Extroverts+Introverts?

Question

I'm a very introverted, introspective person.

People have told me that i need to find a dynamic extrovert as a mate. Although sometimes I find quieter men attractive, because they seem sensitive and on my wavelength...

Is it true that people who are quiet need people who will ''break them out of their shell?''

I'm an INFP personality type, with a melancholic/phlegmatic temperament

Answer 1

Not really it depends on what you need at the moment. At first I was very attracted to extroverts, the life of the party, talk active, had millions of friends.

That was good and all, but the bad thing about that was that those kind of guys were flirts, and many of them already had g/fs but still flirted with me to give me mixed signals. At that time I was very quiet and insecure compared to how I am now.

Now I came out out of my shell a bit, and I realized that introverts are better. They have beautiful feelings, they are more faithful, etc. It depends on the person really.

Obviously you need someone to keep you in balance, so I do believe that opposite atracts, but not neccesary means "introverts with extroverts"

There are couples that are both introverts that get along just fine, it depends on how well they communicate their feelings and needs.

I am sometimes an introvert and extrovert but I realized that introvert boys are better in certain areas, because I got tired of extroverted guys playing with my feelings.

Oh I am melancholic-choleric by the way. I am atracted to guys who are chill, calm, etc, because I can get explosive at times, but I also like to be calm too.

Answer 2

Not true. I never understood why people think that quiet people need to be any different than they are. Being introverted does not equal being timid and shy. Some people are introspective and taciturn by nature, and prefer a small circle of friends.

If you are timid or shy, and if you feel it is stopping you from doing what you want or reaching your goals, then perhaps you need to work on "breaking out of your shell." But, I doubt having an extroverted mate will help much.

The only person you need to break out of your shell is yourself, assuming that you want to break out of it. Perhaps it would not hurt to make an attempt to do something more social every now and again, for it will afford you some new opportunities and experiences. Overtime would will develop a comfort zone as to how introverted/extroverted you care to be. I tend to avoid any organized groups, preferring a small group of close friends, with which I have much fun.

Answer 3

No, it is NOT true. What is true is that we have a choice, we can seek the gregarious personality or (and introverts and extroverts being "opposite", will strongly attract to the other) we can seek the quiet soul who will intuitively understand us.

Good luck.

BTW: I am an INTJ, which is fully explained in the book "Please Understand Me". There is a short test in the book and an in depth analysis of all the personality types. Look for it on-line or in bookstores or the library. I believe was written by Kiersey.

Peace.

Answer 4

It doesn't matter extrovert or introvert when it comes to who you fall for. But as a rule, it's good to keep to those who are somewhat like you (maybe less, maybe more). If you want to be with an extroverted person, my advice is to date someone who is SOMEWHAT extroverted. You're very introverted, so you'd be better off with someone like me, who is moderately both.

And though it may be good to be with someone who is unlike you in some way, it is never a good idea to date someone who is extremely unlike you. For example: I'm somewhat immature, so I should look for someone more mature than I am. But someone very mature is out of the question. I'd go completely crazy!

But it sounds like to me that you're listening too much to what those people say. If you really want to break out of your shell, feel free to date someone more sociable. If not, you can keep pursuing introverts as long as you like. I must warn you though: introverts are not as likely to try to pick you up. Well, you should know that! You might have better luck with extroverts, who tend to do most of the talking.

Answer 5

When it comes to choosing a mate, you should find someone who complements your personality style, not someone who feels the need to change who you are or how you behave. If you fall for a dynamic extrovert then that is who you should choose. If not, then it's perfectly fine not to be broken out of a shell.

Answer 6

No, it's not necessarily true. You're attracted to who you are attracted to. I'm also an introvert, but I am attracted to more extroverted people...but that's just me. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong here.

Answer 7

quite the opposite really. you don't need someone who is more extroverted, you just are more likely to meet someone who is more extroverted because they are more likely to approach you. however; extroversion is often a mask for a lack of depth and for you, you seem like you want someone with depth and will grow frustrated with an outgoing but perhaps shallow individual. while these are all generalizations, your question is somewhat general, so if you want more specifics, just add details and I will be more specific.

Answer 8

Not true!

Nothing wrong with two introverts sitting there together saying hardly anything.

First question should probably be:
"Is a mate even necessary?"

No need to worry about the rest unless you answer in the affirmative!

Answer 9

Honey, if you are happy and comfortable with who you are and your calm personality does not affect your ability to live a normal life, stay the way you are! You are just fine the way you are. Your mate should be the guy who you feel comfortable with and treats you well and allows you to treat him well. Period. If he happens to be quiet like you, fine, if he is loud and outgoing, fine. Go with your heart.

Answer 10

I AM SHY AND QUIET AND GUESS A INTROVERT , CAUSE I KEEP THINGS TO MYSELF ..BUT DON'T WORRY WHAT PEOPLE THINK ..GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU!