Why cant I stop????

Question

I was doing well. I was not talking to my ex for 3 weeks. He called me to pick up his son on Monday. I let my son go with him when he brought him home I was in my shorts and a long top. He just looked at me and asked me if my boyfriend was coming over. I don’t know were he get that I am seeing someone, but I don’t think its any of his business if I am. I just smiled and said thanks for bringing him home. On his way out he said u look good in those shorts and LOL. I closed the door. The next night he called me to see if he could see his son and I said yes it was early I had no problem it when he comes over at 9:55 to see him when I say no. He knows that I have a weakness for him and we end up having sex. I had promised myself I wasn’t goin to this again. My question is how can I stop falling for him? I’m really trying I know he is seeing other woman I just can’t help it. Help me please!!!!!

No he doesn’t want to work thing out. He said he needs to explore. Man it not like he is 18 or 21 his 34year old man.

Answer 1

First thing first it's way to many diseases out there to be weak for any man. If it's over it's over stop sleeping with him and giving him the pleasure of knowing you're weak for him. He's using his son as an excuse to get to you, you know this yourself. Stop putting on little shorts and dressing sexy when you know he is coming, as a matter of fact let him pick up his son from a family member house. I'm pretty sure there is a way to avoid seeing him every time he comes to pick up his child. Have more respect for yourself as a woman and a parent, don't let this man make you look like a fool in the long run. Remember men don't take sex as personal as women, so having sex with you is just something to do to past his time. Why get your feelings all involved when you know it's not worth it. Be strong and just say NO!

Answer 2

I had an ex that was like yours, and it was hard as we still had chemistry even though it was unhealthy for me to be with him. I had a guy friend of mine and he said you need to think like a man, go out and meet a hot guy that you think is great and have sex with with him. I said I can't do it, but I did know a hot guy that I thought was very sexy, after having my heart dragged through the mud a few more times. I took my friend's advice and it came together well for me and the hot guy, and the sex was wildly great, and at the end of the sex moment I realize what I just did was all I had with my ex, and that I wanted so much more from a relationship than the sex, it was quite an eye opener, and some women could never do it, but like you said he is already all wrong for you, it will be very clear after that. That all you have at the moment is intense chemistry, a chemistry you could have with many others under the right circumstances. It will be hard for you as you have a child together, and your maternal instincts will want to make it a family all the time, but he has to be good to you, and give up the other girls.

Answer 3

Wow, I hear ya. I have been involved with a man like that. First, you need to BELIEVE that you deserve better! He sounds very selfish, and the only time he wants you is when there is a possiblity that you might be moving on with your life. It took me 2+ years of him doing the same kind of things to me, but I must say, when he calls now, I don't even want to see him or do anything with him.
Be patient with yourself, but you have to decide whether or not this is the way you want to live your life. Is this the way that you want to be treated? Do you want your son to grow up believing that it is alright for him to treat women this way?
Move on, date other men, you will find that not all men are like this (although there seems to be a large population of men like this in Wisconsin, LOL). Just practice dating and going out and having fun with other men(make sure that you are upfront with them). Trust me, you will one day look back and wonder what the heck you ever even liked about him. You can do better than him and you deserve better! Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 4

I think you keep falling for him cause its availability, you are doing things to keep him attracted too you as well. like when seeing him you have on little shorts and a long shirt, its like the mystery of what you have on . It has his mind going thinking of what kind of message you are trying to send him.

You need to figure out what is it about him that keeps you going back for more, and while you are doing that you need to figure out how you are truly making yourself feel. You can help it you just have to want to do it .. When you see him, and or he comes to visit keep it brief let it center around yall son and nothing else, if he is at your home keep it in the living room and just talk about what is going on with your son. This way you will be able to maintain that parental relationship.

Answer 5

I think its time to estabilish visitation rights for your X. Hire an attorney to help you establish visitation and custody. Then your X will have to follow the guidelines. For you, I think it would also be wise if drop off/pick up was at a public place that way there is no temptation to have sex with him.

You're breaking down because you do care and love him. Although you know he's using you, you crumble because you are still emotional weak. You'll get stronger with time.

Answer 6

You take a look in the mirror, and you realize that this man is USING you. He blew it....now he needs to just get steppin', and live the life he wanted to live. You are letting him have his cake and eat it too. Do you want to end up with some kind of std just because you couldn't "Just Say No"? Let me tell you something, I understand temptation, and I will admit it's harder than anything to abstain, but it IS doable. Seriously. Once you do it the first time (say no) it just gets easier with every time you say it after that. Please yourself BEFORE he comes to pick up the kid and maybe you won't be in the mood. LOL

Answer 7

Sounds like you are a glutton for punishment....My only suggestion would be to move somewhere that it is not too far away but far enough that he can't just call up and come over. Girl if you don't it will be this same hellish way until one of you grows up enough to know what it is that you exactly want.

Answer 8

Go out and start exploring, too. Do things to get your mind off of him. As long as you know that this isn't going to "work out", and are realistic about it, his hold on you will gradually lessen. There's nothing wrong with giving in to have sex with him, but you have to try and work on your situation, try to move on. Get out and meet new people, and perhaps you will find something that will give you strength to let go of the ex.

Answer 9

First you need to not sleep with him anymore this is just hurting you. Have him pick your son up at decent hrs and maybe even arrange a place for him to pick your son up at that will have ppl around or even at a public place so that he doesnt have that upper hand to get you riled up.

Answer 10

You know what guys like him call women like you behind your backs?

"Stupid broad"

"Dumb b*tch"

"Easy lay"

"F*ck and chuck"

"Hit it and quit it"

"Booty call"

"Dumb a*ss"

Hint: you are being used. He KNOWS you "have a weakness" and he will screw you for free until you finally wake up hating him all the more. Like he cares - he is getting "free p*ssy" and that is ALL that matters. User guys dream about finding a gullible, naive sap like you to use up then crumple and toss away like a soda can. Then you are ruined for any good guys who come along.

Just friggin beauitful how this will turn out.