Why do ex wives become so bitter and use their children to emotionally blackmail the father?

Question

In divorce its so sad some women lower themselves to use their children to extract money from the ex husbands..........why?

or vice versa....apologies MJ

IM HAVING REAL PROBLEMS HERE , CHOOSING A 'BEST ANSWER'............ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Answer 1

I don't know but not all ex wives are like that. I am considering divorcing my husband and know that I will need to be somewhat amicable with him for the kids' sake. Being bitter and using children as pawns is selfish and cruel to the children. It will have detrimental long term effects on them. Depending on their age, they may already be figuring it out and they will resent her one day.

Answer 2

When a women feels hurt or betrayed they want the person who made them feel like this to be hurt too. When you go through a divorce you are going through a very emotional process as are the children and when you are going through an experience like this you need someone to talk to and some need professional help. So instead of getting the help they need, they seek revenge. Unfortunately, children get caught in the middle of a divorce. Now if the husband is not helping out with costs of raising a child like they should be then some women will go to the exteme measure of using their children, when they should actually use the court system. Some women are lucky enough to have friends and/or family that keep their mind focused on their children instead of on revenge.

Answer 3

I dont think they get bitter per say... but they do feel a little scared. I know I will be if my husband would leave me and our child alone. Also some women just feel that is the best way to get back at them for leaving the relationship at the level that it was (with children.) All I know, is that my fiance is divorsed and have a 3yr son who he has to pay child support for- I dont like the fact that his ex gets so much money every month when the money should be going to his NEW home, but I also understand that the boy needs things... and things cost money. Plus, remember that once the husband has agreed to pay child support he has a legal right to be part of the child's life- and that is something most "bitter" ex-wifes dont like... especially when there he has found someone else the kid will be exposed to...so its a two-way situation.

Answer 4

I never did that, even thought I was so hurt about what he did to me. His mistress was the cruel evil one, and she turned on him with time and ran off with another guy she thought had more money than him, which I thought I would have liked to have seen him suffer, but it felt awful as so much got destroyed over reckless behavior, and I had already moved on to better and brighter things for me. Some people become bitter as they can't get over being deceived or hurt, men and women, it is a tough pill to swallow. They should never use the children as emotional blackmail. I don't get a penny from my little's ones father, as he is a mess already, and taking him to court will be the last step to push him over the edge, he has so many problems already. I am lucky I make enough money to cover my bills.Not all ex-wives are from hell, there are few nice ones out there. It is just the bad ones that make a bad name for all of us.

Answer 5

Not all ex wives use their children to emotionally blackmail the ex husbands, my children and my ex have unlimited access 24/7. I receive child maintenance for my youngest child which we both agreed on it is his child too.. AS i recieve this i do not ask for any more money his maintenance feeds him, clothes him, helps towards keeping a roof over his head, his school trips, pocket money and day to day life..

Answer 6

If you are referring to child support, i disagree that this is blackmail. My ex and I agreed on how much income would be required to ensure my kids didnt lose their standard living after the divorce, I have paid tis amount faithfully for 5 yrs. I dont have the slightest problem it. In fact I am very proud that I did what was right for my kids. P.S. My ex wife isnt bitter and we are cordial with each other.

Answer 7

My step-son's mom used to be horrid until she remarried then things got better. Also in the beginning my husband wasn't consistent in paying child support. He'd pay a month at a time then the next month a week at a time and so on. After he started paying EVERY WEEK, ON TIME, SAME DAY to where she could count on it, things improved as well. (I can't tell if you are the ex or you are the girlfriend/wife of the ex but either way...) The sooner you truly accept that she has you by the balls the better you'll be able to handle this for the sake of your kids. The judicial system is and always will be in favor of the mother! Believe me I know!

Best of luck!

Answer 8

Why do ex husbands lower themselves by criticizing the mother of their own children? Why don't these bums just pay the child support ON TIME and help out with the kids, instead of lowering themselves like that?

Answer 9

hear hear.... i have been in three relationships where kids are concerned (no i was not the "other woman" in either) and the ex wives were totally bitter... understanably i know but im a single parent and have cause to be bitter but im not i just get on with it.... i dont do the blackmail bit... i want my kids to enjoy theire younger years... what most divorced couples forget is, is that the kids grow up remembering the anger and resentmens and they will only make their own minds up when they get older.... leave the anger to another room ... where the kids aint in it!... its not the kids fault and id hate to grow up thinking i was a pawn in my parents misery!

Answer 10

Its sad as the inevitable victims are the children. I never ever cussed my ex husband in front of the kids, as much as I hated him. My son is 18 now and it was only a couple of months back that I actually made a negative comment about my ex in front of him.