I fell in love with a guy for years now, found out last week he was planning a wedding with a girl overseas, when I ask him he start crying asking me not to leave he only wanted his visa from her.... I am hurt .. he never show me in any way that he was doing this.. he has always been nice and show himself off to my friends, family and pastor as my fiance...
I am still crying.. how should I go about leaving him.
2007-03-21 04:15:44 · 12 answers · asked by Tai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you seriously want to base a future w/ this guy on lies? He's already proven that he's not an honest person and if he truly loved you, he would've broke things off w/ the other girl instead of planning a wedding w/ her. If he could do this not only to you, but to this other girl, what makes you think that if you 2 were to make it work, that he wouldn't have yet another girl on the side that you don't know about? He's also proven that he knows how to lead a double life and has duped you into believing that you're the only love in his life. If you continue this relationship w/ him, he'll continue to deceive you and you'll never know when he's lying or telling the truth.
One of the most important fundamentals of relationships is the basis of trust. Luckily you found out ahead of time that this guy isn't worthy of your trust that you have so lovingly given to him, so you should count your blessings that you found out in time to not be considered a "homewrecker."
Don't think that you're alone in this situation either. Many people have gone through tough things like this and I'm sure you'll have the love and support of your friends and family to help you get thru these tough times. They'll all tell you the same thing that you deserve better and also to be the one and ONLY in a man's life. My sister once told me an expression that I live by whenever it comes to men. I'm not sure who said it, but it's awesome! "No man is worth your tears and the man who is will never make you cry." Keep that in mind and find someone else that helps you feel like a better person and vice versa. THAT's what a relationship is all about! Good luck and hope you feel better! (Ben & Jerry's can be your best friends right now! LOL)
2007-03-21 04:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by sweet libra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how much pain and loss you are feeling. I think the trust factor is gone, that's the most important thing to any relationship. Distance yourself for awhile, don't talk to him or anything just tell him you need to be alone for awhile. He should respect that. If anyone asks (like family and friends) just say it doesn't look like things didn't work out and you're glad you found out before it was too late (like being married). They'll be there for you, trust me. Keep busy, go to movies with girlfriends, therapy shopping and other things to keep your mind busy with other thoughts. Eventually the pain will dull with time. I am sorry, I don't even know you, but I can see how devastating this would be. Be strong, distance yourself from him and cling to friends and family you need them now more than ever!
2007-03-21 12:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether he is telling you the truth or not is no issue....he hid something from you! Marriages do not have secrets, and he should have informed you from the beginning of his intentions. Tell him that his overseas bride-to-be can have him....his tears are to manipulate you. Find a real man and tell him to hit the road, the ocean, the skies, however he is planning on getting to her...just GO!
2007-03-21 11:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live together pack your thing and move out, if you don't live together stop answering his calls and ignore him until you are ready to speak to him. What a creep! There are other ways he can get a visa!
2007-03-21 11:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just up and leave. When you do, don't come back. Cut off all ties with him. He's a jerk for doing this to you. Lots of luck.
2007-03-21 11:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy really needs to understand the sanctity of marraige. Its not something you do for visas... tell him that.
2007-03-21 11:25:55 · answer #6 · answered by InLove W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave. Never put your faith in someone that will lie to you unnecessarily. If they will do it without reason, you know they'll do it if they feel they have reason.
2007-03-21 11:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by sleepingbeauty123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a sneak and a liar, you'd be smart to break all ties with him and move on.
2007-03-21 11:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave. There is something seriously wrong with him.
2007-03-21 11:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, open the door, say "good-bye" and put one foot in front of the other.
2007-03-21 11:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by mikey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋