for a women to choose. But somethings are accidents, and somethings are mistakes that maybe we subconciously wanted to happen. If you are in this much dilema about what you should do, about weather an abortion is right for you, maybe a part of you really wants a baby.
Whatever you decide make sure its something you can live with, because you can't change your mind later. And if you deicide to have the baby, but later don't feel you are ready, there is always adoption as an option.

Answer 3

I was in your situation when I was 19. My boyfriend at the time was 22 or 23. Anyway, he didn't want the baby. I had just found out that I had brain cancer. I didn't know I was pregnant when I had my surgery. I found out about 2 weeks later. Needless to say.... I went along with what HE wanted and the day of my abortion to be. They gave me an ultrasound to verify how far along I was and we discovered that I had miscarried. It was so sad. I think in all honesty you need to do what YOU want. Not what your boyfriend wants. If you keep the baby you will have the most beautiful relationship that you could ever have with anyone. If you choose to not keep the baby you might end up regretting it and never be able to cope with it. I suggest keeping the baby and perhaps think about adoption. That way it gives you time to think really hard about it. And you could change your mind once you hear the heartbeat or even see the "little guy" on the screen. Those are my thoughts. I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make. Good luck!! And also, you don't have to tell mom until you are ready. You are an adult now.

Answer 4

whether or not to keep the baby must be a decision both of you can agree on or it will tear you apart later.

you never feel quite ready for a baby, but you have 40 weeks! to get used to the idea, and people have done it in much worse circumstances than you

sounds like from the endometriosis that the chances of you getting pregnant were very slim, so this is a gift.
I am expecting a baby and I am 24, it was a suprise and we both did not feel ready and my husband is 30. but like I said you adjust to it and then its very exciting.

if your college is important to you and you cannot defer it for a year or two you need to decide.
but if you are in a loving relationship and its only about your career then its not a good enough excuse to abort it. because thats kind of selfish, since you were having unprotected sex in the first place.
thats my two cents.

oh also if you ahve family around you it will be much easier,

Answer 5

Don't have an abortion because he wants you to. If this isn't what you want you will regret it for the rest of your life. Talk to your mom before you make any decision. Personally I don't believe that abortion is the right choice, but it is your choice. Not your fiance's or your parents or the people on Answers who are going to be really ugly to you about it. Talk to your mom and your fiance. Ask to talk to a counselor at the schools health clinic. Consider adoption if you really aren't ready to have the baby. You are young, but it sounds like you are in a committed relationship. You could make it work. If you really don't think you can handle the baby now, please consider adoption. Once you have an abortion, you can't change your mind about it. I hope it all works out for you, and really talk to your mom about it. Don't do anything rash.

Answer 6

Don't have an abortion, You are old enough to take care of a baby . You are an adult now and don't need mommies permission to start a family. Give this child a chance, Let someone who aren't lucky enough to even get pregnant, adopt your baby, if you decide you don't want it or even wait it out cause once you feel that baby move and have personality you might change your mind and want him/her. And for your fiance who isn't ready, no matter when you have your first child your never really ready.

Answer 7

Please do not do it- your baby's heart was beating at 3 weeks after conception- you should be scared, not just that an abortion takes the life of a child- it is not safe for you either- excessive bleeding, torn uterus, pain, infections, later miscarriages, not being able to have children later- I know I counsel women in pregnancies that have had abortions before- also emotional risks are high- shame, guilt, you will never forget taking the life of your child. You and your Boyfriend chose to have sex- unprotected at that and now you have a baby in the picture- place for adoption if you are not ready to parent, but do not take the life of an innocent baby. If you want to talk more, email me!!

Answer 8

Please don't do it. I just turned 20 last week and I am 35 weeks pregnant... I was scared to death when I found out at first but abortion was NEVER an option for me. That is a LIFE you are taking. Think about ALL the people who want a baby and can't have one and would LOVE to adopt. There are places you can call-- people who will talk to you about your options. Don't let HIM talk you into an abortion. There is a life inside of you... its SUCH a special feeling when you hear the heartbeat, or feel the baby kick... think about what you are doing.

Answer 9

Do what you think you need to do.
This is a hard choice to make.

The reality is that no one is going to help you. Not your mom, fiancee or even a stranger answering your question.
Only you know what you want to do.
Deep in your heart, you already know the answer.

I may be reading your question wrong but you say he wants you to have an abortion. The way you state this it seems that maybe you're having doubts about going through this procedure.

If I may make a suggestion... Tell your mom. She knows you better then anyone in the world and she will be a support system better then anyone else. Although she will not be able to tell you what to do, she will be able to be by your side.

If you do go with the procedure, don't go alone. It is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. Go with some one who has your needs in mind, not theirs.

Good luck and I hope everything goes well.

Answer 10

Pregnancy is not a burden. Im your age and pregnant as well. The baby is actually was inspired me to go to school and also inspired my boyfriend to do more with himself. Life does not have to stop. And no one is ready for a baby. No one thinks they are financial and everyone wonders if they would be a good parent. I have family members as well as friends who has abortions and I will tell you they regret it soooo much (especially my best friend who after a abortion has never been able to conceive again) You can still go to school and so can he, that does not have to change. I just want you to know no one ever thinks there ready. As far as your mom I would tell her. She may be very supportive and having some kind of support might help you. For you fiance, if you wanted to keep it, I would tell him that you are keeping it and either he can work with you or you will see him in court. Also if you get an abortion bc of him you will grow to resent him, I seen it happen. Also with your condition, does that make it hard to conceive?? If so you really may want to keep it cause it possible may never happen again and then you will really hate yourself and him