I am going to have my son for the first time since nov17 bec my x is a ***** is there neway to get him to rebember me and will i have a horrible problem with him? We are in a nasty divorce and my son is 16 months
2007-03-21 07:12:24 · 16 answers · asked by dirbe22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He might be a little uncomfortable at first, because he's not used to you. Just be patient. If he has crying episodes, it's only normal. Try to find some fun things to keep him occupied. Get down in the floor and roll cars with him. Make him laugh. Find a kiddie movie and sit with him and watch it. Get some toys, that are educational, like shape sorters or things like that, and play with him. He's probably going to have a little separation anxiety, but kids are resilient creatures, and he'll adjust, just go slow, and whatever you do, don't show anxiety, or that you're going to lose it if he has a hard time. It'll only add to the scariness of it all.
2007-03-21 07:18:41 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your in a bad battle!! Ur son isnt going to remember a whole lot so when u do get him just spend all your time with him.. take him places.. make him feel happy and loved.. He may cry, but dont get discouraged over it.. Just because he has been away from you for sometime now he may do that.. Once u get used to picking him up and having him for a few days more often he will get used to u and want to go see "daddy".. Im in a similar situation and my son has done the same thing so dont stress it will be ok.. Just have fun with him and make him feel like he is at home with u..
good luck and god bless u.
write back if u need to talk more ok
2007-03-21 14:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. My ex was b**** as well. Trust me, eventually they do get theres.
Take lots and lots of pictures. He probably won't really remember right now, but as time goes by he will. As you son gets older, make sure your son knows that you are there for him. Don't shower him with gifts. Let your son know that you are there for him. Did I mention -- let your son know that you are there for him. Listen to him and be a part of his life. Its a difficult process at times, but just be there for him. My ex did everything she could to keep my son and I apart, eventually, after 12 years, she gave up. I am proud to say that only once during the entire time my son was growing up did I ever say something bad about his mother. Never show your anger about your ex to your son or anyone else, when you do, you let your ex have control, so don't let your ex run your life.
I know I got off the path here, but just take lots of pictures and just spend time doing what a 16 month old kid likes to do, believe it or not playing with a empty egg carton is very fun to a 16 month old, so don't go and spend a bunch of money, time spent together is time that will last forever.
Best of luck to you.
2007-03-21 14:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It might be rough for a little bit at his age. I know my son at that age was a HUGE mama's boy- still is and he is 16! lol But he clung to me endlessly at that age- little girls cling to daddy and boys cling to mommy! And because he hasnt been with u on a daily basis! But be there for him- comfort him- and be patient with him! Show him how much he is loved and wanted and never get frustrated- they can smell fear! lol Be a constant presense in his life- see him as much as u can and the bond will grow! Iam sooooo afriad that one day my son will get married and have kids and in a divorce it seems like the guys family loses out seeing the grand kids often! There is a grand parents law that allows visitation thank god! Good luck to u! Its great you r in his life!
2007-03-21 15:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son will remember you, by the way you hold him. There's an unspoken bond between babies and parents, so don't worry about this. Hold him the way you always have, then look into his precious eyes and smile. He'll remember you.
You might want to get rid of the bitterness in your heart. Babies can pick that kind of stuff up and it can make them feel irritable. Leave the anger outside, before you bring your son in the house.
2007-03-21 14:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is tough I am very sorry for you. It 16 months. Maybe he will remember you, maybe not. Even if not, YOU can enjoy that time with him however he behaves. You've got to be understanding that things will probably not be perfect since he is so young. Give it time, when you get set up for your weekends together, things will be different and you will slowly build the relationship back. You've go to remember that he's going to miss Mom, so be prepared. I hope your time with him is special, it may not be perfect but it can be special. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-21 14:19:42 · answer #6 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two words:
GET. CUSTODY.
Get yourself a lawyer from a Father's Rights group (for example Los Angeles's local one is www.dadslaw.com) and fight for your child. 16 months may seem like forever right now, but how are you going to do this when its 16 months between EVERY visit and your child treats you like a stranger that's babysitting him? Young men need a father and you need to be that father. Stand up and take charge, show your son (even at this early age) that you're a man!
2007-03-21 14:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by Takfam 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Be a good Dad and don't let your feelings of your ex inter fear with your relationship with your son. Don't go that long again without seeing him and you won't have the problem with him remembering you. You have rights as a father as long as you are a good man. If she tries to tell you that you can't visit with him. Go talk to a lawyer or do research on line to find out your rights. Good luck!
2007-03-21 14:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by sandibum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A 16th month old won't "remember" in the sense you'd like, but they will have a sense of comfort with you if he had it before, if it is not there don't worry it should take little time to develop it again. Enjoy your son and remember to not put him in the middle, do not bad mouth your ex around him, and fight the legal battles in court not in your house.
2007-03-21 14:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you might want to have someone help you look at the law in your state... your wife should not be allowed to deny you visitation with your own child.
secondly, you sound very bitter, and i'm sorry to hear it. if you are having problems coping with this divorce situation, perhaps consider talking with someone who might be able to teach you coping skills and a better way of thinking.
i'm sure that, once you and your son get the chance to visit, he will be thrilled to see you! you can do it!
take care.
2007-03-21 14:38:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋