2007-03-21 03:49:59 · 19 answers · asked by Alma R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sit him down and find out form him. He might be intimidated by the whole baby thing. But you need to get him on board in a big way. Be proactive.
2007-03-21 03:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frequently men are just completely in denial when there is a needy wife and a baby at home. Sit him down and talk to him. He may also be jealous of the baby because it takes all your time and attention or he does not know how to handle the baby and he is worried he will hurt the child.
Sometimes men do not really want to have babies and they go along with it because they do not know what to do about the situation.
My first husband was this way and eventually I felt I had to divorce him because he would just not stay home and be with our son and me. I might add that my former husband was fine and wonderful before the baby came along.
2007-03-21 10:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a child is a life changing event. some people have a hard time with change and it takes them awhile to adjust. The baby needs constant attention from you and that attention you give to the baby is attention you're not giving to him.
It's not your fault by any means, that's just the way it is.
also keep in mind that the perception he has of you has now changed. You are no longer the girl he saw from across the room and fell in love with. You are not his lover anymore, you are the mother of his child and that is a completely different outlook for him.
It's not really fair to you, but it's a fact of life.
Give him a little time to adjust to the change in your home. Just like some new moms develop postpartum depression, the same kind of thing can happen to new dads as well.
If he isn't any better in a month or so, then you may want to pursue further remedies.
2007-03-21 11:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by Thrill K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
men have a way of feeling left out when a new baby comes i mean you have a bond with this child that's at birth already 9 months old right? give hubby some time he might just be trying to figure out where he fits into this new family and just try talking to him include him and remember communication is the key good luck and congrats on the baby
2007-03-21 10:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by patbgone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a big change for a man when the first child is born, he realizes he is not the only person in your life and that the baby needs you more than he does. The whole responsibility of becoming a father hit me then and no matter how much I thought I was ready it was still a culture shock, he should start to brighten up soon or there is a larger problem.
2007-03-21 10:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by Uncle B2 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are not as affectionate as we are. So we can't expect them to show as much love as we do. Get a baby sitter and plan a special evening out. And if possible spend a romantic night together. This is a good way to rekindle your love for one another. Make sure you work on looking just as good before you had the baby on this special evening and always. Make sure your not sitting around looking all fat and lazy. Thats a turn off. You have to continue to work at your marriage to keep it just like a job. Good luck. And remember if your a bigger size now, then buy a size that fits you nicely.
2007-03-21 10:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by My two cents 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would talk to him about it. I know you have a lot on your plate with a new baby, but men seem to have a harder time adjusting. Try getting him involved with the daily care of the baby. Give him a chance to become a great father and a better husband.
2007-03-21 11:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because your in the house taking care of the baby and since you are looking after the baby he feels like he can have freedom, so hes probably out hanging with the boys and at a bar, but thats dirty for him to do that, i would leave him home with the baby one day and then go out and dont come back til whatever time he usually comes home and then see how he likes that.
2007-03-21 10:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by future journalist 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men are babies themself..and are some are really not good with handling change...or cannot deal with stress..this is brand new for him..and usually when a baby is quite small a man dont really know how to hold the baby..i remember when my sisiters had their kids i never held them...only after they reached a certain age thats when i got involved..
men need time to adjust..where as we women know how to take on many many roles..wife.. mom..daughter..chef..cleaning lady..freak for your man...employee..need i say more..
just speak to him let him know how you feel..or better yet..if the baby is crying or need a bottle say something like babe can you..ease him slowly into this roll..
2007-03-21 11:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats just the way some men are. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change, tell him that since you & the baby don't exist to him, why should he exist to you and tell him you want a divorce.
2007-03-21 10:57:21 · answer #10 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋