My daughter is mixed...?

Question

My daughter is half Black and half Puerto Rican...when i take her to daycare everyone looks at me all werid because my daughter is light skinned. I want to snap off on people becuase it doesn't matter what color you are all equal we all bleed red.
SO yesterday i went off for the first time in 10months that i have been taking her there. Now i dont' want to go back. Should it have been okay for me to go off.....OPINIONS ONLY
No start remarks.

Well the remarks would be harsh. "look at her she got herself a black man,,,taking our men..." Comments like this were said for those of you who think i just went off the deep end.

Answer 1

You must be feeling unhappy about your outburst of yesterday since you are asking this question and are reluctant to return to the daycare center, but, of course, you are right that everyone is equal and should be treated that way. You may feel self-conscious because of your daughter's light coloring compared to yours; are you certain that "everyone" (do you mean the employees?) at the center is truly looking at you "weirdly"? Could it not be your imagination?? I see women all the time who have mixed race babies and children with different coloring from their mothers'; such offspring are common in today's society so should not really be a cause for staring or comment. ( I do not know where you live, but I live in Florida.) If you want your daughter to remain at the daycare center, I suggest that you apologize, depending upon what you said, attempting to explain the reason for your anger; perhaps if you can make yourself understood, the situation can be resolved calmly with no hard feelings. Conversely, if you feel that the problem is untenable, then withdraw your child. I do hope that you can find a solution that will satisfy you as you should be able to enjoy your daughter without needing to be concerned for her skin color or your own...

Answer 2

I think you are feeling bad for snapping when you know in your heart you are a much bigger person than you allowed people to see. I think the person you are having a hard time seeing is YOURSELF for allowing your emotions to get in the way. I am half white and half Native American (Gros "Ventre) and guess what? I am not accepted in either culture although I identify with Native American. Anyhow, most Natives would tell you I am beautiful because of my mixed blood. I am proud of who I am. I think you need to stop and feel good about yourself and your daughter because if she feels this she will believe it. I bet both of you are beautiful people in and out. From now on, don't let anyone's nasty comments shape who you are or how you feel. Good luck and PEACE!!! Oh, one last thing, just tell the daycare you are sorry for the blowup, I am sure they already know what it was about, so just apologize, don't explain yourself.

Answer 3

You cannot change people who stare, talk and look at your child and you. You should have just ignored it, that would have been far better. Have you ever thought that maybe they think you and your daughter are so cute together or something positive. What I think you did was make yourself look like a lunatic. Next time don't react so harshly, just be proud of you and your child, because you can't change anyone at all, and you didn't need to educate them, they are grown. If they are taking good care of her while she is there then that is what you should have been concerned with, not that they stare at you.

Answer 4

I am Black and dating a White man. People of every ethnicity look at us wherever we go. I used to think it was because we are an interracial couple until we "snapped" on someone who told me the only reason she and her friends (White women) were looking at us was because they sincerely thought we were a stunning couple.

My point is that are you sure they were looking at you and your daughter because of your ethnic makeups? Or maybe they just thought you were both aesthetically pleasing to the eye? Or perhaps you were simply in their lines of vision. Maybe they were looking at you out of ignorant jealousy, but who cares? Ignore it. As long as no one says anything to you or your daughter, just brush it off. It's really not that serious.

Edit: after reading the add'l details, you were right to say something, but I don't know that you should have "gone off". Next time, turn their ignorance against them with a smart, catty remark, toss your head, and walk off.

Answer 5

People are going to stare no matter what. It happens to everyone for some reasons. No one is perfect. I don't think you did anything wrong but it depends if it was a casual look or were they gauking at you? I have a fiery temper so I would have went off regardless. Just remember, your daughter is beautful as she is and keep telling her that :)

Answer 6

Mmm... Who are looking at you, kids or adults, because kids don't know that much. If they are adult you may ask if they have any concern. I totally understand, my daughter is darker than me, one day when I pick her up at the day care they where at the playground and the teacher call her saying your mom is here, one of the little girls was running and when she saw me she stopped and said "Is that your mom? But she is white." I just smiled because it was a child and I didn't see any offense on her comment. But when it comes an offense you should step on.

Answer 7

Is your name Angelina Jolie?

Brush the chip off your shoulder, we are all mixed in this world. Get over it.