I met my best friend Amanda about 1 year ago. She was about 5 months pregnant when I met her. We became good friends pretty quickly. I have always been there for her through dropping everything I am doing to help her when she's upset, taking her places, and giving her advice which she never listens to. She has since had her baby and has broken up with her boyfriend and moved farther away. She has gone into a kind of party phase and doing stupid things. I get mad when she tells me about it because I think she needs to focus on her baby. Everytime we talk I have to listen and console her but THE SECOND I start talking about me she changes the subject to something about her. This seems one sided but she's all I have really. It depresses me so bad. I think she just uses me but I don't know how to fix it.
2007-03-21 05:19:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A true friend is one who will accept the "give and take" of a relationship, be there for you as much as you've been there for them, not put you into a "bad" situation, accept as well as give advice (whether it is used or not), allow you to bounce ideas off them, and accept you for who you are.
It sounds to me as though your "friend" is really a "taker and user" instead of a true friend. In this case, put yourself first. If what she is telling you makes you uncomfortable and she won't listen to what you have to say on the subject, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and the reasons why. This will do one of two things: either it will allow the friendship to grow with more openness and honesty OR she will stop talking to you altogether. Either way, you will know exactly where you stand.
Good Luck! I've been there. It's a hard decision to make, but you need to take care of yourself first.
2007-03-21 05:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear she is treating you like that. Have you tried telling her that she is being selfish? Tell her exactly like you explained it here. Maybe you could drop her a message. One thing is for sure, this girl is taking you for granted and she is using you big time. Just like ANY relationship, it takes 2 people to work together as a team. She is not a team player and she is selfish. Even if she is the only friend you have, why would you want to continue to let someone treat you like that? I'd say its time to get out and meet some new people. Join a gym, club, sporting team, church, something to get out and meet more positive people. Anything is better that sitting around listening to someone complain about how crappy their life is. Don't continue to contribute to her pity party. You sound like a great person. Cut ties with her and find positive people who deserve your friendship.
2007-03-21 05:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lindsey! People that always talk about there selves, are self centered and need others to make them feel good.
No, your friend does not sound like a real friend but she could be running from something....herself. Be there for her because you are the more mature of you two...she needs your shoulder. Maybe, just maybe the time is not right for her to listen to you as you listen to her....she needs to mature a bit more. Don't wear yourself out over her... and a few more friends for you may just give you the balance you need...:)
Peace
2007-03-21 05:35:49 · answer #3 · answered by xman77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you can do is tell her to listen up. It sounds like friendship with her is a 1 way street and it's getting old fast. If things don't change just stop taking her phone calls. I know you want her to focus on her child and not partying but you can't get her to do that. She has to do it herself. It sounds like she's probably young and immature. I wish we could all help our out of control friends see how destructive their behavior is but we can't. One day she'll grow up and get her priorities straight but until then you can't stress yourself out over her carelessness. You sound like a caring person and you probably have other friends that are capable of being a true friend.
Good luck!
2007-03-21 05:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she needs to get a grip of her life. Understand she is looking for someone to take care of her, and that's all. It's cool if you want to be that person, but if not you gotta set the boundaries. As a friend you need to be blunt at times and not sugar coat things. Tell her first of all she needs to drop the drama and be a mom. Plane and simple. And second tell her your her friend not her therapist, and that you will be there for her, but if she won't do the same for you then you can't be friends. I know that sounds harsh but if she really is your friend then she will understand and realize your rite. Hope this helps.
2007-03-21 05:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an excellent friend.You stood by this girl when the chips were down.She sounds like she has gone through a lot.And needs to grow up .Maybe her partying is a result of taking on a new baby so young.Suggest to your friend you don't mind being a friend but would like her to listen to you sometimes.My concern would be for the baby.Who is caring for it while she parties?
2007-03-21 05:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by sharen d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer being a clever a--, spell examine is attainable while you're apprehensive approximately it. ok, friends come and go. that's a factor of existence. no one has any unique contract on you different than, a husband, or spouse. these days that isn't even a assure. So why ought to you even think of roughly, what somebody that has already shown that they do no longer care, thinks approximately you. do you pick this guy or woman? have they have been given a economic lean on you? Does your destiny wellness in any way rely on what this buddy thinks? circulate ON
2016-10-02 12:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so desperate to have a "Best Friend"; who obviously is a user? You need to search within your self and find out what you're missing in life. Move on with your own life. You don't need to be involved with a party girl who thinks only of herself. If a relationship is not shared equally amongst two friends; it will never grow.
2007-03-21 05:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by riverrat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to find a better friend. There are lots of places to find new friends clubs,church,school etc. You need to just move on and have fun life is too short to worry about other peoples problems!!
2007-03-21 05:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she doesn't sound like a best friend at all...
You should just start treating her how she treats you, see how she likes it...I bet she wouldn't like it very much, if she asks why your being that way, then tell her how you feel about your guy's friendship. Let her know that your hurt about it...Communication is key in any relationship!
Good luck Hun
2007-03-21 05:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋