we love eachother very much but had gotten into an argument over the weekend, we called eachother names and it hurt both of our feelings (i think it might've hurt me more since i'm a sensitive girl)... we haven't really spoken to eachother since. we've argued before but never did an argument make me so upset with him.
we live together so we still make small talk but i feel so awkward now. i spent 7yrs with this guy so i don't want to throw something away over some b*llshit.
what can i do? i feel like it's not going to work anymore.
2007-03-21 06:57:59 · 9 answers · asked by MIN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HMM I KNOW HOW U FEEL. BEEN W/MY MAN FOR 4 YRS. FOR 5 DAYS WE HAVE NOT SPOKEN MUCH AND HE HAS BEEN REALLY DISTANT AND COLD TO ME ALSO. I EVEN CRIED AND HE JUST GOT MAD WHEN I CRIED. HE TOLD ME ALSO TO GO FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE. SO YEH IT IS SAD AND DEPRESSING. I TRIED TO TALK TO HIM BUT HE ALSO...LIKE ALOT OF MEN DO BACK AWAY AND IGNORE ~ SO WHAT I DO NOW IS IGNORE HIM BACK AND MAYBE HE WILL COME AROUND AFTER THE SILENCE GETS TOO UNCOMFORTABLE...U MIGHT WANNA DO THAT TOO.
2007-03-21 07:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you have learned that name calling and insults should not ever be part of an argument - it doesn't solve anything and normally causes what is going on with you both now. An awkwardness. A favorite saying of mine that helped me with this (and I don't know who it belongs to) is: It only takes a few seconds to open deep wounds but it takes many years to heal them.
I would suggest that one of you be humble and apologize to the other as it doesn't sound like that has been done. I don't think your feelings were hurt more than his just because you are female - men have deep feelings of hurt and rejection, too, only more of them are better at hiding them. After the apology which should be "I am sorry for saying . . . ." and do not add "but" or say I wouldn't have if you wouldn't have - because that is not taking ownership for your part. After that perhaps you two can sit down and agree to not EVER call each other (of family members, etc.. ) names or trade insults when having an argument. If someone is that angry a time out needs to be called until it can be talked about constructively. We are different, not wrong, just different.
Remember, it only takes a few seconds . . .
Good luck. A great learning experience.
2007-03-21 07:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that your asking this question after 7 years is the biggest sign that this relationship is heading downhill and there is indeed some problems and issues between you two. Ofcourse...you could always sit and openly talk with each other about what's bothering you and where the fire sort of went out and what you can do about it? However....just remember to be brutally honest with each other...some things may sound hurtful at the time...but in the long run it's for the best.
2007-03-21 07:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is not on the rocks. Every couple will have a big argument that usually starts over nothing.
I will bet that he is waiting for you to apologize and you are waiting for him to do the same hence the awkward feelings.
Just make the first move and apologize he will do the same and you two will be back to normal.
2007-03-21 07:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there's love, there's hope. stop feeling bad and say sorry first, it doesnt matter who started the fight. tell him you dont want to lose him just because you two had a stupid fight. talk about the way you feel about it and tell him how much you love him and need him in your life. be honest and he will come around. he if is really mad he will ignore you (men need space for some weird reason) so dont let this make you feel bad. do something to surprise him. get him something he will like a lot and then say sorry!
2007-03-21 09:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by chikis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who asks this question usually comes to the table with one foot in and one foot out the door.
You two need to talk, to communicate and then go from there.
2007-03-21 07:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good sign is that you are on YAHOO ANSWER asking this question. It's OVER get on with your LIFE.
2007-03-21 07:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and have a long talk with him
2007-03-21 07:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...welcome to the seven year itch.
2007-03-21 07:07:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋