should i tell her hes a cheat?

Question

my husband works with a fella whos getting married in september.i wouldnt say we were great friends but the girl hes marrying is really nice and friendly and would always stop for a chat if i meet her in town.anyway, my husbands workmate constantly brags about sleeping with other women behind her back.my husband and i both think its awful and feel really sorry for her,shes so in love with him and really excited about the wedding. my husband says its none of our business and shouldnt get involved,but i know that if it was me,id want to know before i married him.i was thinking of telling her anonymously, what does everyone think?

Answer 1

If I were you I would stay out of this. Even if you do tell her he will deny it and try to make you look like the bad guy. She will find out for herself the kind of man she has choosen to marry.

Answer 2

Thisis always a hugely difficult area to deal with......the fact that you have asked foradvice shows it is on your mind. On one hand I am inclinced to feel better out of it on the other she has a right to know. I do however find it nieve on her part if he is doing as he boasts that there have been no little doubts crosss her mind. Love isblind perhaps. If you think it through carefully and believe you are right then you are right to tell. Think he will be very defensive and deny so if you happened to know who and where and when he was with another woman and she found out annonymously....atleast she would not take those vital steps to the altar.
Why oh why do men do such things to honest and trusting women.....he sounds like a sociopath personality and cruel unable to link into how she might feel at aall. Bodes very badly for the marriage.

Answer 3

Hmmm tricky one. Have you got any evidence he's cheating ? Is it possible he's boasting but not actually sleeping around? Personally, I wouldn't get involved no good will come from it, you don't know either of them well enough so I think you'll end up being the bad person.

An aquantence of mine has a partner who sleeps around (I know for definate) and it is difficult when she goes on about how wonderful he is when in fact everyone knows what he's really like, and what a low opinion he has of her. However, she has the kind of personality, that if you told her what he was up to, she would think you were jealous of them as a couple!!

Answer 4

If I worked with the man I would tell him to keep his big
bragging mouth SHUT!
I would let the girl know. Simply because, you have come
on here asking for advice to a awful situation that you have
been put in because of HIS boasting.
I would at least let her know about what he is saying to everyone. Yes - she will be hurt, but nothing to the way
she will feel when after a lovely wedding and probably a couple of children she finds out then.
You follow your instincts. Anon if you have to. But do
something. I hope thing works out for her and you.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

I would tell her,my Husband was a horrible man extremely manipulative and I didn't know until 13 years later
I wasted so much time on him and even sacrificed my Career for him,if only someone would have spoken up sooner, I could have change a lot about my past.
Only now are so called friends telling me that they never understood why I was with him.
So pls speak up at least you would have tried.

Answer 6

As much as I wouldn't want to be the messenger, this girl has a right to know the truth.
Wether he actually is or isnt sleepin around behind her bak, he obviously has no respect for her to be speaking like that. Either way, she's marrying a total jerk and she needs to know before its too late to back out.

I wish someone had told me but instead everyone at his work knew and I was the last to know

Answer 7

I feel torn on this one. On one hand, it's not your business. On the other hand, I can only WISH SOMEONE would have warned me about the jerks I got involved with, and maybe I could have saved myself a LOT of torment! I'm thinking if I knew something like that, I'd almost feel it as an obligation to let that person know, but like you said, most likely I'd do it anonymously.

Answer 8

There is always the chance that the guy is just bragging to your husband, and it is not true. Some men do that. They think it looks big. As you say, you are not close to them and they are only aquaintances. Leave well alone. If you feel it necessary to intervene, he will deny it anyway.

Answer 9

any nearer of bad news will get the brunt of all the flak, so make sure you do not tell your husband either and send an anon letter typed not written!
i would want to know; even tho at the time i would probably not want to, after the chaos died down i would be grateful eventually.
so be discreet and anonymous nad if she turns to you for support, keep it secret!
good luck

Answer 10

okay i can see your upset for your aquaintence, but stop and think, you have already stated that she is madly in love with this lout, will she believe you even if you did tell her? he is being sneaky and feels like he will never be found out. also if you said something and it finally got back to him that your husbands wife had said something it may be awkward for your hubby.
i know it is hard and i know that you would want some1 to tell you, but i am afriad you can only be there for this friend for when she finally finds out, and for gods sake dont tell her you already knew, a foot note tho , try asking hubby if he will say that he over heard you saying that you over heard some1 telling his betrothed to be that they say him with another women and it looked a little to friendly?
sorry i am not much help , but unfortunately matters of the heart is something that sometin=mes has to be left to the persons heart and no1 elses