My friend asked his big friend who he said he's not attracted to, Martha, to bring a second friend so it can be a double date. My friend said after hanging up, "I'll get the friend, you can have Martha" I wondered what he thought I was. It really bothered me because he didn't act like I was going to be upset either. I did feel like he didn't respect my feelings, because he just dumped a girl onto me that HE didn't want because she's not attractive. I just felt like he used me to his advantage and he knew he could do it because I am a shy person.
2007-03-21 06:46:59 · 15 answers · asked by Worlds Greatest Armchair Warrior 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is what I call falling on the grenade. Just Do it dude. Then he owes you a FAVOR. Then you can find a cute girl with a fat friend and he has to return the favor.
2007-03-21 06:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by outlaw_tattoo_biker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you may be 'shy' ... but maybe your friend did you a 'big favor by telling you to take 'the big girl.' Your friend 'knows Martha' and doesn't want to date her ... but it is even more 'risky' for the girls on a 'blind double date' than it is for the boys ... and your friend LIKES Martha and may have told you to 'take her' because he KNOWS you are 'shy' and wanted you to have a 'girl' who was FRIENDLY and NICE, rather than 'the friend' who was an 'unknown factor.' Your 'attitude' seems to be that your 'friend' wasn't being very 'friendly' ... when he may have, in fact, been trying to 'set you up for something REALLY NICE' ... and if you have already been on that date, and weren't 'on your best behavior' to make a 'good impression' on Martha, then I feel very sorry for you ... because you may have just 'passed' on the girl who could 'make your life complete' but you were so 'uptight' that you 'ruined it' for yourself. Next time, try to 'think a bit better and a bit nicer' and see if that doesn't CHANGE THINGS for you for the GOOD.
2007-03-21 08:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard the phrase "you gotta take one for the team", this may apply to you if you get other dates and this one is no big deal. But its sounds like youre a shy person, so its hard to feel disrespected by a friend walking all over you because you dont have the balls to tell him. He is thinking selfishly. If you dont want to be so superficial, try out the date (its not a marriage proposal). If youre mad you got stuck with the fat chick, make up an excuse and sulk about how you never get dates.
2007-03-21 06:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by fabulous13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No problem - just do it and whatever you do - don't let him know that it bothered you. For crying out loud - thank him for it so next time he'll owe you and he won't try to dominate you this way.
Really, if you let him know that it bothered you it'll only tickle him because, what are you going to do about it? But if you let on like it's your turn to do the favor then next time it's his turn.
Make do with the fat girl - usually they're dieing for male attention anyway and show him that he has to do this for you next time. If the large lady is nice - who knows? You're no great catch yourself you know - you could've done worse.
Like My Grandpappy use to say - Life's like the kitchen table - you can't have everything but you sure can have what's there!
Take advantage of what's there son.
Have fun - take them square dancing or something like that - Girls love that stuff and tell her you had a nice time when you go.
Do I have to tell you everything?
2007-03-21 07:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by cheesphht 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider it practice. If you're as shy as you say, this is a good way to get out and talk to someone in a "date" setting. You don't have to do anything with the person. You may even become friends. And having girls as friends is a huge plus on the trustability side of meeting new girls. Fat girls, thin girls, hot girls, ugly girls, they have similar hard wiring inside their head. Get used to talking with any of them and you can talk to all of them. GO for it. Besides, you may have my luck. The last time I was the wingman acting as grenade, the cute one found me more appealing and ignored my friend almost completely. I then had the interest of two girls. Too bad I have a girlfriend :-)
2007-03-21 07:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by killapaddler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why not make the best of it, you never know what will become of it, it may turn out that you like this girl and her in return. I know how you feel tho it was not right of the friend to do that to you, he should have asked you first and he should not have asked one girl to bring another when she probaly thought that she was going to be with him.
Also just because the so called big girl is what she is, you may find that inside her heart lies a field of gold, and this is coming from a big girl who knows.
2007-03-21 06:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by dyersburgdelilah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is expecting you to "take one for the team". It sounds like might like Martha's friend and wants to hang out with her so to do that he had to invite Martha and you. Dont get your feeling hurt. Friends do that for eachother. The next time you can make him "take one for the team"
2007-03-21 06:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw him tell him no way you get Martha and I get the friend If he say no find a new friend. Grow a back bone!
PS Martha is a person who has feeling be nice
2007-03-21 06:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take one for the team... Look on the bright side, You can pull this move on him sometime now. And hey you never know, she might be a really nice fun person to hang out with :) Just at least try to be nice to her when you all go out.
2007-03-21 06:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's high time you start sticking up for yourself. If you look at the big picture, today he's dumping girls he doesn't want on you, tomorrow may be bigger problems. Open your mouth, stand up for your rights- obviously you're the bigger man here.
2007-03-21 06:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by writeaway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋