Question Details: I am appreciative for the life growing inside me I was just wondering if anyone had any tips or mistakes they have learnt from as far as how a baby changes a marriage. we are newlyweds and we planned to start a family in about 2 years, but our baby girl is 3 months away! we have been married for only 6 months. is there any advice you can give me that will help us keep our marriage fresh and new at least for a year? I know there must be some little tips and things we could do for each other. thank you for any advice.
2007-03-21 06:31:18 · 9 answers · asked by Beluga 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
We had a baby drop in on us literaly overnight. We adopted a little girl who was born the day after we found out about her. And while we had been trying to adopt for 3 years, we really thought we would have more of a chance to get used to the idea than 24 hours. When that happened it did put a little bit of a crunch on our relationship, but we decided that we were not going to let that happen. We have done a few things and it is working very well, we starting having at least one night out every week. Sometimes we plan something to bring the kids with, sometimes we plan things that do not involve the kids. We also have started reading books on marriage. The one we are working on right now is called simoky romantic sercrets by Mark Whitlock, Dennis & Barbar Rainey. You could find it at cbd.com
We don't always read books about romance, we read books about communication and many other marriage related topics.
Hope this helps, congrats on the new marriage and the baby! Your relationship is in your hands, and can stay fresh, but it takes work.
2007-03-21 06:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Baby makes three! Yes a baby changes everything. Especially the first months when the baby relies solely on his parents to take care of every need. I would suggest having a date night where you and your husband can get out once a week just the 2 of you maybe for only 2 hours or so but tis' still something to keep conncected to each other. maybe on the other nights plan a movie night ( b/c it will be awhile till you get to the theater again!) rent a movie and after you put the baby down snuggle up together to the movie! Good Luck--by the way i'm the the same boat!
2007-03-21 06:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by nicole b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest talking about how you want to do things with the baby: doctor, vaccinations, feeding, etc now while you are still pregnant and dont have to make a swift decision. Also make sure that you put each other first. My husband and I are newly married and just had a baby one of the biggest things that we have learned is how to communicate about everything. Before we would be able to just do what we wanted but now we have each other and the baby to consider.
Congrats on the marriage, wedding, and new baby on the way!
2007-03-21 06:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by Tori's Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First few years are the hardest. If it ever gets to the point you just want to give up... step back and remember why you fell in love to begin with.
Babies are demanding. But make time for just you and him. Call up grandma, an aunt, babysitter- anyone... just get yourselves some alone time to be a 'couple' again.
Keep lines of communication open always. Even if you are going to disagree... its more important to know the truth and reasoning behind actions and feelings then to pretend they don't exist to save yourselves from an arguement.
ALWAYS validate each others feelings- even if you dont agree with or understand... it's so so important to say "Ok, I understand where you are coming from," or, "I'm sorry that I don't understand where you are coming from, but I can clearly see you are obviously upset/mad/sad etc."
Validation and Communication are 2 very simple simple ingredients in a good relationships recipe- it's amazing how many people lack it.
Remember.... be spontaneous (forever! not just in the first year)
You want him to bring you home flowers every once in a while, he wants to come home to you wearing something sexy for him too every now and then... !
Give him smooches for no reason... write him love notes and leave them in his car/truck/briefcase/lunch box/bathroom... wherever! If he doesn't know they are coming, they will make him smile and thats the most important thing.
Always let him know how much you love him, and he will WANT to do the same in return.
2007-03-21 06:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some couples feel like the baby is taking their spouse away from them, unnecessarily jealous. Definitely have some alone time together at least once per week... keep the romance alive, and enjoy being a family! Everything happens for a reason and we don't always know what that is, but it looks like you two were meant to have this child at this time regardless of careful planning.
2007-03-21 06:39:17 · answer #5 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to a friend of mine. They also conceived on their honeymoon and to make matters worse, they really didn't know each other well and she's only 20!
I would just try your hardest to communicate and not take out the stresses of having a baby out on each other. Learn as much together as possible and try to get as much help as possible from others (have a parent come stay with you, for instance). Also, take care of yourselves! Exercise, eat right...I know it sound silly but it does wonders for people's moods!
2007-03-21 06:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by Waiting and Wishing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! A baby is wonderful even if it wasn't planned! You will be so much closer with your husband once the baby is born! Even though you weren't expecting it you seem like you are in a loving relationship and your baby is going to have a great home!
2007-03-21 06:35:55 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful Brunette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant on my honeymoon as well. You will be fine.
My only advice would be not to forget about your relationship. Its so easy to concentrate on this wonderful new baby about to be born but find a trustworthy babysitter and go out about once a month.
Good luck and congratulations
2007-03-21 06:37:58 · answer #8 · answered by jon jon's girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after the baby comes, at least once a week make a date night
and go out for a hour or two and have some alone time
2007-03-21 06:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by mncltrr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋