I am 26 weeks pregnant and am concerned that my pregnancy is going to be an issue for her directly afterwards, but I am the ONLY person she trusts to help her, and I am perfectly willing to do anything I need to help her. I am wondering if I can get some advice from women who have either had an abortion or have supported a friend or friends through one on what I can do for her during this time before and after the procedure.
I know I am inevitably going to hear from the prolife crowd concerning this, but I will report you if you do not answer the question as posed. I am not asking what anyones judgmental opinion of this is.
2007-03-21 03:53:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
first answerer: reported
2007-03-21 03:58:42 · update #1
there is no way you can talk her out of it and be there for her during and after the pregnancy? I really think it is going to be a big issue that you are pregnant, however support her in any way she needs
2007-03-21 03:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Is she 100% decided on this decision?? You didn't state why she is having an abortion(and I understand that maybe its personal) Is there a problem with the pregnancy, any abnormal testing or simply she doesn't feel it is right for her?
Anyways, I had an abortion when I had just turned 17, my b/f at the time was against having the baby and pressured me to have an abortion-which of course he held my hand through it-what a jerk! Now I am 21 with an amazing guy and we are expecting a little boy in a few weeks! I couldn't be happier! On the flip side, I feel horrible for what I did 4 years ago, It would be a lie if I said I put it behind me. I don't have to deal with the jerk that I was with through my teenage years, and given if we had a child now, I would be tied to him for life, and I am glad I'm not! However, taking the easy way out isn't the best decision, you live with guilt the rest of your life and it does NOT feel good, it feels awful, expecially when all of my friends started having babies shortly after, it always made me wonder what could of been. If I could go back in time, I honestly don't know if my decision would be different though. Having support from a good friend is important, however since you are pregnant I'm not sure how it will blow over...All I can say is really talk to her and make sure she has really considered her options. Good Luck
2007-03-21 04:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have supported a friend who had an abortion even though I did not support her decision.
If you think your pregnancy will be an issue for her, is it possible that she is not 100% OK with aborting her baby? If that is the case, as a friend you should try to talk her out of this. I have had more than one friend choose to abort a baby, and all of them are enjoying a lifetime of regret and grief over that decision. All the things that they thought were so important at the time that they were pregnant are totally irrelevant to them now. What they do care about is that baby that they lost.
I also have friends that kept their babies or gave them up for adoption. You know, none of them wish they had killed that baby.
If she goes through with the abortion, the birth of your child will most likely be a painful experience for her. I don't think there is anything you can do about that. As a friend you can listen and be supportive, just like you would if you were not pregnant.
I hope you understand that I am not judging your friend. I do not think she is a bad person, but I think she is making a mistake that she will regret for the rest of her life. I would be a total hypocrite if I did not say so.
2007-03-21 04:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by anne p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have gone with a female friend of mine to be her support through an abortion and all I could do to be supportive was hold her hand during the procedure and then give her comfort afterwards. Things like going for coffee together, some shopping seemed to help a little (avoid the baby sections if possible, at least for a time), as much talking as she wanted on any topic (including abortions and her specific abortion when she wanted). Just be the good friend to her that she knows you to be and things should be just fine over time. It was a hard choice for her to make and all you can do/need to do is give her the support she wants from you. Good luck.
2007-03-21 04:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by dragondave187 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had an abortion at 16. It was my first time and I got pregnant. Talk about luck! Anyway, of course at that age I wasn't ready for a baby so abortion was my only option cuz my parents never knew, nor did the father. After that, I can't say that I actually regretted it but I was knew then that I had to eventually be a mom. I worried for awhile that I had given up the only baby God would offer me and that part bothered me for 4 years until I got pregnant again by the same father of the first! That son died at 19 months old and I have to wonder if God claimed that one because I gave up the first one. You'll always have what if's when you make life decisions. You just have to look at yourself and ask what is best for me and the child. Think long and hard before making any decision that you will have to live with all your life. One of the worse things is the "not knowing". Not knowing if my 2nd son would've lived if I hadn't killed the first, what the 1st one would've been, how my life would be different, etc. I'm saying all this and I am STILL Pro-Choice. It is a woman's decision, she has to live with it, not anyone else! Good Luck with your friend
2007-03-21 04:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If she is confident enough in the decision that she has made for herself then your pregnancy shouldn't be an issue. However, making the decision to have an abortion isn't an easy one under any circumstances; so all you can do is be there for her. Knowing that she has someone who supports her decision (whether you agree with it or not) should mean a lot to her. Hopefully she will realize that carrying a pregnancy to term and raising a child is obviously right for you at this time in YOUR life, but that doesn't mean it is necessarily right for her at this point in HER life.
2007-03-21 04:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are already doing the best thing that you can. It will really mean a lot to your friend that you are there for her. Really that is what she is going to need, a support system. Just take her some flowers and pamper her a little bit because I am sure she will be a little upset at first, its normal. I think that you doing this is wonderful and truly shows how good of a friend you are. I do not think that your pregnancy will be an issue for her. Good luck.
2007-03-21 04:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sara 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I supported a friend of mine in January when she went thru the same procedure. I made sure that she was prepared with all of the things she would need after. I bought her pads and also breast pads, she leaked like crazy for over a week after the procedure. I also made sure that she had lots of pain killers and a hot water bottle for the cramping. I also talked with her doctor about using birth control after recovering from the procedure. I also got her a few magazines to read while recovering as well. Don't worry about being pregnant at the same time as your friend is going thru this. Her decision is different than yours, that is all. Also watch for signs of depression after, sometimes this happens and some counselling would be suggested. My friend is only 20, I am 48. She is doing fine.
2007-03-21 04:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by Lynda 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
there is not any 4th trimester. on a similar time as i do no longer help abortion interior the third thrimester (different than in situations of harm to the mummy's well-being), i think of that is only sickening that folk are bringing political propaganda into churches. And, as an self sustaining, i do no longer have confidence that liberals hate usa. How does abortion tutor that they hate usa. professional-existence, besides the actuality that it is the ethical determination, isn't written into the Constution. And we're not a Christian usa. detect a different church. one that would not of course help one social gathering or the different.
2016-10-01 06:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also think that you should try to talk her out of it. In the end, it is her decision, but she is going to be hurt by this and like someone else said, can't you support her in her pregnancy? She is your best friend, an abortion is going to be really hard on her especially with you having a baby so soon after. She is going to see your baby for the rest of your life and think that is how old my baby would have been.
2007-03-21 04:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While your friend might be very upset, and that seeing your bundle of joy still inside you might get her depressed, I think that she will realize all you are doing to be so helpful. If she is getting the abortion for all the right reasons and not simply using it as a form of birth control, she will not resent your impending creation. Just try to continue to be there for her and hope for the best! You sound like a really great friend. Good luck!
2007-03-21 04:07:54 · answer #11 · answered by keonli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋