My mother in law pretends to be a simple loving women but in reality she is two faced and trying to cause problems in my already shakey marriage. How do I get her the hell out of our lives and how do I get my husband to realize what she is doing? For example: She talks about her son to me but then talks about me to her son.
2007-03-21 05:36:57 · 21 answers · asked by L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she acts so high and mighty but is uneducated and and has enabled all her sons. One son is divorced already and has a new girfriend who is now the new star of the family because she listens to my mother in law and has not had to deal with her crap yet. Needless to say my mother in law did not to a very good job raising her children and now she tries to control my children. She watches them while my husband and I are at work. I have begged my husband to let me put them in daycare but he refuses. I am afraid she will ruin my kids like she did hers. I think she want to get my husband to divorce me so she can try to take my kids and raise them as her own. The women need to go!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-21 05:58:57 · update #1
Don't talk to her about you and your husbands problems and let your husband know that you think she is too involved in your issues, and would like him not to discuss them with her.
I disowned my mil and step-mil. Don't need their dysfunctional BS in my life.
2007-03-21 05:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the case, you two have to put your heads together and solve this one.
I know of a similar case and they actually seperated and the bad mouthing continued, until one of the children over heard a conversation and reported to one of the adults.
This was a mother who was a nasty sort and wanted to because trouble cause she had bad marriage and was a very negative person.
Misery loves company as they say, so get together and beat this woman at her own game.
You must set up a time when you can sit down at night and discuss what has been said to the other by "Mom" and then talk and discuss it.
There is usually no foundation for the accusations and you have to realize she is trying to sabotage your marriage.
Once you both know this, then you both stop listening to her and stop reacting,. No more accusations towards your spouse.... no more games.
You have to trust one another and only as a team will you defeat her ugly meddling.
you both need to confront her together tell her you know what she is doing and if she doesn't stop you will cut her out of your lives.....
She will probably put on a good show of hurt and I didn't and so on, don't be fooled a witch has many tools to soften your conscience and make you feel bad.
Don't fall for it and get this together immediately.
you stop calling her and you start screening your calls with caller id. let her leave messages, do not respond, let her think about what she has done.
Be adamant and don
t be a fool, she knows how to play you two against each other., it is like a spoiled child.....
She is poison to your marriage, you must stop her immediately...
2007-03-21 05:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the two of you are committed to one another, she shouldn't be a problem. The problem is that you aren't dealing with her in the correct way. Whenever she comes to you and wants to talk about your husband (her son), no matter if what she is saying is all the things you've wanted to say about him, tell her that you don't appreciate her talking about your husband to you. your husband should do the same thing when and if she talks about you to him. Once she finds she can't get a foot in the door with either of you, she'll stop. It may take some time, but it will be worth it.
2007-03-21 05:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i have a mother in law similar to that. I would just confront them both tell her that you love your husband and that your trying to do everything you can to work the marriage out but its very hard when it seems like she's talking down about you to him. Tell her its not helping matters any. tell your husband that you cant take any more of your mother in laws butting in all the time that the only way your marriage is going to work is if you two deal with it alone tell him no more talking about you and your problems to your mother in law its dosent help any its none of her business any how. if all else maybe you should move to another town like i did. i live 2 hours away from our family and i think it saved my marriage.
2007-03-21 05:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know she is two faced then you need to keep your distance. I would not discuss anything with her. Give her no response. If she talks about your husband tell her you are not going to discuss it and she needs to take the matter up with him. Your husband needs to be a man here and tell her he is not interested in hearing her bad mouth you if she has a problem with you she needs to talk to you about it. Neither of you have done that. You both entertain her behavior. As far as the kids go I would put them in a program and tell your husband they need to be around other kids and learn something even social skills. The both of you need to be on the same team. If you are united then nothing she says or doses will hurt your marriage.
2007-03-21 07:58:15 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your story. The thing about me is that I finally had enough and stood up to her and she knew then that the stuff she was doing was going to stop or else. She would tell her son one thing and then me another. I caught her in so many lies until it was not funny. She found out also that after I had a match with my ex that if he didnt stand up to her that he was out of my life and my kids life. I was tired of having a moma's boy on my hands. You just need to take a stand on this issue and dont back down.
2007-03-21 07:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by lz_adam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all mother in laws are like that you have her baby boy. she wants the attention from her son. parents strive on quality time with there children. invite her over to eat lunch or dinner let her help u cook u will proably go through hell but if ends up working out lucky you.
good luck
2007-03-21 05:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by country girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Record the conversation she has with you about her son. That way you can play it back to your husband so he really believes that you are telling the truth. Confront him and HER together at the same time and get it all out. Good luck
2007-03-21 05:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to our club.
About a year ago I listened to my friend and laid the law down with my wife that she better quit talking with her parents about me behind my back and she quit doing it.
Now it's gotten worse again. I would say something but I'm out of work and don't have much of an upper hand but things are looking up and I'm going to have to lay down the law again.
2007-03-21 05:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by Matthew L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I know what you are going through and Honestly the only real thing to do is move a state away so she can't visit on a daily basis.My Mother in law remarried last year and they go away to Mexico all winter and come back in march it is a Great Thing.
2007-03-21 05:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Dew 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋