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doesnt agree..what can i do? i havent done a night out with my freinds for a long time and i feel like just goin out alone without the wife ..but she doesnt like the idea ..ive tried to explain and she doenst understand ..what can i do?

2007-03-21 07:47:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

23 answers

Married men or women do not need to go to a bar or night club without their spouse. That will just get them in trouble. Maybe she can go with you? Or maybe you can have poker night at a friends house....there are other things you can do with your friends. My husband hangs out in the garage with his buddies, they all live in the same complex, so they hang out in each others garages, have bbq's, work on their motorcycles, play poker, anything pretty much.

2007-03-21 08:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by Kari R 5 · 0 0

It's called negotiation. Does it have to be a bar or nightclub? Can it be a friend's house to watch the game, a pizza parlor that serves alcohol, a sporting event, bowling alley or pool hall, or something else? I cherich my "girls' nights" and they are usually at my house so anyone can spend the night and not worry about drinking and driving or watching our behavior out in public. My husband occasionally stops after work with some guys or goes to a party himself if I cannot go. Does she have girfriends she can go with or can she hook up with the other guys' women for a girls' night. Yes I agree time alone with friends is important to be a "guy" or a "girl" without anyone feeling uncomfortable that someone of the opposite sex is with you, and am sorry if she does not understand this at all. But if she is just uncomfortable with the bar or nightclub idea then it is not unreasonable. Why does it have to be a bar or nightclub if she is uncomfortable with it? If you work something out so you get to have the guys only night out then make sure you plan a date for the two of you and include her in your guys night by sharing stories when you get home.

2007-03-21 15:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0 0

Sorry guy you ain't single anymore you are married and well the only reason a guy would want to do this is because they want to watch other women well it is wrong I agree with your wife. If you want to go clubbing so much go out with the wife you selfish jerk she deserves to go out too. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to old friends because your lifestyle changes when you marry it is never right to go out to a bar or nightclub without the wife it is rude and extremely disrespectful your wife sounds smart she know's exactly why you want to do this you perve scoping out women after marriage is wrong and on the verge of lust and adultery. If it is just to watch a sporting event there is no reason your friends can't come over bring the beer and watch the game at your place. If this is the life you wanted then you weren't ready for marriage.

2007-03-21 17:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0 0

I believe she is not agreeing because she feels that you might do something out there that is wrong. That's why I stopped b/f from going to bars (he agrees to it, but brings it up once in a while as a joke, I stopped him from drinking too) or drinking bear, vodca, wine....etc. I know they won't do anything good and men just act crazy and get drunk and might actually flirt with other girls, which I don't accept at all, whatsoever... However, I am fine with him going with his friends to a coffee shop or to the mall or something because I know he needs a break sometimes to go out with his friends. I mean, this is normal.

Just talk to your wife and make her understand that she shouldn't be worried and tell her how many drinks you will (so you stay sober the whole night without getting drunk and start playing around with other girls) and tell her you won't be that late, and you just want to have fun. Am sure she will understand if you make sure her fears or worries are no longer there.

Good luck. Have fun. Stay Sober.

2007-03-21 14:57:05 · answer #4 · answered by peachy 4 · 1 0

Im a wife and I can say I would totally HATE that idea! Its not something he and I do. We have been married 20 years now- right out of highschool- and we do just about everything together. Its just not much fun without him! Maybe she would change her mind if SHE got to go out with friends on Friday nite and u with yours on Saturday? Ask yourself how u would feel about HER going to the bar without you? If its not what u want HER to do then dont do it yourself! I think if you trust each other it would be okay once in awhile. R your friends married or single? Single guys react different at a bar than married guys! I was a bartender for 6 years TRUST me I know!!!! It may be why she is worried bout it!

2007-03-21 15:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0 0

I've never not allowed my husband to go off and do things w/ his friends, I wouldn't want that kind of restraint put on me if I wanted to do something! Maybe if you explain to her exactly what the plan is for that night and about what time you'll be home it might make her feel better - I always tell my husband what I am planning on doing, and if for some reason it changes I let him know, I just think it's being courteous. I would also ask her what her big aversion is to you going out...is it that she doesn't like who you will be out with? Doesn't like you going to bars by yourself or what the deal is. Best of luck!

2007-03-21 15:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by FirefighterWife 3 · 0 0

You can tell you're wife that you will respect her wishes for now, but you will resent it big time.
And while you are forbidden to go out and be with your friends, you want her to help you understand why you can't.
And you should explain to her, that trust is the most important thing in a marriage.
And that if being married means restricting and confining you to the walls of your home, and letting go of your friends, then you want to redo your vows with her.
In the mean time, while your confined, ask her to explain the why's of why you cannot go out, and play with your friends.
She doesn't realize that this is not the way to be.
Hopefully she will come around to letting you go.
But, if you decide to just break loose and go out anyway, you will still be made to feel bad. Either way.
You can either just do it anyway, and hopefully she will see that it is ok or never be happy with it.
You need to be a man and take your stand in this.
You sound like your a good man to your wife, and respect her wishes, but don't deny your own rights and enjoyment with your friends.

2007-03-21 15:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 1 1

Tell her that you need some time out with the friends and that she needs time out with her friends too - I'm sure you will let her go out to the bar/nightclub with the gals won't you? insist on letting her go out the next weekend or two - you guys just need to compromise, that's all! if you get a night out with the boys - she gets a night out with the girls, right?

2007-03-21 15:17:34 · answer #8 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0 0

I can't believe some of the answers here.. why shouldn't you go out with your buds for a night. Is she that insecure that she can't handle the fact that you are a person also and have friends. If you have not done anything in the past to not be trusted she should not behave this way. Just because people get married does not mean that they should give up who they are. Are you supposed to do nothing unless it's with her? This is why marriages don't last also, controlling, mistrusting people.

2007-03-21 15:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1 2

It sounds like she has a fear of letting you be without her. I would explain to her that it is good to get out with your friends once in awhile even for her. Tell her that you will talk her out to dinner the night you are going out with your friends. (do something out of you way that day to make her feel special!) then say hey next week why dont you go out with your girlfriends and I will stay home. And then plan some alone time with just you and her. Good luck. I dont understand why women get like that! I love when my husband gives me a night to myself!!! LOL god being together all the time would drive me nuts. and we both spend times apart and together it is only healthy! good luck

2007-03-21 15:06:11 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer M 1 · 0 1

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