identity of a horsewoman?

Question

easy to locate
shes either off on the horse or out in the barn
upholds the double standard. smooches with the most whiskered beast, but recoilswhen hubby needs a shave
owns one vacum cleaner and operates it exclusively in the barn.
ecomony minded. wont waste money on permanents, facials, or manicures.
a culinary perfectionest. checks every section of hay for mold but doesnt blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.
Easy to outfit. no need to for embarassing visits to uncomfortable little botiques. you can find all she wears at the local tack store.
Features a selective sence of smell. Bitterly complains about hubbies sticky-sweet cigar smoke while remaining totaly oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.
A master of multiplication. she starts with 1 horse adds a companian, and if its a mare, she breeds it.

socially aware. knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
Easy to please. A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoofpick will win her heart forever.
Shows her affection in unusual ways. If she pats you on the neck and says "Your a good boy,"
beleive it or not, she loves you!

Answer 1

Complains about hubby's flatulence, but makes it a fact to check her horses bowel movements each day.
Skips getting new riding boots and instead gets that extra 4th winter blanket.
Rations out money for families groceries, but grins as she signs the check for feed and hay and says, "Only the best for my main man/gal!"
Complains about the dogs tracking mud through the house, but is unaware when she does in her muddy riding boots.
Even when you can't afford that new car you both know you need, she makes a way so you can afford that new horse that she finds just perfect.
When the money gets short, she'll sell off your belongings before selling that extra 7th horse.
Can't read her hubby's body language but is quick to know when her horse is in a bad mood.
Worries if the horses had enough water when you leave for a day trip- but you come home to find that she left the oven on all day.

Puts your car as collateral when she takes that loan for the equitation event she's been training day and night for.

Answer 2

And ... swears by horse shampoo for her hair, horse liniment for her horse-related bruises, horse medicine for her lacerations due to being thrown into a fence;
Has tasted horse feed and spends extra money on apples and carrots; sleeps in the barn when a foal is due, and has ridden in the horse trailer with a mare and foal for the foal's first trip. Smells like sweaty horse blankets more often than flowers; and the way to win her heart isn't through candlelight and roses, but flashlight and elbow grease when the horses break trhe fence in the middle of the night!

Answer 3

erm...never has any money as it goes on the horse(s) and clothing is never clean as at least 1 horse has wiped its mouth all over it never spends any money on herself but insists on getting the most expensive shampoo for the horse BUT never moans about mucking out having no money or anything to do with horses (maybe waiting for showing classes in an outdoor school when it is -3 and chucking it down with rain):D

Answer 4

feeds the horses before the kids! has horses on everything she owns...checkbooks, pictures, earrings, etc. rather ride than eat! can sit in the hot sun all day at a horse show but says the beach or pool is too hot to go to! rather live and breath horse smells than the best perfume/cologne...which incidently would be a number one seller if anyone could ever bottle that heavenly horse scent!!!!

Answer 5

Uh....is this a personals ad? I think you're in the wrong section.

Answer 6

walks bulllegged and has caluses on her butt.

Answer 7

..... is you high?