What should I do ?

Question

My girl and I liked each other very much but now she is

(1) Interested in some other guy
(2) Ignoring me

I don't even know what happened because she never told me.

(1) I am true to her to the best possible.
(2) Not even once I thought about anybody else.
(3) I have spent thousands of nights weeping in my blanket digging my face into pillow for personal reasons and thinking of her as my only one with me true to me.

Why she wants to leave me ? leaving me alone ? Or should I call it FATE ?

I gave my everything to this relationship but unfortunately it couldn't grow. Should I hold her responsible for this failure or Should I share 50% responsibility for this failure ?

I only see myself getting hurt, which is beyond description. Sorry for writing so long, thanks if anyone wants to answer ?

Answer 1

I have been through the same thing. I used to date a man who became interested in someone else and began ignoring me. I, too, was fully devoted like you were, but he was not. As it turned out, I had very little responsibility in the break up. See, he was using me. He was not willing to settle down in a monogamous relationship at the time. His two-timing was a direct result of his lack of commitment, not anything that I caused.

You did not make her find someone else. If she really was dedicated to you, then this would not have happened.

It is difficult to get over the weeping phase, but if you can realize that it is not your fault and that you need to let her go, then you will be better off. Use this as a learning experience because without meeting people we should not be with, it is more difficult to find someone we should be with. Sure, this hurts now, but before long, you will pull out of your depression and feel human again.

The best thing you can do is get your own self and emotions straight. Become the best "you" you can be so you can attract the right person to the real you. My suggestion is to do what I did...I am now engaged, so I can attest that it worked well for me. Go to the following website and you will find valuable info. to help you pull yourself back together. Though it is from a Christian perspective, it still gives valuable advice that will help anyone, whether they believe in Christ or not. There are many other links from this site that are awesome. This is just a very small excerpt:

"Here's where the weapon of perseverance delivers a mortal blow to your enemy. You simply tell depression: "I'm never giving up or giving in to you. You may continue to plague me, but I'll fight you with everything I've got. My emotions don't belong to you, and I refuse to let them be held hostage without a fight. You may knock me down, but I've decided to keep on getting up. And I'll fight you every time.

What does this type of attitude accomplish?

It breaks your usual cycle. You no longer simply give up when depression hits you.
The process of deciding to fight depression, even when you don’t feel like doing so, begins to give you more control over your emotions and helps you no longer feel like a victim.
As you decide to fight depression every time it appears, you build confidence in yourself. In many cases this shortens the amount of time depression stays with you.
Using the weapon of perseverance on a regular basis builds powerful habits in your behavior. Use it long enough and eventually you begin fighting depression when it appears without even realizing it!
Let me give you a word of encouragement. Even a little effort on your part each time is helpful. Even if you can’t successfully fight off depression this time, but begin trying to do so, you have made progress. Making the decision to do what you can each time will make you stronger. Perseverance pays off."

Answer 2

You have to enter the "adult" world now, and realize that in relationships, it takes TWO people. There is no ONE person to blame. And...as much as we hate to lose somebody or get hurt, in the real world, it happens. If it does, you allow yourself to feel whatever you need to, then you pick yourself up and dust your knees off, and go at it again. There's always another person out there, waiting for the next chance. It sucks that we have to find them by trial and error, but hey...Life's about changes. Nothing ever really stays the same. We live and we learn.

Answer 3

If you feel that you gave it your all, there is nothing more you could have done. She just wasn't the right person. Ironically, life will do that.

I was once in the most perfect relationship, the guy I was with was very obviously head over heels for me; out of insecurity I ended the relationship. I had the best year of my life with him, we rarely argued and if we did, it was me who would argue (over really petty and stupid things). I got frustrated and unwilling to accept that life was great and the relationship was the best thing that could have happened to me! This guy did nothing wrong and our chemistry was like no other and in addition he was a knock out-gorgeous! I wanted drama- what an idiot!

She will one day regret letting you go, trust me!

Answer 4

Well, I'm afraid it's a 50/50 deal. You give and take as does she and it takes two to tango so to speak. If, she's got that wanderin eye then you have no choice to confront her and ask why or what has happened between the two of you.

Course, you could just ignore her situation and start your own thing w/ someone else and see how she responses.

Good luck!