I don't work I just go to school part time, so I'm pretty much always with my son....but whenever my husband can't watch him or if we go somewhere, my dad watches him. I know my dad spoils him by carrying him around the whole time or rocking him to sleep each time hes fussy, and talking to him the whole time, which is great. It's just that when he sees my dad he gets so excited and wants to be with him immediatly, or cries when he has to leave him. He does not have this response toward me when Ieave, or come back and it hurts my feelings. Does this just happen or does he not love me as much? What should I do to change it? (I stopped breastfeeding around his second month)
2007-03-21 06:41:47 · 16 answers · asked by whoswhomwho 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I had the same problem with my son and my mother, in fact the boy tried to move in with her lol. I got so jealous it even caused arguments between me and my mom but you know what he grew out of it and so will your little guy.
It isn't that he doesn't love you as much, it is just that he spends more time with you. You get busy washing the clothes and bottles and doing the house work your school work and all that.
When he sees Grandpa it is all about him. Grandpa spends all his time playing with him and gives him full attention is probably on the floor and making weird noises he is just more fun because it's only a couple of hours.
It's kind of like the difference between dating and being married.
When you are dating it's full of excitement and good times for that few hours, you hate saying good bye and can't wait to see him or her again, married well it gets old or forgotten you get that attention some times but the world has a tendency of getting in the way.
2007-03-21 06:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by angie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My grandfather showered me with love like that from the moment I was born, just like your dad is with your baby. He and I had a very special, close relationship right up until he passed away when I was 31. I feel so blessed to have had a grandfather who was such a gentle soul, and who adored me. I have tears in my eyes right now as I type this. I miss him a lot and wish he were still here. Thank God that your family is so blessed... Love like that is the most precious gift in the world, and life is fragile, it can be taken from us at any time. Some day your dad won't be here. Give him a hug today and thank him for all his love... You are all so lucky...
(PS: My mother felt jealous of my love for my grandfather too!!! Even in my adulthood!! Don't make the same mistake my mom did. It is sad that she reacted negatively to something that should have filled her heart with happiness. Look at it with clear vision and see it for what it is: the most beautiful blessing you could hope for for your baby and your family...) (I understand your initial feeling of being a little jealous though!!! Just rethink it, feel appreciative for all the love that exists in your family... many people do not have that...) :)
2007-03-21 14:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My oldest sister has 5 kids and is 22. :(BAD I know. But anyways her two oldest are that way and the next two are becoming that way. They even stay the night at their papas house. They even throw a fit to leave with me. But thats because she is ALWAYS trying to put them off on someone else. My little sister has a little girl that is that way about her nanna so if I was you I wouldn't trip. But me I don't leave my son with anyone he goes EVERYWHERE I go the movies the doctor. I don't him that way. I may occasionally leave him if I'm leaving for 5-10 minutes ut if I'm going to be gone for a while I take him. If I am at work I take him to different realtives because I don't want him getting to close to anyone besides me and my fiancee. But he's a good baby thats why we take him everywhwere he's 5 months and we take him to movies and all. If I was you depending on how old he is , because if he's over 3 or 4 hes done to me, i'd start taking him with me as much as possible so it won't get worse ut some children grow out of it...Unlike my sisters kids. But it's pretty much your father having him spoiled to where you may not hold him and all that. My sisters kids are spoiled when it comes to their papa and nanna. But you'll be fine. Don't stress over it.
2007-03-21 13:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by m b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby but, I have a STRONG feeling that I will be experiencing the same things soon. My child will be left with my mom and stepfather once I go back to work and I know that they will spoil her left and right. Especially my mom. It's already happened with my dog..lol (I onl feed him dog food, but when he gets there, he eats everything!)
Anyhow, he's probably just so use to use to having you around that, seeing you is nothing new to him and he knows you'll be back. If you were gone for a long time (like on a vacation) I'm sure he'd act the same way.
I know it's tough but, that's what grandparents are for! To totally do the opposite of what you try so hard to teach your kids:-) Hope this helps a little.
2007-03-21 13:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies go through stages. My 3-yr-old (when he was a baby) always did the same thing with my husband and never seemed to want me. I got so upset and depressed about it. I wondered why he even needed me. You always kind of think that babies are supposed to love mommy the most, but it doesn't always end up that way and then you feel like you are such a horrible person and wonder what you did that was so wrong. I watched what things he liked that my husband did and then I tried doing them with him. He seemed to respond to tickling and that was always the father/son thing. When I started the little tickling thing...it worked. Then we started our own little things...like "girl-germ" kisses from Mommy and he would give me "boy germs". When he started talking he likes to make up all kind of names for his kisses to get a reaction. The latest one is a "poopy kiss" and he loves you to yell yuck and wipe it off so he can get you again! It is a game we play now. I don't think it is the person he is attracted to as much as it is the type of interaction that clicks with your child's blooming personality =) Find out what kind of personality your child has, and the interaction he enjoys, and you can have a whole new relationship! Keep me posted =)
2007-03-21 13:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Trying♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know *really,* but I think it's more like Grandpa is an exciting toy. Kids are always going to like toys, yeah? But you're his MOTHER, and nothing will ever change that. Sorry that I don't have a really good response, but I just wanted to say --
Be really glad that your father is doing all that stuff with his grandkid -- he could have just told you to get a babysitter or put him in day care. It's wonderful that he not only watches your son but interacts with him, too.
2007-03-21 13:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Koz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your son is used to your schedule so he doesn't have the same response to you coming and going. He knows you will be there for him. He doesn't see your dad as often and this creates the different response. I know it can make you jealous and hurt your feelings. I wouldn't take it personally though. My son used to do the same thing with my best friend and it hurt my feelings at first too. I finally decided it was a positive thing though because he knew I was there for him. I think if you worked full time, he would have the same response to you as he has to your dad.
2007-03-21 13:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by iceemama 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too hard on yourself! Of course he doesn't love his Grandpa more than his own Mommy! But, he's got you ALL the time & I'm sure you're the one doing the disciplining, not Grandpa. And it sounds like Grandpa is loads of fun! You are very fortunate for your son to have such a wonderful Grandparent. Celebrate that!
2007-03-21 13:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by M J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are you trying to change, your son's behaviour or your feelings toward it? Cuz it'll definitely be easier to change your own attitude than someone else's behaviour. Accept that your son loves his grandpa, be thankful for their close relationship and remember that as a mother, you will always have a special love from him that no one else ever will. If you're put out now, just wait until he becomes a moody teenager and then you'll really notice a difference in his attention to you!
2007-03-21 13:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't do anything and don't let it make you feel bad. This is normal, they feel when another person gives them more affection and time. It has nothing to do with how much he loves you. Relax, be happy that you have your dad there for you and that he cares so much for your son.
2007-03-21 13:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by Carmen M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋