Why do men always take out their stress on women!?

Question

my boyfriend whenever he has a stressful day at work always takes it out on me. I rang up on his lunch break today as i've always done to see if hes ok and we always normally chat but today he just answered and wen i said how r u he blanked me then when i said ok should i talk to u later...he went mad! said i always bug him and he wishes i stopped ringing him and just leave him alone so i said fine and switched my phone off. If he had a problem with me doing this y didnt he tell me before? :S im so confused my mate at work just thinks hes taking his stress out on me? should i just never bother ringing him or texting him during the day now and let him talk to me when he feels like it?

Answer 1

It sounds like you are just taking all of his stress- b/c he feels you are someone he can do that to. Maybe you should talk with him about how this makes you feel- explain to him that when he is upset he should just tell you and maybe you both can work to a resolve on whatever he is upset about. Tell him you want to help him with his problem. Also, I would talk to him about what he feels like you should do if he is in a bad mood. Does he want you to stay away? Not talk to him until he calls? Some people just like to be left alone until they have cooled down or gotten over whatever they are mad about. I would defintely bring this up- and discuss both of your points of view on this issue. That way if he gets upset next time you will know what to do- and him the same when you get upset.
hope this helps.

Answer 2

Understand that we all get stressed. And most dudes put allot stress on themselves on purpose. When it comes to dealing most guys are a little inadequate in the emotion department. That's not to say he's not a caring guy, it's just that he has a hard time expressing and reasoning his stress. The best thing to do is just call him and be kinda brief. Just say something like I called to say Hi or I loved you, or say I know your stressed I understand and we can talk about it later if you like. If you like the guy you don't have to break up with him for that. But understand that I'm sure you have been stressed out, and the last thing you wanted was someone trying to Analise the situation at the height of aggravation and adding to it. So just say your there for him, and trust me he'll come around. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Perhaps he's just having a really bad day, let him calm down and ring you, then just ask him if he would rather you didn't ring him at work and leave it til later and chat then.

You could always send him a nice, short txt in the mornings and then leave it until the evenings to talk properly, if he rings or txts you during the day then you know he's not stressing out about anything.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear about this. Anytime two people are in a committed relationship the other person becomes a kind of "vent" for issues.

There is a mature way to do this though, and that does NOT entail yelling, taking stress out on the other person, violence, etc.

Something else to consider, guys and girls are wired differently. Guys only need to talk about 35% as much as girls do. Again, the mature response for me when I get home and am tired of talking with people, yet my wife hasn't talked to anyone really, is to let her talk to me. I understand the value of listening to her because it meets an important need.

Your boyfriend may simply not understand your differences in this area. He may "feel" the difference and lash out at you, but not understand why he gets frustrated.

But now that you understand, you have the opportunity to respond by letting him know you love and support him and are simply trying to be there for him. I think a text is great b/c it allows him to respond when he gets a chance.

Answer 5

Its one of the many bizarre things that make up human nature, but for some reason, when we're stressed or have had a rough day, we always take it out on those closest to us. It doesn't make any sense but it happens. However, it doesn't mean behaving like that is acceptable or forgivable. you were only ringing to say hi and see how his day was going. I don't know any couple that don't phone each other at lunch time- its hardly "bugging" him. I think you need to explain to him clearly and sternly that he is NEVER to speak to you like that again. If he's had a bad day, you're there for him but if he ever takes his stress out on you again like that, he'll have to find himself a new girlfriend.

Answer 6

Most likely, yes. Send him one or two messages per day, and not at the same time, one at 10, and one when you're leaving your job, or go out with some friends and have fun, and then send him a message. Make your messages say casual stuff (hi, hope you have a good day today. and whatever you want to say, but don't ask questions that will require him to send you a message back.

Make him need you.

For now, and if possible, wait for him to send you a message first. And then reply, but after a while. Take few minutes to enjoy the victory and then reply...

Good Luck

Answer 7

My best guess is that they take stress out on whoever is closest to them...im guessing you are the closest to your boyfriend. you guys really need to talk together about this problem thoroughly....it will help. always remind him that he makes you feel bad when he takes out his stress. you are a human being and you have feelings!!! he cant just be doing that whenever he feels like it. let him know how you feel. after you guys talk about htis, you will hopefully have decided whether you want keep ringing him or texting him. if he doesnt change his nasty habits, then set some consequences on him. u deserve to be treated well, especially by the man you love!! i hope it all works out for you.

Answer 8

For goodness sake; Stop phoning him.

He obviously thinks you're checking up on him -to find out if he's having an affair with a work colleague.

Give him a lot more space and see if he starts to pay you more attention, which he will do if he thinks he's hurt your feelings!

Your b/fs coworkers may be giving him a hard time over your too attentive phone calls -its just possible.

Answer 9

Don´t worry, this is very common in man, the work has him attention

I recommend you stop ringing him, I´m sure he is going to ring you because he is going to miss you
After work both could practise some sport for to get out the stress if not this relation could be in danger

Answer 10

Because women NEVER take their stress out on men.....that's why.....just kidding. Time apart in a relationship is good. My girlfriend knows not to bug me when I'm at work or out with my guy friends, and I don't bug her either. Non stop contact with a significant other=relationship downfall. Spend time together when you're together....and keep it to a minimum when you're not.