Was I right? What would she be thinking now?

Question

O.K My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. She gave pretty feeble excuses, and we had been dating for a year. I had no contact whatsoever with her, until she asked the other day if i would mind going for a drink with her as friends. I went along...we just argued...and she spent the whole time telling me about a guy friend she met up wiv 4 1st time in 3yr...i stupidly admitted i loved her, and said that this whole friends thing wasnt working, and i walked out of the room. Since, I get texts saying how hurtful she was,sorry,& could we be friends.i ignored her.she then asks my friends have they seen me today cos she's worried about me!Anyway,yest i had enough,& textd her back saying that she hurt me 2much & to leave me alone,i said u've moved on,so should i.anyway,she replied saying she still has feelings 4me,& misses parts of our relationship,but doesnt want to date again.i agreed to meet her 4drink 2moro, but i backed out..then she said she was naive 2 think friends would work

Answer 1

She sounds really immature and doesn't know what she wants. She is trying to make you jealous and is playing the field...wants to keep you stringing along, but at a safe distance in case someone better comes along. Just drop her and don't let her hurt you anymore.

Answer 2

In my opinion.. you both have good and bad points. She WAS hurtful to you; she shouldn't be telling you about other men, and definitely not asking for relationship advice with them. She did, however, try and make up for her insensitivity... and it seems she's making a genuine effort to salvage this situation as best as possible and be friends... the comment about being naive comes off reeking of 'guilt trip' though. Proceed with caution on that one.
Now, here's the part that you don't want to hear.. your pros and cons. I know that breaking up with someone is a bad experience, whether you've been dating for two weeks or two years. I also understand that you're hurting-- but you're right. If she doesn't want to date, you should try and move on, find someone else. As for admitting to loving her.. maybe not the best time for it, but at least it's out in the open now. She knows how you feel, and that's all you can do.
Long story short, it 'sucks' that you have to go through this, and right now trying to act out being just friends might just be rubbing salt in the wound. If you really do want to still be friends, give her a call. Let her know that right now it's a touchy subject, and that you'd like a little time to work things out.. separately. Just make sure she knows you're not brushing her off- maybe promise to set up a night to go grab drinks a week or two later, and let your tempers simmer a bit.

Answer 3

I would almost be willing to bet that the only thing she is thinking right now is how she can come up with another way to keep you on her leash. You are the only one who can make you happy. This little game she is playing seems to me like she wants to see how much control she can have over you... She might have issues in her life that she cant control and so she is using you as that substitute because she thinks its going to help her not feel insecure about the other issue or issues.... you are doing everything right by not playing her game. you have feelings too and you have to watch out for you... stand firm without being a jerk and let her know that if you cant be together like before, that you dont want any part of the game that she is trying to play...

Answer 4

Feeble excuses sound like she met someone else - it didnt work out or hasnt worked out yet but she wants to keep you as back up just in case :( When you've dated that long friends is possible...just not right away. You need your time to get over your feelings and so does she, especially if she doesnt want to get back together. Tell her you need your time to heal up and if she really cares about you she'll respect that you guys can be friends someday...just not today

Answer 5

I don't think that you are trying to be mean...you just dont want to be hurt again. You did it the right way. You gave it an opportunity to try things out as friends and it didnt work out for you. As long as you were honest with her and told her how you felt instead of just ignoring her without an explanation. It's a good thing that you are looking out for yourself. Break up's are never easy. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 6

You responded truthfully an sincerely. You don't need to feel bad about being emotionally honest with someone you were dating for a year.

I think she has been honest with you also. For some reason she would like to move on in her life and consider you as a friend.

I would suggest that you accept her decision, and be friendly with her, but not try too hard to "be her friend" or to see her. You need time to heal and forget, and an opportunity to move on, as well.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Try not to ruin it forever by saying really mean things (even if true) because in a year or so you will want to hang out and it won't work. As for now keep your distance and you will be over it in 4 months.

Answer 8

Move on! She hurt you, and you still have feelings for her but you are smart enough to want to move on. She knows you have feelings and wants to feed her ego off that. Don't let her play with your feelings! Also, she might want to keep you near her, but not with her in case it doesn't work out with the other guy. You seem like a nice guy, please, move on, forget her and try finding a deserving girl.

Good luck!

Answer 9

i think you did good telling her that you think itz best for you to move on because if you try to hold on to her you will only hurt yourself more but i think she was wrong for treating you how she did if she know you had feelings for her but it is best that you two remained friends insted of going apart

Answer 10

sounds like she wants "her cake and eat it to" like not wanting u to go in case she needs to use u int he future --but also wanting to see what else is out there. She's a user and my philosophy is "when thou art more cruel than she--then love will be kind to thee"