My husband told me that he calls the shots around here because he's bringing the income in.?

Question

I'm a stay at home mom with 2 children and I'm active in the community.

Answer 1

OH Yeah Then point to your cooch and say I call the shot around here buster! Now go sleep on the couch. He will hand you his paycheck and checkbook by noon!

Answer 2

Tell him just cause ur a stay at home mom, that doesn't mean u don't work cause raising the kids and taking care of the house is a big deal. Ask him if he could hold down as many jobs as u do cause you are the cook, housekeeper, dishwasher, child care provider, laundry person, bill payer, grocery getter, the nurse, when him and the kids are sick, the psychologist for the family and most off all you are his damn wife and u deserve to be treated with respect! It sounds like you have time to devote to the community , why don't u try getting a job instead and make sure you have to work on a day his a** is off and leave him with the kids and a list of "the things I do all day while ur at work that you need to get done while i'm at work" and see how many "shots he wants to call then"! If it don't work leave his a**!!

Answer 3

In a very big way... he's right. Not so much about "calling the shots", because you have a lot to do taking care of the house and kids. But since he brings in the money, that is a heck of a sweet ride for you, if he brings in a lot.

You each have a role, and I would advise thinking of it as each one of you having a job in keeping your lives running smoothly. I would not play games like verbally kicking him in the nuts, or pointing out to him that you can withhold sex any time you want. That kind of stuff just creates tension. Anyone with 2 kids doesn't need more tension.

As noble as being a stay at home mom is reputed to be, it doesn't pay much.

Answer 4

That one simple statement tells us that there's a whole lot of problems in this relationship. Disrespect is the most obvious. Let me guess, he comes and goes as he pleases and doesn't feel like he needs to explain himself? He throws his crap down wherever he wants, probably doesn't rinse his whiskers from the sink or wash off his dinner plate? I'm wondering how long you've been w/ him, or actually, how long you've put up w/ being treated like this? If he treats you like anything less than his very best friend, the greatest love of his life, Then you need to start getting your ducks in a row TODAY. I'm fricken' serious. Can you start putting away small amounts of money without him knowing? Don't get yourself in a situation that if you ever wanted to leave, you wouldn't be able to because of no job and no money. If you don't have any good job skills, maybe you should get some sort of classes under your belt. There's no reason why bettering yourself should be harmful to your marriage, or your children. People all over the world hire daycare providers and have wonderful kids. If he has a problem w/ that then you REALLY, REALLY need to heed my advise. I wish you well. P.S. If there is a way for you to send a comment back to me, I'd like to hear from you. I don't know how all this works.

Answer 5

What! I hope you spoke up after the said that crap... he does not call the shots even if he makes the money and if your worried about the $$ support, I'm not sure how old your two kids are it's time to stop being a stay at home mom and get out there and do for yourself.
If you like staying home with the kids thats fine to. but that is it self is a full time job.. and you both call the shots in your house hold.

Answer 6

well this can go two ways if you are a stay at home mom and every time he comes home he has to do 80% of the work (cleaning, taking care of dinner, taking care of the kids or more ) he has a valid point if you are doing 80% of the work then you have at least as much say in things as he does but I will say one thing if you want something neither of you can afford ( a new car, house, maid or soemthing else he may not be able to support at this time) he should have more to say but you should also have some to say yet as well. what hasn't been asked here is what was the arguement about that started this?

I see everyone is saying stop the sex I will say something about that if you start using sex as a weapon he will get resentful and will find someone to have sex with. then he will leave you. getting nothing at home? might as well get another home and life. have to beg for sex all the time? might as well fid someone who enjoys my company and have sex with them. men only put up with the sex as a weapon for so long he will cheat on you because you may be a great wife but he has to jump through to many hoops to get any type of affection from you.
BTW this also goes for women if the guy isn't doing his best to romanticize his woman she will have an affair that makes her feel wanted and sexy that is usually what causes or starts affairs on both sides.

Answer 7

My husband told me the same thing once and I WORK. I told him i guess i'll get me 2 other jobs and make the same as you and then move out so I wont' have a girl as a husband, who throws crap in my face because i spend the bacon. Last i checked we women work TWICE as hard and around the clock, and i don't think any man can handle that. The more power they think they have the weaker they are. so girl stand up to this chump and show him what a real women you are!

Answer 8

Tell him that he needs to start paying you for all you do to run the household and raise your two children. Tell him that you would be glad to switch places with him and let him take your job that takes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Tell him that marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

You might try writing down everything that you do each day. Hand the list to him and ask him which things have no value in your marriage. It will be an awakening for him.

Answer 9

Why don't you try going out and getting a job....make sure HE'S the one who pays for daycare.........simply tell him since he is making probably more than you will be he can foot the bill. Tell him you want to have a 50/50 say in calling the shots.....oh and make sure you pay the maid out of his paycheck as well.

Answer 10

Get some girlfriends. This is an online, time-wasting delayed chat-room filled mostly with teenagers, young men of little life experience and housewives wanting to tease them. You need to ask your husband if he'd rather reverse the roles -- and stay home, seriously. And you will work (period) regardless of income. But, of course, you hadn't explained what "shots" you wanted to "call" and the topic at hand, and are simply seeking emotional & baseless support.

Answer 11

Utter rubbish!!! Just because you stay at home doesn't mean that your contribution is less valuable! If anything it is more challenging! I suggest you beat him at his own game and work towards bringing in some income yourself! It is unfair for him to treat you with such a lack of sensitivity! Empower yourself...