Confused!! Am I a lesbian?

Question

I'm 21 and never dated anyone in my life. I've never had the feelings nor have I felt that I was attracted 2 anyone. When my friends r droolin over which guy is hot, I dont c it or I just look @ them and think, yea they're not bad but eh so? I have a hard time seein that a guy is good lookin, whereas a girl I sometimes think, she's pretty. Then one day I came across the show The L Word and it changed me, i started to see maybe I've been lookin for the wrong thing all this time. I've pretty much watched all the lesbian theme movies and read some books 2 try 2 learn more. I find myself checkin out girls more. This guy I met the other day, has been tryin 2 get me 2 go c a movie with him but I'm pretty iffy bout being with a guy. Was I just influenced from the the show? Maybe the rite guy 2 hasnt come along yet? Am I just curious? Help plz

Answer 1

Even if you decide you're not a Lesbian, there is nothing wrong with experimenting with a girl. Life is about finding a good partner for yourself.

Answer 2

Yes, you can recognize prettiness in a girl and that doesn't mean you're a lesbian. You are a girl and you've been looking in mirrors all your life - at what - a girl! You've fine-tuned your feelings about what you see. You have some pretty clear ideas about what you think is attractive. I'll be that you hesitated to spend a lot of time staring at boys you see or men that you meet. And if you pick up any magazine that you frequently read, start counting the ads that feature women - they will far outnumber the ads that picture men.
That's no accident. Women will spend a lot on clothing and care that other women think they are fashionable. That's not gay, that's true in practically every culture in the world.
Men will buy several suits to last a few years. They will wear jeans and care about what they look like when they dress casually but nowhere near as much as women do.
So much for looking at women vs. looking at men.
Then there's the titillating feelinig of watching other women basically look at other women. It's kind of like masturbating. Repetitive with some variations. Doesn't require a lot of interaction. Definitely not leading anywhere but to more masturbation.
Except you masturbate someone else. That's pretty much it, for life. A vibrator works too.
You're pretty young at 21. If you have never dated, you have been cheating yourself but also protecting yourself. There may be some inhibiitions there, maybe fears, that contact with men - and what that leads to, which in this life means long-lasting commitment, children and family life. You can buy time by masturbating other women but ultimately, is that the life you always dreamed of? You will one day be older and regretful that it was a waste of time and basically your timing was lousy in realizing how much fun there is to be had interacting with the opposite sex.
A good counselor can explore these issues with you. In the meantime, of course the right guy hasn't come along. You will find him by dating. Don't be so fricking lazy (another characteristic of the lesbian lifestyle is you have fewer people to choose from, even fewer you will like, but almost anyone can relieve your sexual tension - hey, guys do that too - and sex toys.)
Get out there and mingle. A gay bar is an entertaining show but it's not real life.

Answer 3

Of course not you're not lesbian. I'm 18 still a virgin never went out with any guy yet I have so many female friends does that mean I'm lesbian? NO. I just think it's not the right time for me to date anyone, I haven't come across the right guy yet. And girl please don't listen to those that say "It's okay you're experimenting blah blah blah this happens that happens" no way, you DO not do such experiments, it's ridiculous. Believe me I find some girls extremely gorgeous and I say they're "hot", but not in "another" way, you see. So no, you ain't lesbian and stop watching those lesbian shows it's only going to get you more and more confused than you already are. It's true you should be what you are, but it doesn't mean you should choose a wrong path thinking "yay I'm being me!" no girl, be what you are for sure but you have to change yourself for your own good interest sometimes, I know I did :-). I'm a tomboy, and I love being me although some people tell me I'm weird, I don't change for them because I think I'm being me and there's nothing wrong with being a tomboy, but being a lesbian? Girl being a lesbian is going against your religion (that's if you're religious), and going against everything.. look, some lesbians and gays say "God made us that way" it's not true, God did not make them that way, if that was the case God would have allowed gays and lesbians to have babies. You know you're just thinking that you're a lesbian cos unlike some girls you don't go around calling every guy a "hottie" and thinking of messing around with them, be glad you're not like those hoes. Don't worry hon you'll be alright, just stop watching n reading those weird stuff it's not gonna help you it's gonna make it worse and I think you're too young to think of all that and you should be paying attention to your career right now, time changes feelings and the way you think, I wish you ALL the best :-)

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with experimenting with different people. Hey, give the guy a chance...go see the movie. It's only a movie. If there is a girl you are interested in, see where it leads. You are at a stage in your life where discovery can be so much fun. Just make sure, you are safe and discreet. Finding out who you are can be frustrating to say the least. Never close the door on something you don't completely understand. An open mind will get you very far in life as there are all sorts of people you will deal with on a daily basis. Find your bliss and go with!!

Answer 5

if u dont feel a physical attraction to boys then you are definetly lesbian!!!! maybe u should try to date a female or go to a gay club and see what happens.

i kno what u mean about the L word. that show changed my life!!! it actually helped me come out and now its my favorite show!!!!!! i love being the real me (a lesbian) u might just be one too

Answer 6

Try both, physically. And see which do you like better. You probably are being influenced by the show. Or maybe you just don't like that guy.

Answer 7

you said you've never been attracted to anyone? that doesn't make you a lesbian but it doesn't make you straight either. i mean the only thing that makes you a lesbian is being attracted to girls only. if you're attracted to both your bisexual and if you're not attracted to either you're asexual. i suggest you don't go out with a guy if you feel iffy about it.

Answer 8

Why is our era so obsessed with sex and sexuality? Can't be just find the right soul out there and settle down?

Oh and eeeewww... I just dunno what do do if I'm with a guy...

Seriously, why don't you get out there and try dating them both? Not at the same time of course. ;) Then you gauge your interest... Oh and yeah, I really mean it earlier, if we obsess too much with sexuality, we might miss the best thing that is right before our eyes.

Answer 9

it's always good to keep ur eyes opem. u never kno. i'm bi, and i realize that guys get less and less like people and more like toys if u get what i'm sayin. u've probably been surrounded by gurls longer and u have more trust for them. hey, u will meet a gurl one day who is just like prince charming, except in a different body.

Answer 10

well you could not have found the right guy or your a lesbian but to make sure you could try to go out with a girl and see how it feels.