Serious question...?

Question

Ok here it is try to stay with me.. Me and my wife have BOTH did hurtful things to each other and recently I have devoted my life to God I know im not perfect and never have claimed to been. Jesus has saved me from my sins. I have told her I was sorry for all the things I have done to her and I have begged for her forgiveness, I have already forgave her for yes mentally abusing me because what kind of person would I be if god has forgiving me and I cant forgive all the things she has done still hurts but I truly have forgave her in my heart. I still love her and want to wok things out but she has such anger inside, to the point that she says she doesn’t love me any more and wants a divorce, I know for some people forgiveness comes in time but she is not even willing to work on it. I never hit her but have done some bad things and said some bad things out of anger to but god is taking over my life and changing me with or without her, I have giving up drinking and started to go to

church and turn my life over fully to god because he is #1 in my life now.

also look at her question to

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap0sYy9BLC2H8dgikzFrn_bsy6IX?qid=20070321092027AAIPkUW

Answer 1

Ok...I've read your question and your wife's. In fact, I've already responded to her. Here is my response to you.

For someone who is claiming to have giving their life over to God you sure are doing alot of BLAMING still. Let's see "me and my wife have BOTH did hurtful things...", "I have already forgave her for yes mentally abusing me...", "all the things she has done still hurts but...", "she has such anger inside". "she is not even willing to work on it". ect, ect....

Ok...I know you took some blame too, but look at all the blaming that you laid at HER feet. I have a feeling that if this is how you TALK to her that she is not "seeing" or "hearing" God in you at all. What she is seeing and hearing is someone that is wanting to be forgiven NOW and expects everything to be forgotten.

Listen, she has not had an experience with God like you have had recently. AND even if she had.....she still needs to know that you are in the Christianity lifestyle for the LONG HAUL. She doesn't want to put her heart out there, forgive and forget, only to have you decide that God didn't really work out to well, and start treating her like you used to.

I know that is not what you want to hear.....and it may not seem fair. But, even Christ had to PROVE himself to his disciples over and over. Did that mean that Christ finally said "the heck with you guys". No, Jesus was patient, kind and took all the time they needed so that they would believe. JUST LIKE HE DID WITH YOU. Doesn't your wife deserve the same?

Answer 2

Well. Wow. Thats hard. The thing is if she doesnt love you anymore than you have to deal with the fact that she doesnt and probably never will again love you. I know its hard but things happen. You both screwed up with the things you did wrong. Im sorry. The best thing to do is probably to get a divorce. I know that might sound mean or bad but would you rather her hurt you more or move on with your life and find someone else who loves you.

Answer 3

OK. First of all, congrats on finding God, yourself, and for giving up drinking.

That being said, forcing someone to believe and forgive is just about as bad as not forgiving, innit?

God has a plan for everyone, and at this point forgiveness isn't part of the plan for the other half.

Answer 4

Give Caesar what is his...this means that a price will be paid on Earth for your sins. Jesus has forgiven your sins if you are truly repentant. Divorce is the only recourse now if your wife is not willing to forgive.

Move on and start over.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Just because you accepted Christ as your savior and realize that he has forgiven your sins doesn't mean they are washed away. You still have to prove your worthiness to your wife. I understand your wife's view on this. You think that by the Grace of God all is well in the world. It takes years to build trust. You cannot expect your wife to be "over it." If anything, I think both of you need some therapy.

Answer 6

If the situation is as bad as you say, there may indeed be nothing that you can do to persuade her to forgive you. You cannot control her....that could be a mistake that you are making right now, trying to control her.
If you have truly taken God into your life, you will believe that everything happens for a reason and he must have other intentions for you.

Answer 7

First it's good that you have realized that through GOD all things are possible. All you do now is give anything that is troubling you to him (GOD). He is watching over you now & has already set in motion your destiny & what life is to be for you now. Don't try to force things to happen from here on out, if it's ment to be, it will be. Just keep the faith & and know that the lord up above is watching over you.

Answer 8

Good for you that you have found GOD. But just because you have found it easy for GOD to forgive you, dont expect that others are supposed to follow in your footsteps.
We all walk down our own path of life. Accept it....seems like it's to be withOUT her. It may be the best for you both.

Answer 9

You didn't ask a question. But if you had it should have been....

What do you do when your wife does not forgive you for the bad things done in the past?

Nothing. There is nothing you can do. You have forgiven her so there is nothing else you can do.

Answer 10

god may have forgiven you ... but she obviously hasn't. she has made up her mind already , and i'm sorry to say that divorce sounds like her answer. Kudos to you for quiting the drinking thing, but maybe the rum that you drank left a bad taste in her mouth.