He tells me I'm the only woman he will ever be with but that he "needs" man sex occassionally. I want to hear from others about this. I'm no prude, but I have a hard time with this. He also spends lots of time in chat rooms, etc. He was able to manage this openess in a previous relationship. We are only together for about a year, and had lots of ups and downs. I think his priority should be this relationship, but he continuously defends his "need". Share with me throughts and experiences around bi-sexuality, homosexuality, open relationships, what works and doesn't. I just can't seem to get past the fact that he defends this and makes it so important. If that's the case, why be with me? He doesn't want to "live the gay life". I want to be able to make a decision as to whether I can work this out or not. Im not so insensitive I wouldn't be able to allow someone to be who they are, but I can't help but think this is about "desires" and something that can be discerned.
2007-03-21 04:50:45 · 20 answers · asked by susan 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Accept him or move on.
2007-03-21 04:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Okay your boyfriend sounds like he is using his bisexuality to justify his behavior. His justification is no more acceptable than if you had told him that sometimes you just need a really big c*ck and he doesn't have one so you feel justified in having sex every now and then with someone who does have a really big c*ck. Fidelity and bisexuality can exist within one person, he just doesn't want to be exclusive. He may identify more closely as polyamorous but that would really only apply if he is forming a loving emotional bond with his male partner. He seems to have decided that he needs this in his life and now you have to decide if you need fidelity in your life. If you decide to have an open relationship then you will need to go over together what that means to each of you. Unless you sit down and talk about things and agree on things then you will be headed down the road to a huge fight at some later date. You may want to talk with a therapist who is poly friendly so you can get some input from an outside party.
2007-03-21 06:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow 8 years in a much off relationship is a lot to provide up on so honestly. You 2 have had to lengthy gone by a lot to get to date. adult men are basically adult men each each now and then, it does no longer recommend a lot truly. i know you're damage and for you should communicate with him about it. every time one is damage, communique has to exist. do not carry issues in Bcz he for sure loves you previous each thing/each body else. Being a dumb jerk isn't a relationship criminal, that's basically being a guy. i particularly doubt he has any idea you've been even damage. communique BB--that's what holds issues at the same time as you watch all others fall away. sturdy success N lengthy Love
2016-12-02 08:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by kimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rather not be the barer of bad news, regardless if he wants just a one night thing with a guy or not do you feel that its right in your heart...I always say you dont need to change for anyone, let alone your morals, do what feel its right in your heart, cheating is cheating like someone already stated don't let him talk you into doing something you dont want to....If he feels the need to be with another person then you, maybe your not the person for him.....
I hope everything turns out for the best, best wishes!
2007-03-21 05:04:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is total nonsense.
Why would it be OK to do it with a man?
If he were heterosexual, would you accept that he 'needs' other women every now and then? After all, he's attracted to women, so he 'must'?
There is no difference. He's in a relationship with you.
Bi-sexuality means: Attracted to two sexes.
It does NOT mean: Must have sex with at least two different people.
There is nothing in bisexuality that makes it incompatible with monogamy and faithfulness.
2007-03-21 05:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by mgerben 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first things first, leave him alone. Second, get a full STD screen. It's great that he is being honest with you but now it is your responsibility to do the mature thing and run the other way. And before you lay with someone else...make sure you get checked out.
2007-03-21 05:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by LDS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you consdier this cheating?
if so, you should end the realtionship...
i mean, how many 53 year old bisexual men do you know?
he is going to need to make a decison eventually...
just ask him if YOU can give him the same pleasure a man does...
ie rim jobs, duttplugs, anal beeds, etc...
hope this helped,
me
2007-03-24 16:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Logan...another anti-Doris! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, man or woman, if he gets some on the side, it's cheating. You should just do a threesome with another guy, that would be hot.
2007-03-21 05:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew he was bisexual then... you should have gotten someone who was strictly heterosexual. You cant seem to deal with bisexuality. U knew this would happen.
He would also need to find a gf that will meet his needs and let him have what he needs with a male.
This person will understand that his needs with another male is temporary and that she will have him permanently.
2007-03-21 05:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Triskelion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the issue here is that this guy wants both at the same time, to be in a committed relationship and to play with men also, it amounts to cheating whichever way you look at it, dump him
2007-03-21 05:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by juejua 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like to me he is more into his "gay life" than you. He wont stop this and you should know this. If you feel this way why be with him? He is cheating and you are letting him.
2007-03-21 05:36:59 · answer #11 · answered by FutureMrsBeck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋