The marriage has become extremely abusive. I have 2 kids but only my daughter is still with me. I work a full time job and earn close to $40,000 a year. How do women manage after a divorce?
2007-03-21 08:30:44 · 20 answers · asked by Nancy M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Millions of divorced woman, making their way everyday!.
Never remain in an abusive relationship!
2007-03-21 08:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by ~The Medieval Islander~ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm not divorced, but thought of it many times. Depending on where you live, your salary will be able to provide for you on your own. Since the relationship is abusive, I'd move out when your husband is at work and get a restraining order against him. In the mean time, file for divorce and don't tell your husband your new address or phone number. Notify your employer of your husband possibly showing up at so they know what action to take if he does. It will be tough, but in the long run you'll come out a stronger person for being able to leave such an abusive relationship. You deserve so much better than this. So does your daughter. Best wishes to you.
2007-03-21 09:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first you are scared and for most of us, our life style may change to having a bit less than what we had as a married woman - I'm talking house, car, clothes, more money to spend. However, I can also tell you that after a few months of living alone and managing your household alone, the fear goes away and it is great to come home and KNOW that it will be peaceful and chaos will not reign. You make enough money to take care of yourself and your daughter AND you would be showing your daughter that she doesn't have to accept abuse and can stop the abuse by removing herself from the situation.
I would also suggest finding the nearest women's shelter as you can meet one on one with a counselor (usually FREE) or join a group of battered woman to help you deal with all the feelings you will be going through and to help you heal and put the past in the past.
Honestly - a day of total peace eating rice a roni was/is better then spending one more day in an abusive, walk on egg shells type of marriage. 20 years is a long time. You are a very strong woman to have lasted that long - which tells me you are strong enough to make it on your own.
You'll be fine.
2007-03-21 08:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think, u would manage just fine cause u wouldn't have to put up with the day to day **** from him! Your stress level would decrease and this would improve ur overall health cause stress causes many more health problems than u think! And if ur child that is still home with you is a minor make the MF pay child support and i would make sure you got some kind of restraining order or something against him cause hes gonna be pretty pissed when u kick his a** to the curb! I would also seek counseling for myself and my children if they have witnessed any of the abuse. Or better yet wait till his a** falls asleep, tie his a** up in the sheet and BEAT the sh** out of him with a bar of soap in a sock! Good luck!
2007-03-21 09:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by Rae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am recently divorced and while I have alot less money....I am far more happy with myself and my life.:) If your husband is abusing you, you are bound to be better off without him. Take your daughter and go. My mom raised three children on less than $40,000 a year. You will manage just fine.
2007-03-21 08:40:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sophie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm not divorced, yet concept-approximately it many cases. in keeping with the place you reside, your gross revenues would be waiting to offer for you on your guy or woman. because of fact the relationship is abusive, i might pass out while your husband is at artwork and get a restraining order against him. interior the advise time, report for divorce and don't tell your husband your new handle or telephone form. Notify your business enterprise of your husband probably showing up at so as that they understand what action to take if he does. that's going to be hard, yet interior the long-term you will come out a enhanced individual for being waiting to leave such an abusive relationship. You deserve plenty extra useful than this. So does your daughter. ideal desires to you.
2016-11-27 20:08:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine women who are self dependent such as
yourself have the advantage of doing very well as
they do not need to depend on a man to survive
and go on with their life. Abuse is a disease that
always hurts the abused and if the abuser does
not stop then the abused needs to go on with
his or her life. Your child needs to be in a clean
and loving environment and if it takes you to be
with her alone then it's better for you and her.
Be strong, do what you have to do, and you will
find out in the end that you did the right thing, and
good luck, to you and your daughter.
2007-03-21 16:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has given really good advice! I know one hard part will be being lonely. Don't be tempted to rebound and date too soon. Enjoy your freedom, make friends, and rely on their support if you need to!!
In some areas of the country, $40,000 isn't enough to live and raise a child, but you may need to shop around for less expensive places, learn to budget on your income, etc...
Good luck!
2007-03-21 08:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One would think, that after 20 years, you could find the door. Either he leaves or you leave. File divorce papers and the court will work it all out.
2007-03-21 08:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You earn more than enough to manage on your own. if you want to leave, file for divorce and leave. There's life after marriage!
2007-03-21 08:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋