how do you get over the fear and phobia of going outside?

Question

i have borderline personality disorder, and in the past ive had problems with inner rage and losing control of it. this has caused me to be atacked by street hoodlams, many times. in 97 i got my head smashed open, with a wooden chair leg, by 3 hooded youths. many years latler, amoungst other things, i still struggle with inner rage, and losing control of impulse. stay ive socially isolated myself, and are scared of goin out. i only go out when i have to. i feel lonely, isolated and miserable. i have no friends to turn to. male or female. im waiting for therapy. im scared when i go out, what if it happens again? how would i deal with it? i have overwhelmin anxiety and the fear controls my life....im wonderin how i can overcome this?

Answer 1

We all have all the resources we need to do whatever we want, it's just a matter of using them. Whenever something happens and your unconscious mind cannot rationalise it. it starts a pile. The next time something happens it goes on top and so on, till all these unresolved emotions become where you are.

Start with challenging some of your presuppositions-

What is a borderline personality disorder and why did you DECIDE to believe it's true?
Who says you struggle to control inner rage and why do you choose to BELIEVE it?
Why do you CHOOSE to believe that anxiety and fear rule your life

We are all incredible - you are incredible. This may sound wierd but if you brain surf and ask your unconscious mind what the positive benefit of all these feelings are, and find your own true answer - there is one because for EVERY behaviour there is a positive intention, you won't need conventional therapy and life will be good.

No matter what happens you must look for the positive intention or benefit in EVERYTHING and once you get used to thinking like that the glass will always be more than half full

Enjoy the journey and don't look back

Answer 2

I developed agoraphobia after my first child was born. I had panic attack on a bus one day when she was tiny, and that was the start of my misery. It got so bad I could not go up to the school to collect my kids; I could not go shopping; I could do no more than stand at my own front door. to some extent, I still have it nearly 30 years on. i find it very hard to travel in a bus, for however short the journey.
What helped me at the time was that i learned to drive. That meant I was in control of my own travel needs, and could start to relax a bit about that. Driving gave me back my independence, very gradually. These days I work full time, I'm at college, I can go anywhere. At that time, I never thought that I would be able to do these things. therapy will help, but the fear is only feelings; they can't hurt you; you just breathe deeply and let them pass over you. Look at the fear; think -"there's my fear of going outside". reduce it to what it is; just a feeling that you can take control of.
I wish you well.

Answer 3

Irrational fears, those demons that tell us to be afraid of things that cannot hurt us come from the subconscious. These fears keep us from living purposeful lives. A fearful life has only one purpose, and that is to survive the fear to get through the day.

Getting through the day hoping my fears would not get me was my only real purpose. Three weeks of planning just to make a simple phone call was the best existence that I could hope for. And all the while help was just a phone call away. But how was I going to make the call?

The fear to make a phone call and an irrational shyness of peaceful adults left me constantly feeling like I was on the outside looking in. I was watching life happen to other people without participating with them. One can just imagine the depth of pain and suffering these debilitating fears gave me.

Thank God there is Alchemical Hypnotherapy and David Quigley. In just two sessions with David and his Alchemical techniques I am now free of these irrational fears. I make phone calls with ease; I answer the phone with confidence; and it is now easy to join in when there is a group of people across the room having fun.

My life has transformed from the point when people used to ask me why I was frowning and not having fun. Now with this perpetual smile and happy heart, they ask if they might join me!

Do you have irrational fears preventing you from participating in life’s rich pageant? Make the call or maybe a friend will make the call for you. Even further, take the Alchemical Hypnotherapy course and learn how to help yourself and others who have lived their entire existence in fear.

by

http://www.dhaarvi.blogspot.com

Answer 4

I understand your dilemma and your rage. Whatever event(s) gave you BPD were most assuredly unjust and heinous acts committed upon you by another.

And you are not alone.

It's a hard battle, to be sure, to tame the demons of yesterday but it can be done. Continue seeking treatment, and it may not work or it may be inappropriate, but it is the struggle and lesson of your life. (Everyone has their cross to bear, so to speak, everyone has lessons that are very difficult.) So continue and you will find some measure of peace in your soul.

BTW: I just finished a 7 week intensive in-patient therapy called CPT, cognitive processing therapy, to deal with my own issues, some of which I share with you. CPT is fairly new and I'm not sure what country you are in but you might research that topic.

Good luck.
Peace.

Answer 5

The first thing to do is go and talk to your doctor he is there to help,
he may give you some pills that with time will make you feel stronger and able to cope.
Its a start and then take it from there.
try to remember not everybody out there is a nasty piece of work.. there are some nice people

Answer 6

In order to overcome what happened to you, you need to get some counselling. To talk about what happened with a professional who can offer you ways of coming to terms with it would help.

Were you not offered this at the time of the incident?

My heart goes out to you as although I have experienced bad things in my life, things have not got as bad as this for me.

Please get some counselling for your issues as until then I feel you won't be able to move forward with your life.x

Answer 7

Believe me there are a lot of people out there with PERSONALITY DISORDERS. ..........Try to speak to your GP and see if you can get counselling !!!
I am not sure how old you are, and how the past is influencing your present state. I feel you need a bit of support to tackle this one................... The likelyhood of another attack is pretty remote, BUT I can see your point and can only help by advising you to ask to go to a local support group, church group or any other meeting were you feel safe and secure. Good Luck and try to learn to manage your fear by tackling your fear.
A good book to read is :- FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. Thinking of you.............................

Answer 8

you have to take it one step at a time - literally. my friend has agoraphobia and the way she is overcoming it is to take one day at a time and one step into society at a time. try standing at your front door for a while each day to start. then you have the security of knowing you can just close the door if you need to. progress a little each day or two by taking that one extra step. when you start to realise that it is actually safe you'll regain confidence in yourself