I've known my boyfriend for about 5 months and he had to move back to Australia (where he's from). He's going to be coming back in October for 6 months and at the end of the 6 months we're thinking about going to the courthouse and getting married. This would be a small ceremony and we wouldn't tell my parents about it (they would be upset that they couldn't come), we would onlyt tell a select few people. So, it would basically be a "secret wedding". We would then have a larger ceremony with all of our friends and family about a year later. Is this a good idea?
2007-03-21 05:59:30 · 23 answers · asked by Lauren S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to do what's best for you, but I can tell you that keeping your marriage a secret is a bad idea. It will hurt your friends and family if they find out the truth.
My wife and I got married in a courthouse without telling anyone. I was getting ready to go on deployment with the Navy, and I wanted to make sure she was taken care of if something happened to me. We had been together off and on for 6 years before this, so it wasn't rushed.
After we got married, we went home for 2 weeks and told everyone. We explained that we wanted to get married without the stress of a wedding, but that we wanted to have a ceremony after I got back from deployment. It worked out great, and everyone was really supportive.
I think you should do what you feel is best, but to break it to your family however you need to without hiding it.
2007-03-21 06:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by ski4ever1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure about the secret part. I've known people to get married by eloping and then having a big reception some time down the road, but they weren't secret weddings. Everyone knew about the marriage. The rest sounds fine, except the secret part. I think your parents would be more hurt you kept it from them than them not being able to be there. I know that's how I would feel anyway, if my kids got married and didn't tell me.
2007-03-21 13:07:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever makes you happy.. but i don't understand why you want to keep it a secret.. especially from your parents. I think they are going to be more upset when they find out about it later, (and they will).. keep it small if you like but tell you parents and explain the situation. Don't disrespect your parents by keeping them in the dark about this
2007-03-21 13:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the relationship between you and your parents, but starting out "secretly" married isn't going to go well with family members or friends. You would be starting out with a lot of resentment when they find out. I personally wouldn't think of excluding my family from my wedding. I would be cheating them out of sharing my happiness and they would never get over it. I don't see the plus side of that decision.
2007-03-21 13:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by Beckers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no its not a good idea. you want to get married so he can stay in the country. if you want to get married to the guy, do it right. make him propose, tell your parents, do the ceremony the first time, ect ect. how are you gonna explain wearing a ring on your left hand to your parents unless your planning on not wearing one? secret weddings dont work, and neither does marrying someone so they can stay in the country.
2007-03-21 13:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to exclude your family from this??? Their baby girl is getting married, they would want to be their and it would be wrong for you not to tell them after all they are the ones who gave you life....
It is not wrong to get married at the court house in fact that is how my husband and i got married, we married at 18 and 20 and we had another wedding a year later, but you should really tell your family..
Are you going to have any witnesses? you will need to! We had to have at least to witnesses their, and they were my family:)
2007-03-21 13:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you would rather select a few other people rather then your parents? Why in the world would you do that?
Just have your parents, his parents and the two of you.
If you're happy about getting married why would you what to keep that from your parents? They would have reason to be hurt!
2007-03-21 13:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the 6 months is over before deciding to marry him, you may find out he's really not the one for you.
2007-03-21 13:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married without my family around because I didnt want them to start any bs. I kind of regret it cuz a few of my family members actually supported it. Its a good idea if your family isnt your support system and your friends are.
2007-03-21 13:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by Tigger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad Idea. Never start something this important on a lie. Tell the parents.
2007-03-21 13:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by loki239 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋